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Show HELP AND HINDRANCE IN 1 GENTLE ART0F YELLING Great American Institution Finds Perfection in Expressions of Devotees in Life s Many Phases By EARL JAY GLADE, Efficiency Engineer I tELLING is largely an American I institution Of course men ha e I stretched their jaws ever since the world was joung but to America comes the honor of having brought th 3 form of oral expression from the depths of the ordinan to the present h gh standard of etfi ency which it now enjoys Long before Amerigo Vespucci had put h s brand its upon this land of ours old Chief Make Heap-B g Pow Wow had taught his progeny the art of declamation The night calls of the wildcat and the coyote were his inspiration and of i coure ample opportunity for Instrnc tion was afforded. i On his arrival at Boston, the pale face first fell down upon his knees and then, in an endeavor to fall upon the aborigines, came upon the yell in its unadulterated state "Since that time yelling has not decreased in the United States The newcomers were so 'favor ably impressed that they set about at once ta appreciate and maintain the Institution Certain of their gifted sons were especially des gnated as worthy and capable of developing; the yelling art Extensively Utilized. After centuries of assiduous effort, it finds its beet expreion in the following worthies The lunch counter waiter The basebal fan The newsboy The render of ' red-hots, ' Tha hotel barker at the railroad sta ' tfons 33ie irate dad And most important of all High school and college students. ; It is only natural that with the op-jporhtmties op-jporhtmties of university hfe, the under t4 should enjoy a slightly greater . degree of proficiency than the half -clad wkify -whose bread and meat are earned , xb the city's thoroughfares, and others urincse tune haa been occupied with other , matters than the mysteries of enuneia etjfa. rhythm, tone-color, and harmoniea. SHa the automobile horn should be apfcrnatad here is obvious first be Hp it is inanimate, and second be Mb its efanon eafl top melodious vdesSgnate as yeffing It nmet be WSKiitteg. however that the honk is BmiB-jlike in that it responds eagerly HRPBsasiBg and squuuuliQp Ejunsh counter Waiter. BBbbt dovoloee of the yell bare per-HHfca per-HHfca ttflfe art as has the raneh-eoaiter HHSS e a conglomerate of ragtime HjWMpeJsnto, his Ten is nmqas. Bflgv m and let's try a sandwich." Hgjatfgoxatiag: odor of grease and HBMfkigeetB as pleasantly at the door mmBfS-Jjr eeanrhig oar eyeglasses Kw e manage to locate two MC sotd are soon roasting as eom-JKUJWt eom-JKUJWt as jf we wars on a leather divan Be ng rather low in the port n annae we dec de that we are not very hungry "We nd cate our order ou the card very unobtrus vely that no one else may be informed as to the extent of our modest Howe er we are m med atelv assu e 1 that there s no need of embarrassment by the wa ter who makes the announ ement in his most elegant style Tells Everybody He takes particular care to enunciate distinctly and to veil loudly enough that not onlv the chefs in the k tchen mav hear but also that every guest and those on the street may not be left un nformed uch euphonious lnneh counter vernacular must surely be the envy of 1 terarv celebrities With ten wa ters handling five guestB ap eCe d ring the time required to negotiate ne-gotiate our modest fare the air is thick with delicious pandemonium yea, it compares quite accurately with the at mqspnere which brightened the restau rants near the Tower of Babel With a slight throbbing in the head and traces of discomfort lower down, we leave, we also leave thirty cents and enough mental energy to have earned thirty dollars. If there is one American activity in which yelling is half of the sport, it s the nataonar game. Music from the band may be all right in the ball room but take it away from the ball game We want real music there. Give us a genuine epidemic of breaking out at the mouth. Let every fan be the incarna tion of loquacity Let every play be ordered from the bleachers and under no circumstances let the umpire reader decisions contrary to the will of the masses. If said official is troubled with trachoma or other eye diseases, let him be aeeorded the kind assistance of the perspiring stalwarts who view the game from a point of vantage. In order to temper the players to their ardnons toil, let