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Show Page Eight - The Springville Herald July 8, 1998 The Pasellel Universe iheory by Brad Phillips Let me give you a hypothetical hypotheti-cal situation that happened to me about twice a day. I am watching TV, reading the newspaper or performing some other selfless act of service for my family. My wife, Jan, comes in and gives me one or two or eleven jobs that need to be done to make the house beautiful. She is frantic Scottish festival The fifteenth annual Payson Scottish Festival will be held Saturday, July 11, at the Payson Memorial Park. 250 S. Main, in Payson. -At 9 a.m. a procession will officially summon all spectator's spect-ator's attention as all bands, officials, clan members and anyone wishing to will meet at the First Security Bank parking lot and proceed up Main Street to the park. The procession simulates simu-lates the traditional gathering of the clans. At the park there will be a Highland dancing competition, including dancers from four to adult ages. Men's and women's athletic events will include stone put, hammer throw, 28 for distance, 56 weight for height, and distance, caber and sheaf toss, divisions. Pipe band members mem-bers will compete in practice chanter, practice pad, drumming, solo and ensemble. Drum majors will also compete. There will be seventeen vendors ven-dors selling their Scottish import items. Thirty-five clan tents will be on hand to help people trace their ancestors. A breakfast will be available at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday. Specially Spe-cially prepared Scottish foods will be served. The recipes for the menu have been handed down from family to family. The Ethnic Eth-nic food booth, serves the Scots Egg, sausage rolls, shortbread, trifles, tarts, m,at and tatie pie. The center booth, egg wmuffin and hash brown potatoes. After the breakfast the menu changes to hamburgers etc. On Friday; July 12, at 8:30 p.m. the Colorado Youth Pipe Band will entertain guest who arrive early. Admission is free and the park is accessible to handicapped. For more information call. Colleen at 465-2933. Health note One of the easiest ways to prevent burns at home is to turn your water heater down. If the temperature is currently set at more than 120 degrees, you are placing your family at risk for serious scald burns. Children are most vulnerable because their skin is thinner, and the elderly often have less sensitive skin and slower reaction times. Here's what you should do to keep your family safe: In the bath: Run cold water first, then add hot. This will prevent a scald if a child should happen to fall in while the tub is being filled. Before placing a child in the tub, check the water temperature first by moving your hand through the water for a few seconds. If the water feels hot, it is too hot for the child. Toys in the bathtub make it seem like a play area. Give the child a washcloth instead. Face the child away from faucets and at the opposite end of the rub. Never leave a young child unattended, even for a second, in a tub or sink. Consider installing anti-scald anti-scald valves on tub faucets and shower heads. The water heater: Water heaters should be set at no more than 120 degrees. Gas water heaters are easy to adjust, but call your utility company to adjust an electric water heater. After the thermostat is turned down, check the temperature tempera-ture 24 hours later to be certain it is low enough to be safe. First aid: Run cool water over any burn for several minutes, then cover with a clean cloth and seek medical attention. Never put butter or other oils on a burn The average length of stay in a hospital for a tub or shower tap water scald burn is 17 days. It takes only seconds for hot water to cause a third-degree bunt. because our parents or friends or casual acquaintances will be coming to visit in only six months and she just isn't sure if the house can be reclaimed from its natural condition within that time span. At this point, I usually make one of two possible mistakes. Mistake number one is to glance around the house and say, "It looks great to me!" I am not lying. The house does look great to me. What I recently discovered, discov-ered, however, is that my wife and I exist in parallel universes. In my universe, all the laundry is done, the dishes are washed, the beds are made and the floors are vacuumed. In my universe, the house appears clean. Simultaneously, in Jan's parallel universe, the same basic has caused us both a great deal of grief. The root of the problem is that most men do not have the desire to do housework, even fewer have the ability, and no man has any idea what a fair distribution would be. My neighbor, neigh-bor, Carol, had to forbid her well-meaning husband to ever clean the bathroom again after she saw him using the same rag to clean the toilet, and then the sink and bathtub. Another neighbor wanted to surprise his wife by making dinner before she got home. Unfortunately, he obliterated a new saucepan when he tried to boil dry spaghetti noodles in the spaghetti sauce. Undaunted, the same guy later made some sort of fruit salad-like concoction for his family by combining spaghetti $ $ a w (?) r: of c j&a : n3 v .4 $ 'vi " r. I f Q i f trs v5 J Dancing in the pre-show at the Springville World Folkfest will be Rinceoiri Don Spraoi, a group of Irish dancers from Highland. Their dancers range from age eight to adult who enjoy experiencing the rich heritage and tradi tions of Irish Dance. Visitors to the folkfest can come early and purchase their dinner from one of the many food booths and enjoy the pre-shows pre-shows while they are eating. There will also be things to buy from the visiting dance groups. Chore To Be Done Female Standard Male Standard It is time to clean the refrigerator The lettuce starts to brown. The leftovers are unrecognizable, when It is time to mop the kitchen floor After every meal. When the kids cannot lift their feet from the floor. It is time to take out the garbage The receptacle is full. The flies refuse to enter your when home. It is time to clean the toilet After the hoys have used it. When the dog won't drink from it, anymore. It is time to do the laundry when The hamper is full. The kids are wearing Halloween ' costumes. It is time to wash the windows You see a smudge. You cannot tell day from night, when It is time to do the dishes when The meal is over. You run out of paper plates. It is time to do some yardwork Dandelions start appearing. A tornado leaves the yard cleaner when than it found it. F3 lM r conditions exist, but for some reason there is a critical need to clean the window screens with a toothbrush and pull out all the major appliances and sweep and mop behind them. The second mistake I often make is to tell Jan, "I have already al-ready done my share of the housework." hous-ework." In my universe, my "share" of the housework consists of putting my clothes in the dirty clothes pile, clearing my dishes after dinner and telling the kids to take out the garbage. My wife's "share" consists of everything else. Apparently, in Jan's universe, this is not an equitable distribution of the household hous-ehold chores. This discrepancy noodles, mayonnaise, oranges and apples. His kitchen privileges were immediately suspended. Men will often go to great extremes to avoid housework. The most egregious example of this occurred during the war of 1812. The day before the British attacked Washington, D.C., First Lady Dolly Madison had prepared pre-pared a state dinner for forty people. The meal was on the table and ready to eat when hundreds of British soldiers burst into the White House. The famished fam-ished soldiers were not bashful. They sat down and helped themselves them-selves to dinner. Needless to say, the soldiers made an awful mess. Instead of cleaning up the dishes and leaving like the English gentlemen they claimed to be, they started a fire in the dining room and burned down most of the White House and Washington, Washing-ton, D.C. Since it is usually impractical for the modern husband to burn down the kitchen after every ,meal, I have compiled, with my wife's assistance, a housecleaning guide to help men know when it is time to help with the house-cleaning house-cleaning chores and to help women wom-en know when they are most likely to receive help. MTC DELIVERY SERVICE Now Available at The Springville Herald 161 South Main, Springville 489-5651 Packages $150" Letters $100 Packages in bij 2:00 p.m. delivered to the MTC the same da No special packaging necessary- no perishable s items Please! FEATURING "Superior Quality You Expect In A Home." 46,320 TRIPLE SECTION HOME PlutDeliwiyiSetUp. Approjl938n.IL -Z FOREVER DOMES. INC. 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