| OCR Text |
Show 4 - DECISIVE TIMES - SEPTEMBER 1993 More YES from Page 1. _ would be nice if we were~all in com— plete agreement each step of the way, but we aren’t. It would be nice to have a simple way out, but a quick, easy solution now might create big problems for the community in the future. We are a diverse and strongly independent group living here and the decisions we make need to be group decisions, so that we foster understanding and acceptance among us. We all share such basic needs as security, economic well being, a sense of belonging, and control over our lives. One of the joys of this small community is that each one of us is aware that we can make a difference with our involvement. I’d like to share some helpful info from a great little book passed on to me called Getting to Yes, by Fisher and Ury of The Harvard Negotiation Project. It’s about problem solving and communicating. The methods are meant for use in any situation where issues need to be resolved, whether in community or your professional, social, or personal life. First and foremost is the idea that the goal of any decision (any meeting or issue) is a wise outcome reached efficiently and amicably. Second we need to lay out the problem clearly before we seek the answer. Third, expediency should not defeat principle. Group work is slow but sure. And lastly, those who choose to participate in this process are all problem solvers. Separate the people from the problem. Often when people disagree they tend to dislike each other. But in order for conflict to be productive it needs to be based on substantive issues, not likes and dislikes. Be soft on people, you have decided upon. Your interests are what led you to that decision. Either side of an issue usually contains multiple interests, many which we share. Look to reconciling interests, not to compromising positions. ’Avoid having a bottom line, it just might drag you down. This is a crucial step in problem solving. - Explore interests (be specific). - Acknowledge each other’s interests. - Identify the issues. - Ask yourself (and others) why, to gain an understanding of what is at stake for yourself and others. Under— standing does not mean agreeing. Invent options for mutual gain. Develop a variety of possibilities to choose from or blend together— decide later. In a dispute we may feel parties involved. Guidelines for this are: - Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. - Reason and be open to reason (and closed to threats). - Yield to principle, not to pressure. We need to share our info and ideas, decide which ideas are best, and gain acceptance of the best ideas. While some may thrive in an argumentative milieu, most of us here in the valley would just like to get along with our neighbors and live the life we choose. Working out our differences doesn’t always mean getting what we want, but it can mean being happy with what we have. —Ji1 Kulander that we have the right answer, but short sighted self-concem results in a one-sided solution. We need solutions that work for the community as a whole. - Brainstorm—side by side we come up with a list of as many ideas, silly and sane as possible. - Suspend judgement, don’t evaluate yet. Let’s not allow judgement to hinder our imagination. Obstacles to a successful brainstorming session are: premature judgement, searching for a single answer, assumption of limits (solution is an either/or situation), and thinking that solving a personal concern is their problem. A satisfying agreement can be made even though and sometimes because our interests are different. Insist on objective criteria. Try for a result based upon fair standards and procedures. Trying to solve the problem together rather than to force each other to back down uses our time more productively and efficiently. Let’s concentrate on the O D 0 CANYONLANDS FIELD INSTITUTE invites CV to its 1 993 Spaghetti Feed Sunday, October 17 01‘ Professor Valley Field Camp Adults: 35 Children (o—l2): 33 Children under 6: FREE Family rote: $20 Naturalist Activity at 3 Dinner at 4 pm. Coll CFI 0 259-7750 for more information. merits of a problem not the mettle of hard on the problem, work side by side—not a face—off. Ideas to keep in mind are: - Try to understand their point of view. - Don’t deduce their intentions from your fears. Cast 1e Valley 1X Inn - Don’t blame them for your problem. - Discuss each other’s perceptions. - Use active listening, play back what you believe you heard. - Speak about yourself, not about them. Focus on interests, not on positions. Your position on an issue is what A Bed and Breakfast Eric Thomson & Lynn Forbes Thomson 801—259—601 2 CVSR 2602, Moab, Utah 84532 |
