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Show Existential Funk Letting George do it bV Don Garrett v . - : J instructions I'd pay more attention to your ideas." "But how can you pay attention when you don't even hear them?" The President was sympathetic. "Never mind," he explained. "What I want to talk to you about is your job. According to my notes, my staff thinks you should quit. However, I want you to know that I'm behind you 1000 percent." "Thank you, Mr. President." "Still," Nixon continued, "I'm asking everybody to resign voluntarily for the record. Then if I want to keep you, I just refuse your resignation. You look hesitant, George. Whafs the matter, don't you trust me?" "Well sir, if if s really voluntary, I think I'd rather not resign." "Of course, I understand," said the President sympathetically. "Do you still play chess?" "Yes sir." "Do you still jog?" "Yes sir." "Do you still play golf?" "No sir. I quit." "I accept your resignation with deep regret, George, but you insist on quitting." "No sir, I didn't" "Show him out," Nixon told one of his most respected lackeys. "And then get me General Thieu on the phone." "Hello, General," said the President. "Listen, I know how concerned you are about the peace talks, and I just called to tell you I'm backing you 1000 percent. What, General? Oh, that's just an American expression we have." Everyone knows that Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Develop-ment George Romney recently resigned and said he would form a new citizen's coalition of "truth-seekers "truth-seekers and communicators." He also complained that the recent presidential campaign had failed to touch on the important issues, like why nobody wants Romney for president anymore. But not everyone knows how the resignation came about. "Excuse me, Mr. President..." "You got the sandwiches?" "I don't think you understand, sir. I'm George Romney." "The guy I ran against in New Hampshire in '68? Good to see you. What can I do for you?" "I still don't think you understand. un-derstand. You sent for me, sir. They said you wanted to see each Cabinet member." "Oh, you're in the Cabinet," said Nixon. "How's it going?" "Frankly Mr. President, I've got a lot of suggestions, but I can never get through to talk to you about them. Every time I call they say you're busy and not to call again." "And then you try to call again?" Nixon asked. "Yes sir, but I" "You've got to learn to follow instructions." "Yes sir. But ifs " "Maybe if you'd learn to follow |