| Show Telegram Fiction Th Thank 11 Y You au Jeeves J eeves I By P. P ouse G. G a I I I I CHAPTER Not At All AH Sir Its uns a point Jeeves I was bound to say The constabulary might not bc be able ablo to do anything definite but the they would talk taU about it and before we where we were the story would be out that Sir Roderick had been roaming around with his face blacken up The local paper would get hold of at it One of those writers gossip you find at the Drones always waiting with their ears cars flapping for good stuff about the eminent would hear of it and then wo we should be bo just as lis badly off as if the old boy went and picked oakum at Dartmoor or ur somewhere for tor years years No uNo sir The officers would find finda a prisoner in the shed I would nd- nd substituting you for Sir Roderick Rod- Rod erick crick k I 1 stared at the man Me It is vital if I h may be allowed to point it out sir that a black- black faced prisoner be found in the shed when the moment arrives for the accused d to be conducted before his lordship But I dont don't look like old Glossop Were We're built bunt on different lines Me Me- Me slender and willowy him him him- well I dont don't wish to say anything derogatory concerning one who is bound to the aunt of an old friend by ties tics warmer than those of Well what Im I'm driving at is that you couldn't by any stretch of th the imagination call him slender and willowy You are forgetting sir that only Constable Dobson has actually seen seen the prisoner his lips as I 1 say will willbe willbe be seal scaled d. d It waS was true I l' had forgotten that Yes but Jeeves dash it anxious as I am to bring aid and comfort to this stricken home Im I'm not so bally keen on doing five years years' in the he jug for burglary I I There is no danger of ot that sir The building into which Sir RoderIck RoderIck Roder- Roder Ick ck was breaking at the moment of his arrest was your own garage But Jeeves Reflect Consider Review the position Am I 1 supposed to 0 have allowed myself to be pinched pinch- pinch ed d for tor breaking into my own garage and nd shut up in a shed all night without without with- with out ut saying a a word It isn't what Is it it isn't plausible It lIt is only necessary to induce Sergeant to believe it sir air What the constable may think is Immaterial owing to the fact that his ils lips Ups are scaled sealed But wouldn't believe it for or a a. minute Oh yes sir I fancy that he is under the impression that hat it is a frequent practice of yours to sleep in n sheds Chuffy uttered a glad cry Of Ot course Hell He'll just take It It for granted that yo youve you've ve been mopping it t up again I was frigid Oh I l said and and OU couldn't have described my voice as anything an- an any any- thing but caustic So I 1 am am- to go godown godown down own in the history of ot Regis Regis' as one of our lea leading ling dipsomaniacs dipsomaniacs dipsomaniacs maniacs He may just think him potty suggested Pauline Thais right said Chuffy He turned t to o me mg pleadingly Bertie he e said you arent aren't going to tell me meat meat met at t this time of day that you have any ny objection to being considered ii JJ Mentally negligible said said Pauline Exactly said Chuffy Of course you'll do it What Bertie Bertic Wooster Sacrifice himself toa to a little temporary ary ry Inconvenience to save his friends ncnds Vh Why he jumps at that sort of f job Springs at it said Pauline Paulinc Leaps at it said Chuffy Ive always thought he was a afine afine aine fine ine young fellow fellow- said old Stoker X I 1 remember thinking so the first time ime I met him So did I said Lady So So different from so many of these modern young yo men men menI I liked his face I X have always li liked ed his face My head was vas swimming a bit It t isn't often I X get as good a Press Pressas as s this and the old ld salve was beginning beginning be- be ginning to unman me mc I tried feebly to to o stem the tide 1 I Yes but listen listen I was at nt school with Bertie Wooster ooster said Chuffy I like t to think of ot it A private school and also at Eton and after that at Ox Ox- ford He was vas loved by everybody Because of his wonderful unselfish unselfish unselfish fish nature asked Pauline Youve absolutely hit it Because of at his wonderful unselfish nature Because when it was a question of helping a pal he would go through fire and water to doso do so I wish I 1 had hada