continuous expostulations with no dictionary embellishments go up from the stands. Let everybody speak and geetaelate at once that s it, keep the boil a kettttng. It s not baseball if there s not a roar Long live the fan! May keeping cool ever be his last eon si deration! Red hot Howls. But here comes the agony I Ryan is on third, stealing home. Jost as he makes the slide, along comes the hot dog' man directly tb my has of vision "Bed hots, gents! ' he yells, and stands there as dead as Barneses the Second. Of course, the umpire, not having the benefit of my assisting judgment and encouragement, pulls oS a bonehead, and the bleachers become a trifle annoyed an-noyed and so do L Whoa the plays are close and the game is fighting fine let the "red hot" brother take hfi dogs and heat them over again. No yeller performs as useful s fane- tion as the gesticulating barker who meets incoming trains with an an to-bus. As we are notoriously neesuhtod and hard of hearing he must be very ex plicit He most ask us the same question ques-tion not once bnt forty-eight times and by no manner of means in an ordinary tone of voice that t it loud enough for all our ancestors to hear Here s the worthiest of too Tellers. His yell has a special significance It his trademark. However, here's a pointer that holds good at least. In the frailness district. Rustling and not yell tag sells yonr papers. Ordinarily men decide to boy when they sis within fifteen feet of too It is, therefore, not necessary to blow their hats off with a thundering yell right while yon are making change Offensi rentes is this direction really rests yon sales. Is yonr yeil there is so parUealar seed of eompletefy distorting the words. Let them be proaooneed in a issnnar that will indicate that von took your last meal at least one-half hour before, and are not trying to maaaae it richt at. that time There s good business for the chap that gets next. The Irate Dad The other day oa Main street, aa angry father was addressing has son. They were sitting In an aoto which had been parked. If appears that is some way or other the son had lost his hat The terms of the dressing-down wars very distinctly- enunciated and loudly pokes so moeh so, is fart that aa 'levator operator off duty who happened hap-pened to bs on Ike fifteenth floor of the Walker bask building hurried down to ascertain th trouble and arrived jost in time. The sforemealloaod tons reverberated along lh street for s considerable distance The dad s torso was soon so saturated with the Ml of passion that it required three eigars to eahn Urn down Jatt then It was dls-rovered dls-rovered that be had bees sitting on the bov s hat s0 the time By all means fatbrr use th yell n censoring your prnemv and nmer org let to do tt on Ms o street The traffic offers splendid competition an I voo can work op ron dersble steam without be log heard College i ellJnj; Her voo havn ocal omherin in Infection a rhythm e bl 1 of poetry an I prose The f netloo of the yell Is flr.t, to (rive tim 1, beirdlera rontbs omethinn defloito nod nteltig I lo t, say an I aeron 1 to nnobato entb siarm Mh of Ibme fnn turns are fills I ndmiral I Yo m rt not nderstand that th ol lego yell is n rnnttcr of oral exirossion lone 1 1 r tr th n t hut when rop rlj rendered nr n feet r bs an I nl mp are bronchi nto action If a la ly is ttlna on the bleu hers nrl utely n front of v it in c istomnry to jump orn ber f r coat and perchance snrck her hat n o tl e arena I ist what loes happen is la gelv Injendent pon wh t tho scoro s aol who s coming n from lehfnd Squeak and Grunt. The let jells a cion nf monosyllnh stae atos B h j I an 1 lown beats are a cent nt d Mn o y Isl e i referrp I 1 e a s h n i h t n IT mors ren I ly a her not the lightest Ik I hoo I fa k m re, in o mo h Ihnn nn lef ly hsn lie 1 The b s nnytn ng f p snn to bn- fron he, e k to he k nt I he. eg e of Mflel s vn y Inrortnnt f v ell Itvyon nl f wh f l r" n le n n nn Tl a I I o v h en ho te wh e f V r nk r n n r nn I m there k wn e v U R n ecin o t n r n omp) hrr nt r I rn 1 n onn k 1 h in me In nk ng he i g mp efn hthyiV ne a I and rt I te l t w Konl h f I Vl tt n I a h , M , n n n k n n t a e fT P (. I 1 e 1 n 1 n ' n t r " u V" i n i r r n n V t H fiiS I hnvne w th efflrlenev t nder nf I rV condltlonii II nrovllen lmpt s IB n hlev nent A I ttl nt I n tl e i t r of e v I k t i I lu reg la o I j When to enco rnge j i |