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Show How to improve parkina i Renting motorscooters instead of bicycles. Issuing roller skates. Utilize modern technology to: Televise classes so students could stay home and watch. Install portable T.V.'s in the parking lots. Dematerialize cars (temporarily I hope). Invent disposable cars. Equalize the University population and: ' Rule out .parking stickers, special areas, parking fees. Make first-comers park farthest out, so late-comers can get to class on time. Make faculty and staff park out in the sticks (they need the exercise). Organize carpools-no one on campus without at least three-other three-other people in the car Miscellaneous: Shoot the campus police. Convince the administration that there is a problem (by parachuting students onto the Park Bldg.) Write a letter to the Chrony. By Katherine Macfarlane One morning some weeks ago I put the solution of the campus parking problem to several dispondent individuals in my 8:50 a.m. education class. Now at 8:50 in the morning nobody is in any shape to be confronted with the campus parking problem, which may be why some of these suggestions seem to be touched with divine madness. But some of them sounded rather plausible. Especially the last one, which is how this article came to be written. The suggestions fell very roughly into the following categories: Make more parking space by: Building parking terraces with attendants to park the cars. Building underground parking terraces. Requiring all students to buy VW's (I think this guy's dad sells them). Figuring out a way to temporarily shrink cars. Allowing students to park on the lawn. Tearing up the lawns. Tearing down the Union Building (that dull roar you heard in the background was the Chrony staff). Have peripheral parking with transport to the inner campus by: Renting special University bikes (with red polka dots) to students. Building a monorail. Installing moving sidewalks, roofed over, heated and with two speeds for people in a hurry. Installing a subway system. Scheduling bus- trains or trolleys to the Park Bldg. Scheduling helicopters to the Fark Bldg. Experimenting in teleportation (Yeah, but you lose a lot of students that way). |