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Show fyfhLPhillipr W lf WNVfar THE DICTATOR AT DOME Dictator (returning home after a bumptious day-Hail! Wife-Hail my eye! Remember ' you're not at the chancellery now. Dictator-Do you realize to whom j you are speaking? ! Wife I'm the only person who ' does! Dictator (still unable to shake off the dictator mood)-My smoking 1 jacket, please! Wife You know where It Is, don t you? . Dictator-Get It for me at once, E Wife Get It yourself. You're no cripple. Dictator I warn you. you are exhausting ex-hausting my patience. Wife Aw, cut out that line. Tootsl Dictator (wincing) Toots! Wife You never used to object to me calling you that Dictator-That was away back before be-fore I . . before, I, er . . . Wife Before you got all those uniforms, uni-forms, emblems and Ideas for salutes. You were a nice boy In those days. Little did I ever dream you'd turn out like this. Dictator There you go belittling me again! Wife I'm not belittling you. Dictator Yes you are. (He lights a cigar.) Wife (sternly) Put out that nickel stogiel You know better than to smoke in the living room. Dictator I'll smoke where I wish. This is my house. Wife Lissen, you either put that roman candle out or you go out on the back porch and smoke It. And no back talk! Dictator (who knows when he Is licked) Oh, all right, but I want It understood that my action is not to be misinterpreted as a sign of weakness. weak-ness. I am not establishing a precedent prece-dent I know my rights and . . . Wife Aw. Joe, pipe down! You sound so silly. Dictator I resent your studied attempts at-tempts to undermine my self-confidence. It's not very nice of you. Wife You've got me wrong, Joe. All I want you to understand is that you can't get away with all that boss of the universe stuff with me. I knew you when. Dictator You ought to be proud of me. Wife Why? Dictator Look what I've done! Look where I've risen! And all on my own ability. Wife Gee, but you've got a swelled head. Don't I get any credit? cred-it? Who designed that emblem? I did. Who thought up that color scheme for the shirts? Me. Who sat up with you night after night studying history and trying to point out Napoleon's mistakes? Dictator Have we got to go over ! all that again? You helped me, I ! admit. But I had to have brains. ! Wife Baloney. All you had to ': have was a radio and your nerve. i j Dictator Let's not argue. Is my steak ready? i Wife What makes you think you're getting steak? Dictator I told you I wanted steak tonight. Wife So what? You're getting cold roast beef. Dictator I will not have my orders or-ders ignored with impunity. I will J not be treated so contemptuously I will not permit my authority to be disrespected. ' Wife If you knew how funny you looked talking that way, you'd cut it out. Toots. Dictator Don't call me Toots. Do ' you know what millions of people are calling me? They are calling i me their hope, their idol, their peerless peer-less leaderl Wife Yeah. And do you remember remem-ber what the boys used to call you back In your boyhood days? Dictator What? Wife Peewee! Dictator This is too much. I'll go down to the palace where the boys respect me for what I am. Wife Okay, as long as you don't bring 'em up here. "Eight types of Near Beer Being Tried in Germany." Headline. So that is virtory! Si CAN YOU REMEMBER Away back when the word "defense" "de-fense" generally referred to football? foot-ball? Marshal retain is for a back-to-the-farm movement. The Man With the Hoch. ALLIANCE Three howling dogs got out one day Into such blustery weather That lest they be blown off the man They tied their tails together. H. Langeler. |