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Show CURING A SLUMP JiiML; WELL, well, good people, look who's here, Back from the scenes of yesteryear, The famous old Jake Wienerkraut, The man that struck great Casey out ; Perhaps he may some tale recall About the good old-time baseball, "When hearts were bold and spirits high And each man's motto do or die. "Well, you can bet yer old straw hat Ycr Uncle Jake can do just that, An' furthermore, I'll say to you That every word is straight an' true. 'Twas back in 'fifty-two, or three, Tli' date don't just occur to me, When my old team had struck th' dump, Just like this present Pirate slump. We sure did play some rotten hall An' furnished pie for one an' all, An', like th' Pirates, hit th' skid, An' slid, an' slid, an' slid an' slid; 'Twas then I woke up with a jerk, Au' sot me noodlepiece to work To put some pep in that outfit An' make them batters start to hit. T reasoned this way, first of all, That when a feller missed th' ball, 'Twas only by an inch he'd miss, An' sometimes even less than this. An' like a flash, all pert an' pat, I planned me great Expansion Bat. Th' plan was simple as you please An' always worked with perfect ease. It looked like any reg'lar stick, "With not a sign of scheme or trick, But whoa you gave that bat a swing Your hands compressed a secret spring An' as it swept from side to side It broadened out eight inches wide, An' couldn't miss 'th biggest curve That any livin' man could serve. "Why, man alive, 'twas simply great, Fer not a strike could cross th ' plate, An' as fer hittin' in th' pinch, To bat .400 was a cinch. Now, why don't this man Callahan Find some such simple little plan, Or else at once step down an' out, An ' send fer me, Jake "Wienerkraut 1 ' ' G. S. APPLEGARTH. |