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Show ABOVE THE HUUMALOO THE HIDEBOUND PARTY proclaimed pro-claimed nomination of a presidential presi-dential candidate Senator Hooey-Balderdash. Hooey-Balderdash. The convention culminated culmi-nated with all delegates disqualified and ballots cast by the janitors at convention hall. But it wasn't a clean nomination the Balderdash machine stole the Texas janitors. So conservative is the party it considers Alben Barkley too young to be president. Hidebounders have southern blocs within southern blocs. Any place south of any place is in revolt Southbounders are always bolting and bumping into worse bounders farther south. Unity slogan: "East-bound, "East-bound, Westbound, Northbound, Southbound we're all bound together, to-gether, Hidebound forever!" The Sidesplitters, .radical branch of the party, want the non-votes to decide elections, because most people peo-ple don't vote and majority should rule. EACH DELEGATE was a favorite fa-vorite son brought his mother. Gallantry demanded ladies be seated seat-ed first,' taking all the chairs and leaving the delegates unseated and disqualified. Each delegate was a candidate with a contested delegation delega-tion from each state supporting him. Soon the body of delegates grew to stupendous numbers, overflowing over-flowing the midwest, eating even the foliage like locusts. Older heads warned the party not to depredate the country until the party gained office, but it couldn't wait to swarm. The platform demanded a free-enterprise-socialized administration administra-tion with big business control of government by a government-controlled big business. This plank was inserted to blind the opposition or any upstart voter who might study it too intently. It enables Hide-bounders Hide-bounders to call espousers of any philosophy "you-too" candidates. V ! HIDEBOUNDERS are anti-isolationist. They declare that America, Amer-ica, bulwarked by the forces of our i allies from all foreign free nations, will sweep from the earth every government, religion and culture 1 not strictly American, until we stand alone. Alien nations must understand un-derstand that they must do theii part in this sacred enterprise without with-out our squandering any monej upon them. |