Salt Lake Telegram | 1949-05-21 | Page 3 | Wives Warned to Steer Clear of Almost Total Dependency

Your Marriage Wives Warned to Steer Clear Of Almost Total Dependency B By Samuel G G. and Esther B. B Kling I Q Can a wife become too dependent dependent dependent de de- deI I pendent on her husband A. A Yes Mr B B. B came canie to us us with the complaint that his wife was so dependent on him for companionship companionship companionship com com- and guidance that it made him miserable Though Mrs B B. raised no objections objections objections ob ob- ob- ob to his going out alone for foran foran foran an evening he knew that she was lost without him And on the occasions when he had to go out of town on business she would go about in a state of suspended animation until his return It had reached the point paint that he felt guilty guilt every time he had to leave her for she had no interests aside from him Ve We agreed with Mr B B. that it was not a healthy state of affairs and suggested that he send Mrs B. B in to see us When we saw Mrs B B. we found her to be a pleasant attractive woman in her middle thirties Discussion revealed that before her marriage she had held a aI I responsible position and had enjoyed enjoyed enjoyed en en- joyed an active social life She readily admitted that she now lived only for and through her husband whom she adored We Vc told Mrs B. B that while it was natural and desirable for partners to be dependent on each other its it's always a mistake for forone forone I Ione one partner to go to extremes It weights the other down with a sense of responsibility that can only cause unhappiness At tho the same time being overly dependent on someone is detrimental to ones one's own personality growth We Ve explained that it was important important important im im- im- im to cultivate other interests and activities which would deflect deflect deflect de de- some of her absorption in her husband and make her life meaningful even when he wasn't there We Vc suggested further that an occasional trip without her partner would help to make her herto to more self And by all means she was to begin making her own decisions on matters that didn't actually concern her husband hus hus- band Mrs B. B promised to try our suggestions and were we're happy to re report report report re- re port that the change in her marriage marriage marriage mar mar- is all for the better Q Can courtship persist in marriage A. A Courtship as such cant can't continue in marriage and you really wouldn't want it to If the uncertainty and the emotional confusion of courtship persisted after marriage the thc chances are you wouldn't be happy As a matter matter mat mat- ter of fact many cases of marital marital marital mari mari- tal unhappiness are due to the I partners' partners attempt to duplicate their courtship days But some of the elements clements of romance courtship courtship romance optimism and gaiety gaiety can can and should re re- main Where they do the marriage marriage marriage mar mar- is tremendously enriched