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Show MONTAGUE .... Writes of the "Ne'er Do Well's" Adventure Into Politics , Sip1 1 1 UfeJ iff- airt ifr.--'i..-"---: viie. "Cncle," He Says, "Those Fellers Is Crooks." By JAMES J. MONTAGUE sr T DON'T know what young I fellers is comin' to in this J country," said the old ward boss. "When I was a beginner in politics I didn't have no trouble gettin' along. I just joined the organization and done what I was told. I knew the big guys knowed what they was doin' or they wouldn't be where they was. AH I had was to ask 'em what they wanted did, and then do it. I had all the jack I needed when I was twenty-five or so, just by doin' the right thing by them that done the right thing by me. "But it ain't that way any more. There's my nephew Henry. He had a lot better chance than I ever had. I paid for his schoolin', an' then when he got an idea that he wanted to go to a college I sent him to the most expensive one there was in the place. An' when he come out, in-stid in-stid of havin' to hunt hisself a job I put him into a county office at a good salary for a boy. Of course it wasn't a fortune a week, but bein' a relation of mine I figgered he'd know what to do to make both ends meet. All the advice I give him was good. I says, 'Henry,' I says, 'these is reform times. It ain't like the days when I first got into politics. Nowadays you ain't supposed to sell the chairs out of the office to a second hand man, nor to pick a citizen's citi-zen's pockets while you're telling tell-ing him you can't be expected to do no favors for people for your health. Act in a way that'll make 'em see reason an' do the right thing. Just use your head lad, an' you'll git along all right.' " 'You ain't expectin' me to graft, are you Uncle?' he says. 'You don't mean you want me to do anything dishonest?" " 'That's the talk boy,' I says. 'They ain't no such thing as dishonesty dis-honesty in this organization. Everybody Every-body in it'll tell you that,' an' when he smiled I just figgered he was the wise little guy that I had supposed he was an' didn't need no more advice. ad-vice. "Well, sir, in about a week after the kid had went to work one of the big fellers in the organization comes to me an' says: 'What kind of a yap is that kid nephew of yours, refusin' buildin' permits without he could look at the specifications and go see if they was carried out. Does he think he's runnin' the ward or somethin?' " 'Leave him alone,' says I, re-memberin' re-memberin' that smile of his. 'He knows what he's doin'. He's one of us.' " 'Leave him alone, an' lose $30,- 000 on a buildin' job. You must have a pet contractor you're savin' it for.' " "Go away an' don't bother me. The kid's all right, I tell you.' "But I was a little nervous, so I dropped in to see the young feller an' asked him what was the trouble. trou-ble. " 'Uncle,' he says, 'those fellers is crooks.' " 'That ain't no way to talk about a good organization of men, boy," 1 told him. 'They gotta live like everybody else. Maybe they lost money on the last job they done, an' just want to make it up. You gotta got-ta be fair, son." " 'But I gutss you don't know what them fellers wanted to do. They wanted to violate the law. Uncle." Un-cle." " 'Well, the law is pretty tough. It can stand a lotta violations without with-out hurtin' it none. Live an' let live is our motto around here." " 'You mean to say I'm supposed to let them fellers put up rotten buildings and not say anything against it?" " 'Son, I'm trainin' you for politics. poli-tics. You're a smart boy an' you can be a big bird if you don't find out too much about what other fellers is doin". You go back to your job, an' let me do the woriyin'.' " 'Eut Uncle' "That's a'.l right boy. I'D send that feller to another man for his business, an' I'll have to transfer you to some place where you won't have to ask no questions.' "So I got him sent to another department, de-partment, an' the first thing I knowed he was mskin trouble again by insistin' that goods delivered to the city wasn't up to standard. This time he was steppin' on the corns of the big boss hisself, an' it was all I could do to get him put into a place where I thought he couldn't make no trouble. It was in the marriage license bureau. "An" pretty soon he was tellin' the reporters that come in there that one of the men in the place was soakin' the honeymooners from fifty bucks up for slippin' them licenses in a hurry, an' forcin' a ward boss to get terribly indignant over such an outrage an' loosin' a fat revenue by firin' the feller out. "It was pretty hard to square that, but I pull a pretty big stroke around the place, an' by an' by managed man-aged to get him located somewhere else, but at a smaller salary. An' then he goes to work an" snoops around and finds out that there are a lot of clerks in that department that just drop in once a month to get their pay an' then drop out again to attend to the private businesses busi-nesses they're in. "I never seen such a kid. Always pokin' his nosi into other people's business, an' half the time tellin' them reporters things they ain't expected ex-pected to know an' couldn't find out without inside help. "Well, I finally had to get rid of him. An' what do you think he done. He began writin' pieces for the papers about what was goin' on in some of the offices, an' pretty soon a big investigation was started, start-ed, an' if I hadn't been pretty wise they would have got me. "But even at that I figgered that blood was thicker than water, an' I couldn't let the kid be a bust, so I got him a job in another town, where the boss was a friend of mine. "And believe it or not, the first week he got there what did he do but organize a Young Man's Political Politi-cal guild, an' begin pinnin' trouble on the very bird that give him his job. "Now there's a feller for you. Ain't loyal to his organization, ain't loyal to his own uncle, ain't good for nothin" but to make trouble every ev-ery place he goes, an' on top of that to make 'trouble for the hands that has been feedin" him. "I don't know what's to become of the boys that's growin' up these days, but I do know that if many more of them are like him there won't be no more money in politics. An' if us fellers that's been born in the game an' brought up in it, and who keep our minds on it all the time, in an' out of elections, can't get ahead a little now an' then, what are we goin' to do to earn our livin's? "What's the kid doin' now? Why he's writin' a book about his experience experi-ence In political office, an' keepin' secret the name of the guy that's promised to publish it for him. I'd give half I've got to know what's inside in-side of it, for maybe when it comes out a lot of us will have to leave town, an' I'd like enough no-tic no-tic in advance to scram before there's a warrant out "An' I thought he was a good square honest boy, until I learned different." Bell Syndicate. WNU Service. |
