Show i I Hall a League Lei ue Is Better leer Than None at All Dawn the Barber Has His Own Idea Concerning Concerning Con Con- Peace By Jay Jay Did you OU get a glimpse ot of that curly haired youth who was going out just justas as you ou came in asked Jawn th the e barber ot of a regular customer The latter confessed that he His face Is about as hairy as a gooseberry's s said Jawn but h he e shaves regularly three times a wee week k just the same I 1 put In the same time on him as I 1 do on a stiff beard Z 1 guess I 1 must have offended him though I didn't intend to for he never said So long as Is his custom He told me he was going to Alaska soon and wanted to know It if I 1 believed hed he'd ever be able to grow a beard After examining examining- his face a bit I 1 said No I 1 hardly think you can odd he said rather father grows a tremendous s beard That may be I 1 said but bu t maybe you take after your mother He never said a word after that an and d 1 suppose I 1 must have hurt his feel feel- Ings He has a brother just a trifle older than himself only with thicker an and d curlier hair Last week weel for some Unaccountable unaccountable un- un accountable reason this brother was wa s married to a stout healthy county country y girl from Goshen He presented such sucha a feminine appearance that the mit- mit Ister In the county clerks clerk's office who was asked to unite them In matrimony said I dont don't want to make any mistake mis- mis take about this business Which of you is the bride I Hair makes a wonderful difference I In a persons person's appearance doesn't it said the customer I HAIR TURNS WHITE It does that that replied Jawn I I once knew a young oung lady whose hair turned white In a single night he con con- I You dont don't tell me said the cus- cus tomer How strange How do you ou account for tor such a phenomenon She fell Into a flour barrel answered answered an- an Jawn with a hearty laugh Is that a joke asked the customer No No just a little humor a sort of an antidote to the calamity howling Ive I've heard since the league ot of nations was proposed replied Jawn Do you believe In a league of nations nations na- na Im sorter mixed up on the question question ques- ques tion said Jawn After hearing some of the political ward heelers and wiseacres shoot off their mouths while getting barbered I fancy Im I'm for it then again after listening to others toot their horns Im I'm not so stuck on It I HALF A LEAGUE I do think though that half a league is bettor bett r than no league at all as the fellow said about the loaf of bread I Tennyson expresses my views Dont Don't you recall where he says Half Hal a league half a league I Halt half a league onward my sentiments exactly said said Jawn If President Wilson finds he cant can't put the whole thing through he should try and get one The world will never progress far enough to believe be- be lieve that a mans man's black eye was caused by anything else than somebody's somebody's some some- body's fist Did that man you had the row with recently over the cent 4 peace tax go and see Peanut Pietro of The Telegram Tele- Tele gram Inquired the customer I Yes s he did and Pietro came up dt arJe to see me about b it said Jawn W You Y h Pietro likes me I 1 once gave I him im a stick silo of black cosmetic to wax his mustache with and besides I told him he Is you ou know that tha t baldness Is not simply loss of hair as I is vulgarly supposed but Is caused b by y I th excess of cerebral energy which t force the skull through and causes It t to grow above the hair That little stunt ot of mine pleased him Immensely I I He always waits walts to get into my chair now He gets his funny f from me that is I 1 furnish him th the e ideas The oth other r day I 1 told him about a gang of Italian laborers out at Garfield Garfield Gar Gar- field who were cut down 50 cents a day and Pietro nearly died laughing over It Instead ot of striking the italians cut an Inch oft off their shovel blades at night They were asked what It meant On One ot of the men replied Not so much a apay pay not so much lift lIrt Alright job lasta the more long Italians no n foe tol he no I Pietro wanted me continued continue d I Jawn to put up a sign to in the shop reading like this Not Vot you I shava you ou for I And geeva you a Did you have the sign made inquired inquired in- in the customer Certainly not not replied Jawn It would have ha been all right before prohibition prohibition pro pro- but not now Do you know said Jawn in a solemn tone ot of voice that a member ot of the purity squad told me the other day that Salt Lake and Ogden were so rigidly temperate these days that they I object to storms brewing In the neighborhood neighborhood neigh neigh- |