a a. quid for every time Ive I've seen him tRIce tike the tho blame for dy else's dirty work on his own broad should should- ers era How v splendid said Pauline Just what Id I'd havo have expected of at him said old Stoker Just said Lady The child is the father of the man man You could see see him face a furious headmaster with a sort of oC dauntless dauntless daunt dauntless less look in those big blue eyes eyes eyes' of ot his I held up a hand Enough Chuffy I 1 said Suf Sufficient SuffIcient Sufficient I will wilt go through with this ghastly ordeal But one one word When I come com out do I 1 get breakfast 1 You get the best breakfast Hall can provide I eyed him searchingly Kippers Schools of Kippers Toast 1 Mounds of toast And coffee 1 Pots I inclined the head Well Veil mind I 1 do do I 1 said Come Jeeves I am ready to accompany you Very good sir If I might be permitted permitted permitted per per- to make malce an observation observation- nYes n- n Yes Jeeves It is a a far far better thing that you do than you have ever done sir Thank you Jeeves As Isaid I said before there is nobody who puts these things more neatly than he docs does The sunlight poured into the small morning room of ot Hall It played upon me sitting at ata a convenient table on Jeeves hovering hoverIng hovering hov hov- ering in the the background on the skeletons of ot four kippered herrings on a pot coffee and on an empty toast rack I poured myself out t the e final drops of coffee and sipped thoughtfully Recent events had set their seal upon me and it was a graver more mature Bertram Wooster who now eyed the toast rack and nd finding nothing there transferred his gaze to the man an in attendance the cook at the Hall now Jeeves A woman of the tho name of ot Perkins Perkins Per Per- kins sir She dishes up a 0 nifty breakfast Convey my compliments compliments' to her Very good sir I touched the cup to my lips Ups All this is rather like Bice the gentle sunshine after the storm Jeeves Extremely like sir And it was quite a storm what whal Very trying at times Umes sir Trying frying is the mot juste Jeeves I was Vas thinking of ot my own trial at that very moment I flatter myself that I am a strong man Jeeves J eeves t I t am not easily moved by lifes life's untoward untoward untoward un un- toward happenings But Im I'm bound to confess that it was an an unpleasant experience coming up before Chuffy Chaffy I 1 was nervous nervo s and embarrassed A good deal of the the awful majesty of the Law about old Chuffy I didn't know he wore rimmed horn-rimmed spectacles spec spec- When acting as Justice of the Peace invariably I understand sir I gather that tha his lordship finds finds that they lend him confidence in his magisterial duties Well I I think some sonic one ought to have haye warned me I got a n. nasty shock They change his whole ex ex- Make him look just like my Au Aunt t Agatha It was only by reminding myself that he and I had once stood in the th-e same dock together together together to to- gether at Bow Street charged with raising Cain on Boat Race night that I was enabled to maintain my sang froid frold However the unpleasantness unpleasantness unpleasantness was short I must admit admit admit ad ad- mit he rushed things through nice and quickly He soon settled Dobson's Dobson's Dobson's Dob- Dob sons son's hash hah what Yes sir A rather severe reprimand 1 1 thou thought ht Well phrased sir And Bertram dismissed without a stain on his character Yes sir But with Police Sergeant firmly convinced that he ho is either cither an Inveterate souse or a n. congenial loony Possibly both However I X proceeded turning from the dark side it Is no use worrying about that thal One cannot make an without breaking eggs Jeeves Very true sir The main point is that once again you have shown that there is no crisis which you are unable to handle A very smooth effort J Jeeves eeves Exceedingly smooth I X could have affected nothing without your our cooperation sir Tush Tusk Jeeves I was a mere pawn in the game Oh no sir Yes Jeeves I 1 know my place But theres there's just one thing Donl Dont think for tor a moment that I 1 want to detract from the merit of your performance but you you did have a abit abit abit bit of luck what hat Sir Well that cable happening to come along in what you might call the very nick of at time A fortunate coincidence iNo No sir I 1 had anticipated its arrival What In In the cable which