Show The French Ought to toBe Be Ashamed Says Tex Guinan on Returning Home I I 7 By H. H ALLEN S1 SMITH NEW YORK June 10 United Texas Press ress Texas who can shoot her name In a dishpan with a 45 at 15 5 yards came back to the United States last fit night with a n boatload of 01 handsOme girls and the conviction that bat Napoleon Bonaparte had turned thrice In his grave g I The French government ought to tobe tobe tobe be ashamed said Texas to ta have permitted permUted a company of three thirty to Lo o cross th the ocean o-cean without telling them hem before they started that they were not welcome They ought to have lave their socks shot off oft I MI Miss Guinan said that she has bas im tam immense mense respect for the French pee pea plc pIc but all all' those ministers they dont don't even know the French and Indian Indian Indian In In- dian war Is over The first thing Im I'm going to do 1 if I have time Is go out to this place called French Lick The name sounds glorious to me And if anybody sees me with a French fried potato in in my amy mouth I hope I get the hoof and mouth disease God knows Ive I've cot got the former 1 Miss Guinan was resplendent in white riding breeches rhinestones and a white fur coat when reporters report report- ers eat reached her on board th the French liner Paris Parts All I can sa say sh she sha sad said is 13 that miles mUes is a a. terrific long IOng way to Continued ou on PAre Pace Two iwo The French Ought to Be Ashamed Says Tex Guinan on Returning Home Continued from lA Page r o One go to Jail jaU And Its It's a n. fine reception I got in the country where Marshal Marsha Joffre JoUre decorated me one me-one one out of fifteen teen women he decorated for extraordinary service during the war back war back In 1918 I sang my lungs out In the trenches and In the hospitals and then they throw me out of the coun try And to think that I studied French when I was In a n. convent Sacre bleu bleul Mon DIeul Golly When the Guinan outfit arrived at atLe atLe atLe Le Havre the thc queen of Broadway Immediately Im mm- mediately started getting foreign ministers in her hair she said The first explanation they demanded was washer washer washer her int interpretation of the word sucker After she had satisfied them that she had the same person in mind as Sinclair Lewis when he wrote Babbit they went below decks and looked at her automobile Texas bought her car from Larry Fay Pay who got it from the Belgian banker cr who fell out of an airplane Into the English channel who got It from the king of Belgium Th The king I of Belgium it seems had it built to order to travel to war It i is completely completely com armored including the tires Ures Well Vel said T Texas they came down and looked at it They saw Texas and Her Gang on the side and they figured we were gangsters So they took the car apart bolt by bolt They said they were looking for machine guns And when they didn't find an any and I had sneezed at them a couple of or times they put pul It back together again Then I had one of the men paint on the side Texas Guinan and Her Kids i I 1 no more than get this done till tm the dairy association of or all France descends on me mc They accuse me of having goats on board They accuse me of or coming to France to ruin the dairy business About that time I dc elded to let them have their way and come back to the Statue of Liberty Lib Lib- erty enty in peace and quietude |