Salt Lake Telegram | 1915-06-27 | Page 10 | How it Feels to be-" Homeliest Man"

How It Feels To Be- Be HOMELIEST I HowIt THE Be THE MAN I 1 S c Rh 1 v YA t 1 f fI fI fI I I I r I J I v ec 41 i I 1 I I r t y m Z r 0 Detective William Mertz Mem By William Villiam e. e r rAM T AM the homeliest man I 1 I learned it at the fir firemans fireman's mans carnival at Bloomfield N. N when J.-when J. J fr frienda nde who had known me from childhood entered my name my-name name in a popularity co contest test i and md gave me a prize for being the homeliest man among forty other contestants r The blow w wits was something awful H Until that moment I had bad supposed that I was wae looking good looking good even beautiful Prior to that day my son eon had taken pride in declaring that he looked like father ather Now he insists that he resembles his hia mother Had it not been for the Ute prize the fame and the reporters I might never have recovered from the shock Now I am resigned resigned almost almost cheerful I am convinced of one important fact It pays to be homely I t If you doubt that statement just listen while I tell you the story o of t my life r Beauty runs in our family I was the youngest of eight children so it is possible that a good deal of or it ran away before beCore I was horn My personal opinion however is that my present fame as a homely man is due to an over abundance c of beauty when a child My earliest recollection is of a circle of looking good-looking relatives standing about my cradle making remarks about my looks They said I was good natured too s' s Folks have been saying that ever since t That is why I I. I got the homely mans man's prize If It I had not been good natured no one would have dared give it to me There is another other compensation Ive I've got a beautiful wife I used to wonder why she chose me instead of one of the other fellows When I asked her she said it was because of my 1001 looks 1 8 Now isn't that enough to make any man think he was a champion good looker Do you wonder I was shocked when they called me a homely man Another thing I used to wonder about was how I happened to be such a r success S SS as a detective AH AU I have to do Is to look at a thief and he stands still in his tracks I caught a murderer once once came came up stealthily behind and nabbed l him When he turned around he just gave a gasp and confessed on the spot I It was after that that they made me president of the Police Bo Be i Association I 1 Homeliness s must have helped me mo a lot Jot all nil the e way v through life II iti Everybody was good to me 1 School teachers pet petted d me i t Sunday School teachers gave me prE presents J. J V The boys never thrashed me Girls were fond of me 5 I I Ev Everybody in Bloomfield rejoiced when 5 I became old cn enough u h to 10 hold a 1 job jobin r. r in a city department j jAt At least that was my impression for they rented the largest hall In town loan and gave me a surprise party on my twenty-first twenty birthday 9 f Naturally I am a very modest person I have never sought fame nor renown That is why I am willing you should publish my picture From it it people from t the Atlantic t to td the Pacific may muy decide for lor themselves whether or not the thc judges judge j 1 made a mistake when they ar a awarded cd me a prize as the homeliest man 1 The m moVe mote Te I 1 think of it the prouder I am over the distinction that has singled t me out from among the multitude It n must be a great hardship to be merely one of many No one sill ever mistake me for f r any anyone one else I am a prize winner winner the the theman t man who put Bloomfield N N. J J. on the ma map p. p