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Show ' . 9 ; November 22, 2000 ( by Gary Boyle Hilltop Times staff Ever find yourself in a store looking down at your child who is throwing a fit? Do you find yourself first trying to talk and reason with your child, then persuade, followed by yelling and eventual spanking? Do you wonder who this child is and what happened to your sweet baby? Family Advocacy has a program for you to regain control of your home and a return of your loving child. parents loss of control even if it results in the child being spanked. Phelans method depends on a parents ability to maintain control. The Magic method works simply and quickly In an example and is designed for children ages from the video a child enters the kitchen demanding a snack before dinner. The mother says no but the child insists. Upon the first insistence the parent counts off one, the child continues the parent says two, as the child continues to push the matter the parent says three and time out. sends the child to her room for a to This is the technique to get a child stop doing things. Parents should think of themselves as wild animal trainers. If you do the same technique over and over youll be in control not the animal, said Sondrup. Variations on this idea are also illustrated. If the child hits the parent the child is sent directly to time out by the parent saying three and the amount of time can also be altered by offense and age. The key to success, Phelan says in the video, is the parent remains calm and avoids discussion while counting. After a few days children should get the idea and parents should find themselves not reaching the count of three all the time, but some children will test parents resolve. Phelan puts children into three categories: The first immediately comply and go with the pro- -' gram. The second test the parents resolve, this group can take a week or two to grasp the concept of what is happening, they rebel because they are losing control. The third group often complies initially and as they feel they are losing control they begin to act out, and -3 3. five-minu- Magic is a video by clinical psychologist Dr. n Thomas W. Phelan and is the core instrument in a course hosted by Family Advocacy Outreach Manager Daryl D. Sondrup. He guarantees that if parents apply the techniques illustrated in the video correctly, they will reduce stress levels and regain control of the home. Parents get out of control, they yell and scream. So that in itself is rewarding for a child because it gives the to act in this child power, the child has got the grown-uway said Sondrup. If a parent can stay calm and use the techniques from this class, not only will your kids like you, youll like them better. And that is the bottom -3 two-sessio- p line. Phelan initially points out that most parents try to deal with their children as if they were little adults capable of rational reasoning and understanding. But a is not a little adult. Sondrup said, children feel inferior because they are, they are smaller with less knowledge and control over their environment, so they act out and try to gain some control. This is why children dont mind if that control is gained through their five-year-o- ld te Yon Con Live the test parents unlike the first two. This third group may make the parents feel the program is not working but Phelan suggests parents stick to the regimen and ride out the storm. The Magic system has been effective with and those with special needs, such as children average hearing or .sight impaired and attention deficit disorder. The system can even work in public parents just have to decide how to handle where to do time out. One of the elemental keys of the program is that punishment is swift and conclusive. ,Once the child is out of time out, unless the infraction was really bad, discussion of the event in question is over. The first of Sondrups classes deal exclusively with getting children to stop using bad behavior including sibling rivalry, temper tantrums, arguing, and whining. The sfecond class helps parents get their children to do the things they want them to do, like clean up their room, household chores or do homework. Response to the class has been tremendous with over 400 base personnel signing up. We usually get about 5 people signing up for one of our classes this time it is 400. The great thing about the video is we can show it to a bunch of people all at once, said Sondrup. The class is wide open to anyone on base. Those interested in taking the class can contact Family Advocacy at Classes will be held during the day on Monp.m. Night classes day and Dec. 7 from 3:00 p.m.-4:1- 5 will be held on Monday and Dec. 7 from 6:00p.m.-7:1p.m. All classes will be held at the base theater. The video can also be checked out from the Weber County -3 10-1- 5 Library. All-Americ- an i I; AT THE WEBER CQUim Show Hours Saturday 9-- t' FAIRGROUNDS Sunday 5 9-- 4 ccccocczzzzzzcz V.A., Free Tmil. 3 - jf . V? .i'WHT Quieitg Comedy Improv best comedy improv from SLC comes to Clearfield. Two teams of comedians compete to see who can make you laugh the most. The real winner is the audience! No two shows are ever the same!! 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