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Show A1 0 Wednesday, April 1 8, 2007 Vernal Express 0 nion ypo Public Forum - Letters to the Editor What is your opinon? The Vernal Express welcomes letters from its readers concerning any subject pertinent to the Uintah Basin, there are no restrictions on contents, if not libelous, vindictive and is in good taste. The letters may be edited for length. Letters must be submitted exclusively to the Vernal Express and bear the writer's full name, signature, phone number and address. Letters for the sole purpose of expressing thanks to individuals or groups will not be printed in this forum. Letters may be mailed to 54 North Vernal Avenue, Vernal, Ver-nal, Utah 84078, faxed at 435-789-8690 or emailed to editorvernal.com The name or names of the persons submitting letters must appear on all published letters. Letters express the opinion of the writer and are not necessarily the . opinion of the Vernal Express. . Sexual Abuse Situations Difficult By Kevin Ashby Vernal Express Publisher Last week we ran a very disturbing story concerning thesentencingoflsaiah Tyrone Drake, after he admitted to touching the genitals of a 10-year-old female relative. What I want to talk about is what happened after the touching was finished and how the victim proceeded to do some remarkable things that brought about a conviction. First of all, how many times do we have to hear that sexual abuse usually happens by someone the family member knows. This was the case with Drake as the minor's mother stated that Drake had come over to their house all the time and was a trusted family member. I know we can become a paranoid society when we don't trust anyone, but we should also look for signs of.abuse from loving and trusted friends and family. Second, it's important to note that there was an adult present when the minor felt like talking. And in this case, the mother was not only there, but willing to listen to her daughter. The mother even mentioned that in hindsight, her daughter was tryingto get her alone to talk withhermuch sooner than when it happened. Another Piece of My Ming By Delmar Hyde I was in the backyard this afternoon. My hands were busy with some routine tasks that didn't need my mind's attention so my mind went somewhere else. My wife thinks that maybe it got lost for a while, but when it came back it was dragging an interesting little piece of thought. I started wondering why it was that a person who , I've barely met can come into my office and find me credible and trustworthy, but my teenage children think I'm out of touch. They think my opinions about the world today are outdated and old-fashioned. I want them to just trust me and believe me. I'm a smart guy and I've been around for a lot longer than they. I've been a good dad so far. I have protected" and loved them. I won't steer them wrong. I want them to be happy and I know what will make them happy. I don't get it. It seems to me that this teenage phenomenon is especially bad at about age IS. So, today 's questionis: What makes a person credible? Several years ago I was given an article to read by . a colleague of mine. It was written by a professor from a well known university. He had a long list of credentials and he had an enjoyable style of writing. The prelude to the article, written by the publications editor, highly praised the author and spoke ofhis integrity and knowledge. The article came into my hands because it spoke of the origins and beliefs of my religion. My friend wanted my opinion of the article. As I read through the article I began to wonder at the purpose of the author. I couldn't find fault with any ofhis facts. The story line was correctThere was nothing factually wrong in the article, yet it somehow didn't tell the story. If writing has a flavor, then the flavor of this article just didn't taste right. That was my report to my friend. "The ingredients are right, but somehow in the mixture, this recipe went wrong." Over the years I've In the end, the mother was there and every child needs "someone there" for them. This is a responsibility that we, as parents, need to realize and make time for. Third, I point out that after such a confession, the. listening adult has some weighty decisions to make. These kinds of allegations are serious and life-altering for everyone. I hope we are in a position where we can trust our children and know them well enough to know if they are fabricating a story before you have to make this kind of decision about accusing someone of abuse. In this case, we have a mother who decided to believe and trust her young daughter and move forward with the case even though there had to be major trouble in the family as they discussed how things should proceed. Whether or not it should be handled by the family members. Whether the police should be called in. Plus a lot of other what ifs. This would be a process that even the best communicators in the world would have a hard time figuring out. Fourth, I congratulate the family members involved with the minor for following through to the very end. This considered this experience from a lot of different angles. One of the things it did was to convince me that not everything written is credible. In our society we are conditioned to' believe that if it's published it must be true. There is something about words being written down that position them for believing. The same holds true for many other types of media. If the news anchor said it then it must be true. Isn't there a law sayingthat the newscaster has to tell the truth? Isn't there a mandate for the news to be broadcast from a purely factual perspective with all opinions omitted? Somehow we are conditioned to believe this, but I've personally lost that preposition to credibiUty. More and more I trust the flavor. Earlier I mentioned that person who walks into my office and trusts me without really knowing me well. I am trustworthy, but with no prior personal contact between us there must be some other reason why this happens. It's a little like the news anchor. If my office is professional and if I am established in the community, then the inclination is that I can be trusted. If there has been a recommendation or referral to me, then the inclination will be even stronger. Certificates and credentials serve to strengthen that inclination. Each of us assigns a personal measurement of credibility to these details and we make our initial judgments based on that first