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Show ORATORY OF STATESMEN FAILS TO DECIDE 1 QUESTION BALD HEADS VS. WHISKERS as those that adorn th chin or cheat of tha former senator from Montana. I claim that whiskers are unsanitary, and I appeal to Ua timekeeper to uphold Ositor Fitle Bald Bead. Senator Carter was Introduced a "Exhibit "Ex-hibit A" for th whlsksrs. "No man." said bs. "sver voluntarily wore a bald head. A bald head Is an affliction, a standinc Joks. a physical Infirmity. In-firmity. We pity, but do not blame, our opponents." . Senator Carter Insisted that the "beard" was ths real thin. "No fair-maiden," he said, "sver doubted doubt-ed a promise from a bearded man. The beard le a badge of manhood. A bearded man needa only opportunity. The first man to cut off beards waa Alexander the Great. "It waa a bruts measure of warfare to prevent antaonlsts from seisins the soldiers sol-diers by tha beard. Let us all wear beards and there will be no more warfare In this troubled world of ours. "There Is another thlnr about the bald-headed bald-headed man. He naturally roe to prison WASHUjQTON. May 4. Whether whiskers whis-kers are a sreater detriment ta a man than a bald head la still a mooted question. ques-tion. Four of the ablest msn la public life debated the subject before the National Na-tional Press club laat nlstit. The bout waa under Marquis of Queeneberry rules, and when the bell rans the referee threw up hie band In deepalr. The bald-headed elde of the question wse In the hands of Senstor Robert L. Tavlor of Tennessee, and Rspreeentatlve Nicholas Lonsrworth of Ohio. The chin curtains found their champion In former B'nator Carter of Montana and "Uncle Joe" Cannon of Illinois. - Messrs. Taylor and Lonrworth entered the rln emld cheers. Their hslrlsss domes sparkled beneath the radiance of myriads of electric lights. Senator Carter Car-ter and "Uncle Joe" came with their whiskers combed for the fray. The shouts that meeted them - erere deafentne. "Fur rood" Wiley Timekeeper. "Dr. Purofood" Wiley of trie department depart-ment of asTlculture was chosen as timekeeper. time-keeper. nd each contestsnt was allowed ten minutes. Scott C. Bone repreeented the press club es referee during : hostilities, hostili-ties, but rave .way to Speaker Clark at ""Representative Lomrworth. . th first . speaker., said he did not believe that a V hair an te head was --worth- two on ths chin. Neither was he willing to assume that bald head provided he should be considered bald was In any senss a handicap han-dicap althsr In public or In private life. Mr. Longworth claimed that on his blrth-dsv blrth-dsv every man hae a choice between heir snd brains. His cholos. he said, waa apparent! . "The conditions of the disputants on ths other slds Is utterly Inexcusable, asserted Mr. Longworth. "In olden dsys whiskers were excussbls they were sworn y but nowadays they are only sworn at. . , , . "There Is no excuse for such whiskers without prevloua preparation, l ne auo-Ject auo-Ject le ready for the work. It takee some trouble to prepare a bearded man for that unfortunate habitation." Senator Taylor Introduced aa an "Ivory noted Moses of the Tennessee Democracy." Democ-racy." eald that when Mr. Cannon was speaker of the house, hs shook pestilence end war from his horrid beard. Hs dwelt upon the ability of the bald peaks of ths mountains and the bald heads of the American eagle circling about them In the aaure atmosphere. Coming down to bald facts, hs added: Taylor's Contempt for Whisker. "Once I had raven trees es." he said wlstfuUy, "but like autumn leaves they left me. Ever since I lost them I hsvs hsd a horror of hair and supreme contempt con-tempt for whiskers. On ths other hand. I have always admired a bald head aa a symbol of purity and Innocence." Uncle Joe Cannon said he had never been funny In his life at least not consciously con-sciously so quoted front a writer who recently wee in Turkey and who said ths saddest man he found In the empire had a bald bead. He was the harem guard. Whsn Speaker Clark was called upon to settle the dlsputs. hs Insisted that the reason a majority of men no longer wear whlakere was bersiise they were all trying try-ing to look like William Jennings Bryan. He rather rapped the whlekerltss when he said a good-looking maa could afford to have a emooth face while fa ugly one hsd better keep his beard. "Observe, gsntlsmsn." hs concluded, "that I have a emooth face." |