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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Service Is a Cure for Loneliness (Ben Syndicate WNW Service.) ' i A restless, discontented, morbid girl, who was consigned to on institution for the mentally afflicted, offered to help in the kitchen there. She discovered the was a born cook. Later she opened a tearoom, and now has three thriving TPUitirnnt. By KATHLEEN NORRIS THERE are certain girls to whom the golden years between 16 and 25 are one long purgatory. Because of influences that began, perhaps in their babyhood, baby-hood, they are out of everything. every-thing. For no perceptible reason boys don't like them; dresses don't look right on them; parties at home are dismal failures or not attempted at-tempted at all;, and to the delicious de-licious other affairs they aren't asked. All the other girls chatter about ski-suits, dances, house parties, football games and football suppers, but not our girl. She smiles brightly, makes what gallant pretense she may, and creeps home early. A very little of this sort of discouragement discour-agement goes a long way. It takes superhuman strength of character to'bpttle your way onward despite unpopularity and loneliness. It is not a girl's fault if she has not the home background, the frocks and opportunities that make for social success; but she suffers just the same. In my files I have the story of a restless, discontented, morbid girl who finally was consigned to an institution in-stitution for the mentally afflicted. This girl presently was asked to help in the kitchen of the asylum, washed dishes in the company of another girl and a boy, found friends at last, discovered that she was a born cook, was given a chance to try living outside again and opened a tearoom. Now she has three thriving restaurants, a nice-husband and a small boy. This is a true story. The Story of Nita. Such a case is that of Nita, whose mother writes me from a big mid-western mid-western city. Nita has a brother seven years younger than herself; her father is a traveling salesman for floor coverings. Up to 1931 all went well with the Blacks. "Ten years ago, when Nita was about 14," writes the mother, "everything "ev-erything collapsed. For months we really did not know what we were going to live on; my husband lost his job and his health at the same time. He has never recovered from the effects of a heavy attack of flu in that awful winter and will always al-ways be partially deaf. "Ward was too young to know or care what was going on, but Nita, sensitive and proud, just at an age to want to stand well with her school crowd, suffered intensely. Up to that time she had been a gay little thing, but now she underwent a spiritual as well as physical change, and grew thin and moody. We put her into a public school, which she hated, and added to all the humiliation humili-ation and distress of that time was Nita's acute unhappiness. Forced to Accept Aid. "For some years we had to accept ac-cept the help of a relative cordially disliked by us all, but eventually she died, and with what she left my husband could start again. But even now we are not solidly on our feet, for Ward is determined to become be-come a doctor like my father, and we have to contribute part of his expenses for at least 10 more years. Vita finished high school, had one ear in State college, and now for ;ix years has been trying to find or.genial work. HELP OTHERS FIRST If you begin by helping others, you may not have to worry about your mvn troubles, trou-bles, especially if they are the kind o) troubles that come from loneliness and a feeling of having been "left out of it." Some young girls, Kathleen Norris points out, just never have the fun they should have, and expected to have, in their 'teens. They go on into the twenties believing that they will always miss the things they want so much friends, a husband, a home and the wonderful knowledge of being loved. Instead of making themselves even more unhappy unhap-py by thinking of nothing but their unhappiness, they should try first to make others happy. "She is brilliant at writing or verse making and had real success in a character part in an amateur play. "About a year ago the dull routine of her life began to affect her seriously. seri-ously. I saw it, but was helpless to do anything. We live in a crowded crowd-ed flat, hundreds of others exactly like it pressing about us, the ugly realities of 'shabby gentility' on all sides. Nita comes home worn out at night, listens for awhile to the radio, reads a thriller. "It is no life for a girl of 24, and she knows it. She has become melancholy, tearful, silent. I sent her to her clergyman, who did help, but only for a while; now I have had a neurologist take the case. He says there is nothing tangibly wrong, but that she needs interests, amusements, distractions. I cou'd have told him as much. "Meanwhile a wonderful friend has offered me a chance to give Nita a change by supplying her with $1,200 a year for three years. The sum is already deposited, to be paid monthly, and although Nita for some weeks showed an almost resentful re-sentful apathy, on the subject, of late she has been half-heartedly suggesting a few possibilities. "Can you suggest a course that may pull her out of the depression that the unfortunate events of her girlhood made almost inevitable, and help me to feel that my little girl must not pay all her life for her parents' unsuccess?" A Cowardly Attitude. Isn't that a sad letter? Sad, beautifully beau-tifully expressed, and cowardly. Isn't it a pity that the woman smart enough to write that letter wasn't smart enough to realize that hard times are the very nursing-ground of character, and that fun has nothing to do with money? Isn't it too bad that this concerned and loving mother couldn't make en adventure of change and financial reverses, and instead of letting her narrow ideals of what was the correct thing to have and do destroy her daughter, daugh-ter, building them into advantages instead? However, there is an out for Nita, and she's young enough to take it. She doesn't even need that $1,200 a year. The answer is work or rather, rath-er, work's wonderful twin service. Let her go into a hospital, children's home, slum, and forget herself in humble and quiet help to the less fortunate; and her mental troubles will vanish. She will be so glad to get home at night, to quief and comfort com-fort and a good dinner and a restful white bed that she won't have time to think of herself. |