OCR Text |
Show Recorup A 100-to-n fflaTT rupt1on,anieltSag tons, reporta (W ! ' operation, years and a dav S inch-wid- e P sheet of "ncut, would IT HELPS SOME bejjf" ("The Aga Khan has been compelled to cut his racing stable down to one horse." News item) If you've been hard hit by the war If you have felt its frightful touch If you are getting more and more To feel your lot is not so much ; If you're enveloped in the blues If daily by some blow you're hit, Here is some rather soothing news The Aga Khan is feeling itl II If you are prone to knit your brows And worry over what's ahead If you've a tendency to grouse About the way that you've been bled; If you're complaining of the mess If every broadcast makes you blue, This thought will help a bit, I guess The Aga Khan is scrimping, tool III If Europe's war has burdened you And made you go a little slow In making any outlays new Or being careless with your dough; If you have felt war's bitter sting And think that you've been put upon, This item may be comforting-A- ll's not so well with Aga Khan. IV If your life isn't what it was If you must count your sheckels now If day by day the conflict does Its best to sink you by the bow ; If you are cutting down on gas To make each dime the limit go. This ought to help you let it pass The Aga Khan is low on dough. V If you can't live the way you did And must add water to the soup; If it's been months since you were rid Of all the cares that 'round you swoop; If you must now economize If you've cut out the fresh meat course, This fact may help your spirits rise The Aga Khan's on his last horsel HOME-GROW- STUFF "U. S. Searches for Substitute for Rubber." headline. "Has any chemist ever gone deep-ly into New England clam chowder for the solution?" asks J. L. Collins. "The bandits wounded the police-man in the left hand. A checkup re-vealed that a few of the policeman's bullets had gone wild, shattering eight bottles of liquor, fortunately of an inexpensive brand." New York Herald Tribune. There you go being a stern ma-terialist again! FAIR QUESTION Sometimes I think my fate is far, Far worse than I deserve: Why must I meet THAT other car On every single curve? Avery Giles. From the sound of the names of those cities and towns taken in Af-rica this looks more and more like i war to make the world unsafe 'or proofreaders. THERE'S A LIMIT Tho thoroughbreds race neck and; neck, And storm-tosse- d ships are cast aground; Tho cars collide in tangled wreck And bombs explode with fearful sound; Tho bathing beauties strut their charms And boxers battle, toe to toe; Tho hremen race to three alarms And workers shovel record snow I vawn, I fidget and I sigh-- To me it's all an utter bore I say to blazes with it, and why' Ive seen THIS newsreel twico before ! iviwnara Armour. PEST NO. 1,607 A Plague on him Who always snatches My remaining Book of matches. M. R. De Sena. W0Er?d 'ynn to say that the Z LTf the d6s but that wouldn't take it, and the A big man in th d f S he :'e S,kating ?"a? hi d,ay' This Pves There J a'WayS tended: to cut a nfindefense against an urge eight. CALL BY DICTATORS themvVinDd'd0atS3a5yS thfl "Go" With good as when1tCentSiSalmost for $2 was fceuig shown , i BIG TOP By ED WHEELAN JON HeARlNG'RED'S StiQUT, HAL.3EFF, AN& hWRA RUSHEDToTHE SFDT 1 - IfitHCTWASURER AND LEGAL ADJUSTER VJERC QUlCKLy C. " , .j-- v .i,-- (rs tFF" Pi lKi-T-rtS RELEASED AHO cpUeSTlONED ABOUT THE HOIUUK mf& Lc ames herb Ar ?-a- Wi and & nc stuck us up JffemW WWmk frxtvyferH.ANW'THey'RE fx oTTLN --r sK. thuesms that'sblackjacked'hm. ns mk 1 sp" jl ! J. Fuller Pei By JERRy uj-- "We're makin' Uncle Fuller," ZV haver, Willie, "sine. run wound the (J! y"r home runs cZ? Which ehowg L the knowledge o' Z you have to win 5? mine to feel m goJJ that are moat llkeliTj In ordinary mealslwt," and D. PEP'Bawonderfuitafe too. Why don't you p Ptr ttnlnd III ik, fa,J 4S to 75. Ik minimum ial, J rNervous ResH Girls!sdlstrea functional disturbances! T Lydla K Flnkham'tVegetU pound. Plnkham's Compound li for relieving pain ol lrregok and cranky nervousness dm disturbances. One of the: tlve medicines you can tr. for this purpose made e or women. WORTH TEE WHEN kidneys function t suffer nagging with dizziness, burning, sen frequent urination tnd getti night when you feel tired, allupset ... use Doan'ii Doen't ere especially!) working kidneys. Million ere used every year. They mended the country oveu neighbor! BMW WNU W J Mil I mm H OTE BOIS BOISE, Largest and taf ; Idaho. Twobundrei fully appointed fireproof catedlnheartofcW ernmentalandbus trlct. EXCELLENT MODERATE RATPj LALA PALOOZA A Long Wait By RUBE GOLDBERG WELL. I GOT 'EM I OO, THERE'S j. H.L ROUND "" IN TWO I iSff I BID NlfV,' it I ( ALL HERE A SEATJV'EM UP AFTER J .7!iEYl7V, Sf51 tnA HOURS I TWO H wy Deadly Tonfw The second most dead! ment of destruction it f ' mite gun the first is b tongue. W. G. Jordan. S MATTER POP Ssh! Beat It, Soldier.! ' By C. M. PAYNE S! "TRAIMA ARMV TO g V I , VX 15 UP THERE! "" '' As Presented We sometimes think hate flattery, but we only manner in which it is t Rochefoucauld. MESCAL IKE By s. l huntley Now All Pa Has to Do Is Catch It No Halfway I hate to see a thing halves; if it be right, doit if it be wrong, leave it Gilpin. POP-(S)lig- ht Muunderstanding By j MILLAR WATT YOU ADVERTISED I I WLL lV& I I WHERE'S r I I J) FOR A GIRL TO DOS GOT A YEN t7f THE Vf Vr UOHT HOUSE WOW FOR THE SEA LIGHTHOUSE-- ij Pk the mmk SPORTING L-S- -f ks ARMSTRONG g.' I "When b saw ha couldn't w-- Uiad taimkelf!" '' Suburban " - p,. III HeigliU - WILLIAMS K2S - i Biii rf.-.- , " |