I to my friend Benstead in New York the day before yesterday I urged him to lose no time in ing the message which formed the body of my communication You dont don't mean to say say Immediately after aCter the rift had occurred between Mr Stoker and Sir Roderick Glossop involving asit as asit asit it did the formers former's decision not to purchase Hall and the consequent unpleasantness to his lordship and Miss Stoker the des des- patching of ot the cable to Benstead suggested itself to me as a possible solution I surmised that the news that the late Mr Stockers Stocker's will was being contested would lead to a reconciliation between our Mr Stoker and Sir Roderick And theres there's nobody contesting the will really t No sir But what about when old Stoker finds out I feel eel convinced that his natural relief will overcome any possible resentment at the artifice And he has already signed the necessary do documents relating to the sale saJe of ot Hall Hall So that even If It hes he's as sick as mud he cant can't do a thing Exactly sir I fell into a moody silence Apart from astounding me this revelation had had the effect of engendering a poignant anguish I 1 mean to say the thought that I had let this man manget mangot mangot got get away from me that he was now in Chuffy's employment and that there was a fat chance of Chuffy ever being chump enough to put him hini into circulation again ell dash it you ou cant can't say it wasn't enough to shove the iron into the soul It was something of ot the tho spirit of the old aristocrat mounting the that I tor forced ed myself to wear the mask Cigarette J Jeeves eeves Ho He prod produced ced the box and I puffed putted in silence Might I ask sir what you intend to do now nO k kI I 1 came out of the reverie Eh 1 Now that your our cottage is down sir Is It your your purpose to take another in this this' neighborhood I shook the head I No Jeeves I sh shall ll return to the I To your former apartment sir Yes But I anticipated the question I 1 know what you yuu are going to tosa sa say Jeeves You are thinking of Mr of at the Honorable Mrs and Lieuten Lieuten- Colonel ant-Colonel J. J J. J Bustard But circumstances circumstances circumstances cir cir- have altered since I Iwas Iwas was compelled to take the firm stand I h did in regard to their attitude toward the old from now on there will be beano no fric fric- tion My perished in the flames fJames last night Jeeves I shall not buy another No sir No Jeeves The zest has gone I 1 should not be able to twang a string without thinking of Brinkley And tho one thing I do not wish tc to do till tin further notice is think of that man of wrath You are not intending to retain him in your employment then sir Retain him in my employment After what has occurred 1 After finishing first by the shortest of at heads leads In the race with him and his carving knife I do not so intend Jeeves Stalin y yes s. s Al 1 Capono Capone But not Brinkley He Ho coughed Then as there is a vacancy in your establishment sir air I wonder It f you would consider it a liberty I f I were to offer my services I upset the coffeepot You said what Jeeves I 1 ventured to express the hope sir that you ou might be a agreeable to o considering my application for tor forthe the he post I should endeavour to toive give ive satisfaction as I trust I have done In the past post But ii I 1 would not wish in any case to continue in the employment of at his lordship sir sh now that he is about to to be marJ married ed I yield to no tone jone in my admiration for tor the tho many qualities qualities quail quail- ties tics of at Miss Stoker but it has never been beel my policy to serve in the household house of a married gentle gentle- man Why Wily not 1 It is merely a personal feeling sir sire I X see sec what you mean The Tho psychology of the individual Precisely sir And you really want to to come back with me I 1 should esteem it a great privilege privilege lege sir if It you would allow me to to do so sir unless you are thinking of at making makin other plans It Is not easy to find words in these supreme moments if you know what I 1 mean What I mean is you get set a moment like this this this-su- su supreme preme as you might say say with with the clouds all cleared away and the good old sun buzzing along on all six cylinders cylinders and and you feel well I mean mean dash It Thank you Jeeves I said Not at all aU sir THE E END D |
