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Show ; When Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones, who do not apeak ainee Mrs. . Jones understood Mrs. Smith to say hearts were wild whereas in reality clubs were wild, passed on the street yesterday, yes-terday, Honkus Jg-Iff dashed in to report that at last ha hid discovered tha "coolest spot in town." Pilot of one-man car is accused 'of alapping the wrist of a kindly old gent who, f seeing him make change, issue transfers, stop the esr and open the doors at the same time, said, "My, I guess it keeps you busy, don't it." Streetcar mechanics are still talking about the bulge found V in the back end of a South FourtlTEast car last night. It is rumored that the company proposes to use giant pile- driver for , loading care at 6 p. m. ' Two dauntless heroes yesterday yes-terday WTOte their names on the scroll of fame. One is John JL BnllingbuU, hailed as the only man in history who. L erer won an argument irom his wife. The other immortal is Alonxo Goof, who took a batch of bills from the mail box one blue Monday and smiled! WHY I Wat TO BE MAYOR. By Rufue Roughneck . The) Boy Who Knows How It's Done. T was difficult for ma to decide between a enreer as Kins of the "Ht-jarckero and Mayor of Bait Iake. On Inveetlg-atlon 1 found that while considerable honor may lie In the former office), tho possibilities pos-sibilities for acquiring a fortune sra greater In tha Utter. Bo I made my pick. If you will acaji tha police news of tho pact quarter century you : will find that I am eminently ' qualified to semre the public. I have put the major portion of my life In the pubUo awrrice. working diligently many years without pay. City, county, state and federal administrations hare felt the weight of my responsibility. I have served, all told, some coven - tha city Jail, one year In i tha . county jail, ten month. In th. Wetata prlaon. alsht year, tn Ft. ' Leavenworth and nnmaroa. other Jolts th. detail, of which I have forgotten. My eiperlenc. has ranged from oxecutlv. paaltlona auch as trusty and bam foreman at tha aula prison to th. judiciary as msglstrate of th. kangaroo court. That I hav. a perauaalve imraonsllty Is prorsn by th. osaa with which I sot by th. Board of Pardons after aervlng only tan month, of a twenty-year bit for ft ret degre. mttrder of which I we. obviously fftillty. - Bond tn. to city halt sad t win give you plenty of reaaona for eendlng m. back to th. can. Mora later. ... Ablf THI SIREN. Chapter fUS. fWHAI HAS OOKB BrTTORB: Rsdla, a delicate llttl. creature, who never pick, on anyone not her elaa. haa deddad to hunt big gajn. In Africa. Sir Fat Xuelue. fiherlff Harry and Sambo, chief guide snd ermpahooter. are tha members nf th. brave llttl. pertv. NOW GO OS WITH THE STORT.) Eadl. aat'T mnnens4 a lollypop as she marcelled her eyebrowa. Uttle did ahe know what would befall her In that far off land. "Company, attention! gh. ootn-msnded ootn-msnded In a surly ton. nf fan. "rJqua.de left!" Thus did an. "commsnd follow another. tin. th.y ain't left y.t boss,' said Samba, "they're atlll here." Had ba not been such a eplendld rrapehooter Sadl. would have be. ned him. Am It was sh. bought s bottle of mucilage and pasted htm good. Aa they clambered aboard their sirplan. thay waved a merry goodby. to th. aaaamblad hobo who had gathered to watch them. As they took off th. hobo agraad that th. whol. trip waa a takeoff. But eoon th. whirr of snoth.r airplane waa hoard. Rudolph Haaaenpf offer, tha villain, vil-lain, ami pursued them. (Next atop Africa.) AMgJUCAM AnrVKWATIOV. Woe. Loot. Pel. ' Pant '. 41 It .414 Xaneea City 41 IT .111 Loalavllle IT 41 1.441 Colembue .... ......II 41 .114 lndlanepelte ... ....41 II .411 Mllwaakae ....41 II .III Hlnneapeue 41 It .414 Toledo ' II II .141 TaeSaeday-e Bssalaa, At Toledo ' B. H. B. Milwaukee ... a u j Toledo .. 4 14 4 Batteries Pott and Shlaaalt: Plnae-raa Plnae-raa and Switb. fThlrtooa laalaga) At Leelevllle B. H. B ktleneepolle .,. ......4 11 I Lealevtlle f s Betterlee MeOrew. genauer and Ora-eewakl. Ora-eewakl. Mayw; Daea aad Meyer. f At ledlanapolla Sc Pedl-radiaaapelle raaae peelsseed; wet gremede. At eleatbea Kaaea. T "1 Ills! SI l.aia peeteeewd; rale. WEBTBBSf LEAOCB. "an. l.eL Pet. wtrhlta ... 11 si ,4ti relea 44 41 .4IT Ihlahofna HP r 41 4T .4.4 eo MeUMa ...... ...It la .tit mailt . II II .414, . Jeeenel 11 44 Ilf 'one Ity II 41 .1711 ayer 44 TS . .144 1 TeeKidai-a BeeaHa. j Ha .aajes eabeditied. .. I ' ' ' ' ' ' |