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Show - S III ' - " 1 I ' '' ' HI l- I. I 1 i S SSSaaasaaaSSaS. Terry Crew Frail Rivals For Yankees By HENRY lrLEMOKR t nitrd l'rrs Mparts WriUr NKW YUHK. Oct. a-Tha aoclety fr the prevention of cruelty to ceond iUii ball clubs, at an emer-Kncy emer-Kncy meeting today, took draatic .-reps to aid the benighted New ik Giants In their alleged world si-nes "battlaM with tha Yankees. Terming tha treatment of the Giants by the Yanks In the first two names as one of tha most flagrsnt lases of abase in the history of the pastime, the society drew up a plan tiling for the handicapping of tha American leaguers in the remaining remain-ing games. This plan will be pre-si-nted to Judge Landis with tha p!ea that ha put it into effect Immediately. Im-mediately. It was reported that tha plan will be accompanied by a petition pe-tition signed twice by all the giants ixcent Relief Pitchers Coffman. Gumbert and Smith. These players signed it three times. The suggested handicaps for tha 1 ankees include: 1. A Lrtltrh In managers, with Trrry running the Vanks and -Mc-(a,rthy the Giants. To dale Terry's strategy has bers so fantastic that even the Brooklyn Dodger scouts have quit taking note. And when yeu de something that the daffl-ness daffl-ness boys won't use you reached the ultimate, with a capital IL 2. Give the Giants a complimentary complimen-tary three-bagger at tha start of each inning. This move might possibly pos-sibly bring the score up to 8 to 2. I. Allow the Giants relief pitchers to use starting blocks In their aprints from the bull pen. As it is, they are slow getting off the mark and before they ran reach the scene of action the Yanks have belted another hit off the starting pitcher. Speaking of "starting" pitchers, that's an apt nams for the Giant aces, isn't it? 4. Hequlre all Yankee lnfielders to wear hip boots and carry papooses pa-pooses on their backs. S. Require Joe DiMagglo to discard dis-card his bat and swing with a (1) rotary ean epener, (2) live roostrr, or a starched collar, sisrd M'i. 6. Play a double-header today and put the Giants out of their misery. 7. Eliminate the Yankee halves of the fourth, fifth and sixth innings. in-nings. t. Toison the water in the Yankee Yan-kee dugout fountain. i. Lat the Yankee wives play for their husbands the first three innings, in-nings, and give them but two outs. 10. Substitute a spelling bee for today's game. If Judge randis adopts these suggeations the Giants might poanihly carry the series to five games. Otherwise, it'll all end on Saturday, and the fans who paid for srata will have seen the moat one-aldcd, boring series In history. To snow you how the customers feci, let me tell you a conversation conversa-tion 1 overheard in section 21 of the mezzanine yesterday: One fan. reading his paper, read aloud an item where a prison warden, war-den, to punish his prisoners for mis-coniiuct. mis-coniiuct. told them that they would not be allowed to listen to the world series games on the radio. The other fan thought a moment and then replied: "There they go, coddlin' those damn convicts again!" The games have been dulL Today's To-day's probably will be duller, with the Yankees winning, 9 to a, after knocking out Schumacher before the finish of the fourth inning. Don't ask me how I know this. ' It's a gift. |