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Show NJO' (By the author of "Rally Round the Flag, Boys!", "Dobie Gillis," etc.) THERE ARE NO BAD TEACHERS; THERE ARE ONLY BAD STUDENTS The academic year has only just begun and already one thing is clear : you're not ready for college. What, then, should you do? Should you throw up your hands and quit? I say no ! I say you must attack, grapple, cope ! I say America did not become the world's leader in motel construction and kidney transplants by running away from a fight ! To the question then : You say you're not ready for college. col-lege. You're too green, too naive. You lack maturity. Okay, the answer is simple: get mature. How? Well sir, to achieve maturity you need two things : a) a probing mind; b) a vest. A probing mind will be quickly yours if you'll remember remem-ber that education consists not of answers but of questions. ques-tions. Blindly accepting information and dumbly memorizing data is high school stuff. In college you don't just accept. You dispute, you push, you pry, you challenge. chal-lenge. If, for instance, your physics prof says, "E equals mc squared," don't just write it down. Say to the prof, "Why?" This will show him two things : a) Your mind is a keen, thrusting instrument. b) You are in the wrong major. Ask questions, questions, and more questions. That is the essence of maturity, the heart and liver of education. Nothing will more quickly convince the teachers that you are of college calibre. And the tougher your questions, the better. Come to class with queries that dart and flash, that make unexpected sallies into uncharted territory. Ask things which have never been asked before, like "How tall was Nietzsche?" and "Did the Minotaur have ticks? If so, were they immortal?" and "How often did Pitt the El (Incidentally, you may never know the complete answer an-swer to Pitt the Elder's shaving habits, but of one thing you can be positive : no matter how often he shaved and no matter what blades he used, he never enjoyed the shaving comfort that you do. I am assuming, of course, that you use Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades, a logical assumption to make when one is addressing college col-lege men which is to say men of perspicacity, discrimination, discrimi-nation, wit, taste, cognizance, and shrewdness for Personna is a blade to please the perspicacious, delight the discriminating, win the witty, tickle the tasteful, coddle the cognizer, and shave the shrewd. (I bring up Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades because be-cause the makers of Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades pay me to write this column, and they are inclined in-clined to sulk if I omit to mention their product. I would not like to see them unhappy, the makers of Personna, for they are fine ruddy men, fond of morris dancing and home brewed root beer, and they make a blade that shaves closely and cleanly, nicklessly and hacklessly, and is sharp and gleaming and durable and available both in double-edge style and Injector style. (And from these same bounteous blademakers comes Burma-Shave, regular or menthol, a lather that out-lathers out-lathers other lathers, brother. So if you'd rather lather better, and soak your whiskers wetter, Burma-Shave's your answer.) But I digress. We have now solved the problem of maturity. In subsequent columns we'll take up other issues, is-sues, equally burning. Since 1953 when this column first started running in your campus paper, we've tackled such thorny questions as "Can a student of 19 find happiness hap-piness with an economics professor of 90?" and "Should capital punishment for pledges be abolished?" and "Are room-mates sanitary?" Be assured that in this, our 14th year, we will not be less bold. 1967, Max Shulman The makers of Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades (double-edge or Injector) and Burma-Shave (regular or menthol) are pleased (or apprehensive) to bring you another year of Max Shulman's uninhibited, uncen-sored uncen-sored column. I Vfef ;f Iff; I These U.S. Air Force officers are ly getting what they want out of life. J'l You can be one of them. $r J What are they doing? They are performing ning. While you serve your country, the a job of importance. Hour after hour. Year whole universe will open up to you. after year. Many of them will serve for 20 or There's a 2-year Air Force ROTC program, more years. The fruitful part of a man's life. and the 4-year program has new attractive Will yours be fruitful and creative? financial assistance provisions. Or just spent? Lots of men waste their working years. You're going to college to do something But you don't have to be one of them, constructive, important. And you can be sure ' , 1 of it, in the U. S. Air Force. united states air force i Start now in the Air Force ROTC program I Box A, Dept. CP-710 I on your campus. Your Professor of Aero- j Randolph Air Force Base, Texas 78148 I space Studies will explain the variety f career opportunities. Pilot. Navigator. Engi- j neering. Science. Administration. ; (please print) I If you get in on it, you get paid to be part , I of the most exciting technological break- , college : class I throughs of all time. You'll become a leader, I an officer in one of America's most vital j address ; organizations... the U. S. Air Force. You can be part of the Aerospace Age orv state zip J when things are most exciting. . .at the begin- . |