Show PUTTING EM OVER With Bugs Baer Copyright 1916 by the Press Publishing Publishing Publishing Pub Pub- lishing Co ONE pitcher can cin relieve 3 I another but nobody nobody nobody no no- body relieves the relieves the fans The Mexicans put all victims victims' out of their misery but the Athletics are letIn letting let let- ting ing theirs linger i Barney Dreyfus wants to Join the Pirates but is too young to retire from baseball All Les Lea wants is for three fights money to be deposited in a Canadian bank ank Well We'll give him and de deposit deposit deposit de- de posit the money in a Berlin erlln bank Charley White stopped an Englishman i ithe the other day and no doubt the kaiser i would give a no m million for r the recipe Oh We must chirp ef Nick Cullop Who Vho is beating all foes to a a. He lie aint lost losta a game When the foes see his name Tty immediately holler for Key KeY Pulp LOTT MOORE Help Often a manager makes an addition to his team and finds it was subtraction Joe Gedeon was WItS hitting Now ow Joe is hitting lIDon l I Mex Mci Don a a. sport shirt before swimming and anda a man eating sl shark will pass you up Even two straight wrestlers will win throw each other down The umpire who blew the Pot Potomac mac maclea lea league e to enlist for Mexican service evidently evi evl dently figured it was a short step from bottles to battles Philadelphia Jack OBrien O'Brien anno announces he heIs heis heis is going to do an Enoch Arden and is looking for an opponent With about six months of ot rehearsals the bout should go CO big DAILY HOROSCOPE Soothsayers regard this as an uncertain day dav but the balance of ot Influence is good Is favorable but Is ad- ad verse Stars foreshadow a divergence of opinIon opinion opinion ion concerning balls balls' and strikes and it Isa is isa isa a poor day to throw a brick at a a. wed- wed ding The planets p warn arn against ha hasty ty action by Judge Landis in handing down hi his hla Walter valter Johnson decision The bean ball is losing favor The batter batter bat bat- ter doesn't mind using his head but he hates nates to have ha the pitcher use ulle it IL Been a tough winter thit this summer for tor forWalter forWalter Walter Johnson SHORT LECTURE This has been a very poor year In SLy St. St Looey looe y and Cincinnati for fans wh who dont don't seem to be as morbid as they used to be Attendance t 1 Is falling I off like k music s lovers lot lov lm nt ee Js er ers era when the little German e a band ad passes the hat Unless the fans report for ticket practice practice practice tice more frequently It looks as I If the Cards and Reds will make Lieutenant Shackleton look like a blooming northerner north north- erner Clark Griffith hasn't yet claimed the 1917 pennant but we wouldn't trust him himan an any further than we could throw a piano If It thy they can make a champion out of Charley Chancy Weinert guess gnus we ought to be beable beable beable able to make a Jockey out of Jess Jus Willard VI I ATHLETIC AILMENTS Rubber Imagination This Imagination This elastic epidemic epidemic epidemic epi epi- epi- epi demic affects fishermen on only and Is ill easily I recognized b b b- the eccentric gyration gyrations of 1 the truth troth accompanied h h extreme vacillation vacillation tion don of the th original rt Th The vic iI victim vie vie- Urn tim pages a 1 t two inch wo- wo Inch trout in ID a a. the lye mil mil- lion acre lake with a one-inch one worm and succeeds in catching a lot of vacant boots and untenanted tomato cans lIe He th then n escapes from the guards ards and starts home hom By the time he reaches the corner grocery grocery grocery gro gro- cery the two-inch two trout is a six-foot six walrus walrus walrus wal wal- rus and when he gets home the six-foot six walrus is a a. monster porpoise At At theoffice theoffice the theoffice office next day the porpoise has graduated graduated graduated into a leviathan and is still 1 growing growing grow grow- ing l like a Dupont powder e town The 8 enJo only cure e is s assassination n and massacre massacre- Ing taken In intermittently er ida I want to be a yachtsman i m And with it a yachtsman stand nd Stranded on the harbor bar A schooner in my hand T want to be a yachtsman a ht man S SAnd And with tho tire yachtsmen squat Commander of a crew of chefs And sail an Cant Can't t see how Bat Levinsky v can fed engage d In 1000 1 fights before he retires le leau au unless fe he e takes up baseball Sharks are getting unusually bold in inthis inthis this neck o 0 the woods Cut one open the theother theother theother other day and found an auto of a abut sm but popular U type SUMMER RESORTS A summer resort is the last resort Summer resorts and summer not A man manwill will go 50 to a ft summer resort willingly but hed he'd get sore It if a Judge sent him hint there A summer resort will resort to anything You always have running water in your room if Il the roof leaks It is so hot at summer resorts that the hens lay hard boiled l e eggs Impossible 8 to f figure why p people peo peo- f tl vp pie go o to summer resorts when they v can stay home and help the cat to starve to death I When hen Nick Cullop pitches Donovan can I let Farmer armer Old Oldring ring while the afternoon Way away raising wh wheat in the he outfield Pale boxers arent aren't showing much in inclination Inclination inclination In- In to meet any of those heavy dark weights A punch in the beak Isa is isa isa a clout on the nose in any color SHOULD RUN WELL TODAY FIRST RACE Horse a. a aid Jockey Odds Villa 1 1 SECOND RACE Perspiration Heet 1000 1 THIRD TillED RACE Brew 1 FOURTH RACE HACE 1 Levinsky Dillon 1 Until they started swat the fly I surely was a happy guy I snoozed well every ery night but now a a. fly sure makes me rue squirm I know that he conceals a germ I swat em left and nd right 1 swat em emd morning night Sand and noon April ri August l ti May and d June and still they multiply u I punch a fly right in the face and two cousins take his place you ou cant can't insult a fly Three billion lead dead is now mv my score but still those flies lies come como back to for foi- more the they wont won't concede defeat I find them in my current cake and swat them till my muscles ache they tango on the meat Although I am not one to carp I do not want a golden olden harp if flies are angels too When the grim reaper calls caUs my turn Ill I'll go south where flies will wilt burn and wait walt in peace for you ANSWERS TO A Tibbie A tennis champion Is la somebody somebody somebody some some- body who puts all tennis winnings In his wife's name Mexican Mexican campaign will be bemore bemore bemore more hysterical than titan historical A A nautical man generally uses language Vim You You per You can catch a pickerel by skittering You can get at any good store Government Government has released all nil married men on the Mexican border The married men made some disparagIng ing remarks about It being a a. picayune little bachelors' bachelors war Kallup Kallup-He Kallup He bats with one foot In the water bucket to keep his corns soft Wouldn't Kewpie-WOuldn't Wouldn't say that Levinsky has fought Dillon nine times timeR although he has been in the ring nine times with I Dillon A A Quaker believes In turning the other cheek chek which is the reason all aft their light weights have cauliflower ears elUS They They cut open a shark and and found a fil er Wlm Somebody r-Somebody Is ia h tou Connie Macks Mack's rookies wont won't be bl mere mero boys for a Jew years yet e eiITh Bummer Either Bummer Either take a headache pow now der or go to see Bonesetter Reese full If set get a If friend you are to e ball bail arrested r yo you e Ou out for for g beIng |