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Show Nov. 17, 1994 If you are interested in under- standing the reasons for children's misbehavior and how parents can respond in positive ways that teach desirable behavior and strengthen parent-chilrelationships, sign up for a special parenting seminar, "Discipline Without Tears," being held at the Family Support Center, d Learn how to It Discipline without tears , study, parents reported using the following forms of discipline: yelling or scolding, 52 percent; spanking, 50 percent; sending to room, 38 percent; restricting play or TV, 32 percent; and sending to bed, threatening, giving chores, and taking away allowance on down the list. Unfortunately, these negative techniques tend to have negative side effects. The main one is that children who are treated negatively tend to respond negatively. A child who is screamed at a lot tends to scream at others. A child who is spanked is more likely to hit others. Other side effects include resentand insecuriment, low ty.: In addition, children are less likely to develop their own conscience and internal when negative discipline is used. They worry more about getting caught than doing what is right. There are other teaching techniques that' are more useful than punishment. Being human, as parents we will lose our patience and not use what we know.1 But the more we can have a variety of teaching tools at our disposal, the more we can adapt what we do to the situation and the child rather than falling into the same old pattern. These tools can be. classified as preventive or corrective. Preventive Discipline Preventive tools are the things we do to keep misbehavior from occurring in the first place. This is not done just by wishing, but by planning ahead. For example, if you know that bringing home a treat results in argument over who gets what, preventive discipline suggests self-estee- m self-contr- ol thinking ahead about how to deal with it. Other ideas include: D Letting children know what they can do. Have areas for play, toys and equipment for children to use, and sometimes planned activities. Agree on rules. Four or five are enough. Rules should include consequences for breaking them. Discuss them so everyone understands. D Set an example. Be polite, show respect and be thoughtful of your children's needs. Avoid sarcasm. Much of what children learn is "caught" from example rather than "taught" through words. D Remove objects that are creating a problem with a simple "I'll hang on to this for a while." Praising a child for good behavior is also preventive discipline. Corrective Discipline Corrective discipline includes the tools to help the child who has misbehaved know how to act the next time. This is where parents usually use punishment. But corrective disciple doesn't have to be traumatic. SHOCKS HOURS: 8 SAT. VISA oz 3O W P D mm I 3COUPONI II BASIC BRAKE u SERVICE SPECIAL Four wheels front & reor ' Replace pads & shoes Resurface rotors & drums Inspect wheel bearings & seats Insoect hardware & springs Inspect wheel cylinders & calipers Maintenance inspection Most U.S. cars & light trucks pods extra drive & wheel disc extra o II Z Or 1 (Expires 1 fOt APPOINTMENT - D Most cars. Additional ports' ond labor extra Diesels slighHy higher. Expires 1 irnnrnriRi LAYTON ; 825-228- r-i- i-i I CALL FOR APPOINTMENT r Computer Thrust ' Alignment Most import & American including light trucks. Additional parts & service extra. Toe Set $24.95 4 Wheel $49.95 O I (Expires D I - ft YEAR WARRANTY 0 stort05i Installed most cart COMPUTER BALANCE c fl ff (Expires We'll rotate your tires and computer balance oil four wheels. . Most cars & light trucks. Custom wheels extra. BancaCOUPONicscacaB 4 m9B (Expires 776-1101 1 & - 0 nO cTJ o z D D COUPONS! 1 are good at Layton in OA A.J1 & ROTATE IO Installed most cars 1 0 CONVERTERS 1591 No. Main. These Coupons 0 cTJ C MUFFLERS A THE HONEST ALIGNMENT SWCOOPONtS 4-t- I g Parti Extra Call for appointment. 95s CATALYTIC o; .b i IBQ D 4x4't SOME CARS v c w ill V2M HUM .4 LXJA ICOUPONll D o MON.-FR- I. . 2 NOON WHFFI RFARING REPACK ft 0-94) TUNE-U-P D P.M. H- i- Z4 iCOUPONll 2 In most electrical ignition con we'd imtoll new resistor tporfc plugs, ad- jutt idle speed, set timing, test battery and charging systems and inspect other key engine parts. tCYUNDH CAil A.M.-- 6 8 A.M.-- (S)95 COUPON D "doff. "I Performance JOINTS EL e. Noril. Quality CV BOOTS & JOINTS r self-defens- Service STRUTS BATTERIES U should stress personal responsi- - s. bility and help children see how their behavior led to the conse-- . quences they experience. Here is one set of steps to use. 1. Stop the behavior. 2. Ask the child "What are you doing?" (The child will respond if the question is asked in a way.) 3. "Is it against the rules?" child responds. Don't accept excuses if you want to foster responsibility. 4. "What did we agree were the consequences for breaking that rule?" Carry them out, without as hostility, but as matter-of-factl- y possible. 5. "What will work better next time?" Help the child think of alternatives and a plan to carry them out. Express trust in the child's ability to do better. parents will be too Sometimesuse these steps. In say, "I'm too upset to talk about this right now. We'll discuss it later." Then go and cool off. If the children are upset, they also will need time to settle down before discussion can be effective. If you lose your cool, apologize and start back with step two. Parents often have the idea that to get children to behave better they first have to make them feel worse. But when children feel discouraged, they are even more likely to misbehave. Learning takes place best when children feel secure. When they feel threatened, all their No energy goes to learning takes place. When discipline is based on respect, it is most effective. Respect for ourselves and our children results in strengthened family non-threateni- ng Dec. 1, p.m. Dr. Tom Lee, Department of Family and Human Development, Utah State University, will facilitate. Preregistration is required. For more. information or' to register call Ext. When you hear the word discipline, what kind of image comes to mind? Probably not teaching, even though the word discipline comes irom a iacm woral meaning to teach or instruct. ' As parents, though, when we tell a child, "I'm going to teach you a lesson!" teaching is probably not going to take place. We often use punishment as a form of discipline; but as a teaching technique punishment is not very effective. is still the most Punishment form of to one 17 Hilltop Times 0 5 So. 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