impression. Most of us see the details, but few of us really notice them. Happily, our judgments are more often right than wrong, but on occasion the details are false and our impressions are wrong. Deceivers have learned that these details can be forged and false messages can be sent without even saying a word. First impressions start the show and they are important but they don't carry the day. Certificates can beforged. They will sometimes fool us but the most valuable and strongest element of this credibility factor is very difficult to falsify. is not a road well traveled with lots of advice signs along the way. It is a road with a lot of impediments and without the conviction that you know your minor is telling the truth it would be almost impossible to navigate. In this case, they hung in there and there was a conviction of an adult that turned to those in attendance at his hearing and admitted to the same. Eighth district Judge A Lynn Payne only scratched the surface of defining hurt when he told Drake, "You've hurt people, so many people, deeply." I would hope that we as adults would think twice before going down the road of sexual abuse. At least think of the consequences and of hurt of everyone that the impending abuse will impact and then don't do it. At least have that much control over yourself. And in the end, as parents and responsible adults, I would hope that we train, discuss and talk with our children about what to do when these things happen, and then give them our love and support to the very end to make sure the correct punishment accompanies the crime. Sincerity is like the flavor of a conversation. It is like the taste of a relationship. Without being able to describe exactly what or why, we can still sense the good or bad, the right or wrong. Sincerity, or lack of it, impels us to look at motivation. As I read the article presented to me by my friend I automatically wondered about the author's purpose. I wondered if he had a personal reason to draw me to his conclusion. A doctor's opinion, an attorney's advice or a financial advisors' recommendation will only carry credibility if we believe that heshe is motivated to help us. When we sense a selfish motive the credibility is gone. On the other hand, when sincerity exists, we assign personal pronouns to these professionals. They become my doctor, my attorney and my financial advisor. Any professional who deals with personal relationships will only be successful by sincerely caring for their clients needs first. This thought wandered a long way from my teenage children. I established in my own mind that sincerely caring is the most powerful part of being credible, but I still have a problem. .My eighteen-year-old daughter is one of the people I sincerely care most about in this world. She still isn't listening ... or is she? Maybe eighteen-year-old girls are just irrational and they have to grow out of it, or maybe dads of eghteen-year-old girls need to learn to listen better. Maybe eighteen-year-old girls just don't know what is important, or maybe dads of eighteen-year-old girls need to learn to listen better. Maybe my daughter needs to find a way to have her own life and she can't choose what I've told her to choose because then it would be my choice. Maybe I just heed to learn to listen better. Whatever it is I am sure of one thing. She knows I love her and she loves me back. That will pull us through. mw MYor. nv.j jzi u wwi If iJllh p$$h I 1.1 1 iii VIM JMfl 111 U 1 I "told Slirnha he gun was loo big for Cotffcoy (P oils Call for The Western Heritage Museum is asking for art entries for the 6th Annual American Indian Art Show to be on display throughout : theKmth of'faf&fSmAeS must be in by Monday, June 4,2007. All artwork is welcome including paintings, April is Month' at IFA During the month of April, a portion of IFA Country Stores' fertilizer sales will go to local chapters of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the nation's largest larg-est wish-grantingorganization for children with life-threatening medical conditions. "We are pleased to be a partner of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, " said Brad Camp, Marketing Vice President of IFA Country Stores. "April is the best time to present this opportunity to our customers, many of whom are now buying fertilizerforspringgardening.'' There will also be Magnetic and Paper Wish Stars available for customers to purchase at all IFA Country Store locations. loca-tions. All of the proceeds will go to the foundation. Although the Make-A-Wish Foundation is a nationwide na-tionwide charity organization, organiza-tion, donations generated from IFA sales will go . toward to-ward helping local children. IFA has been "helping you grow the things you love" since 1923 by proVidingprofes-sional proVidingprofes-sional products and services to the agricultural community as well as hobby farms and ranches. With headquarters in Salt Lake City, IFA operates oper-ates more than 35 locations in five states throughout the Intermouhtain West, v, ' - him! art show beadwork, woodwork, and leatherwork. Artwork should be brought to the Western Heritage Museum at 328 E. 200 South, in Kfefflatdgacent to Western Park. Entries will be on display from June 5 through June 23. A reception will be held Kindergarten Roundup for Davis Elementary Friday, April 20 1 :30 p.m. Parents: If you have a child or know a child who will be entering kindergarten at Davis Elementary in the fall of 2007, please plan to attend kindergarten roundup. (Child need not attend.) Please bring the following items with you: Birth Certificate Immunization Records 5DTPDTaPDT 4 Polio 2 Measles 1 Mumps 1 Rubella 3 Hepatitis B 2 Hepatitis A 1 Varicella Students must be 5 years old or older by September 1 to qualify for kindergarten attendance Walk for Fragile X Syndrome SATURDAY, APRIL 21st, 2007 Freestone Legacy Walking Park Registration: 9:00 am - 9:45 am Group Picture & Announcements 9:45 am -10:00 am WALK TIME: 10:00 am Raffle drawing to be held during walk. For registration forms or more information: call: 781-6255 email: vernalutfxhotmail.com - . Raise $20 & receive a Walk for Fragile X T-shirt Raise $40 & receive a Walk for Fragile X Sweatshirt ; ,v; www.fragilex.org FraqileX entries ! on Wednesday, June 6 from 6:30 to 8 p.m. for the artists and museum staff. For more information call, MariahCuchat722-8541at 1 the Ute Bulletin or the staff 1 at the Western heritage Museum at 789-7399. Association of JUh x |