Show MRo DOOLEYON TIlE > I S 1 I f S 5S fUTURE K N CHINA 1 5 t 5S SS I S Be th lima lhChines gets through with this here job o theirs said Mr Dooley theyll know a thing or two about good manners an Chrislyan idees S ideesThey need thim said Mr Hen nossy S 5 S They do so said Mr poolcy An1 thoyJl get thlm By an by th allied foorces will proceed to Peking It may not be In yeer lifetime In mine cr in th lifetime iv th Mlnisthcrs Hin nissy They arre in no hurry Th Ministhcrs arre as comfortable as they canibc on a dlte Iv polo ponies an bamboo an1 they have exercise enough dodgin cannon balls to have no fear 5v lnd > gljthlcn Theyse no need iv 1 haste Th allied foorces must make no step forward while wan arrmcd fgc survives It wns rayported last wuak J that th advance had begun but on slndin out scouts twas dJscoveicd S that th asphalt rroad to th capital was not reready th gallant sojer boys was afraid t6 risktheir bcccycles on a t defiotlve pavement Thin th parlor par-lor cars ordhered be th Kooshan Admiral Ad-miral has noL arrived an wan iv th Frrlnch Ginrals lost an omelette or 1 whallver tin they wear on their shoulders shoul-ders an he wont budge till it can be I replaced frm Pahrs A sthrong corps ivmlnors an1 sappers has gone ahead I Tr to locale rood resthrants on th line iv march but th weather is cloudy S I an th silk umbrellys havent arrived an theyse supposed to be four hun S dhrcd millyon Chinymcn with pln wheels an roman candies blockln th way so th adance has been postponed > post-poned indiflnltcly TJi ApicYlcan foorfces Is rrcady fr to start Imme i Jately but they t arre not there yet Th British Glnral Is waitln fr th Vlctorya cross befure ho does anny thIng an th Japanese an th JRoosh S an Is dancln up an down saying Af tImer you me boy S But afther awhile whin th frost Is S on th pumpkin an1 th corn Is in th shock Avhln th roads has been repaired re-paired an Ivrv Ginrals lookln his best an in no danger Iv a cold on th chlst theyll prance away An whin S they get to th city Iv Peking a line Cillybration l is planned be th misslon rlcs I sec th1 programme in th1 S paaper First day 10 a m players be th1 allied missionries 1 p m mas qacrco iv th Impress an rile famly sicond day 10 n m scatthrln iv 1 remains re-mains iv former kings 11 a m dIsc cfallon Iv graves glnraliy 2 pm massacre Iv all Glnraia an coort officials offi-cials third day 1 noon burnin iv Peking foorth day gran poplar nuts sjacrce an division Iv territry th cllly bration to close with a roughantum ble fight among th allies 5 Twill be a grieat occasion Illn nlssy an bcdad Id like to be there to S see it J Ye cant go too sthrong again th Chinee Me frind th Impror Iv Garmany put It right Brave boys says he ye arre goln out now he says Tr to carry th light iv Chrlstyan S Ity he says an tim teachins Iv lh Garnian Michael belays to th benighted be-nighted Imythen beyanl he says Moan S Mo-an Mike is watchln ye he says an wo Ixpict yc to do yeer duty he says Through you he says I propose to smash th vile Chinee with mo mailed fist ho says This Is no sixounce glove fight but demands a lunchhook 110ne I done up in eightinch armor plate he says Whin ye get among th Chinee he says raymlmber that ye arrc th vanguard of Christyanity hc says an stick yeer baynet through Jvry hated infidel yc see he says Lavc thlm und hietstand what our 1estim ron civilization S civ-ilization i means he says an prod thim good an hard he says Open their heads with yeer good Gnrtnnn awords to Europyan culture I an refinement he says Spare no man that wears a pigtail i t lie says An he says me an th Carman Michael will smile on ye as ye kick th linin out Iv 1 th dinagon an plant on th walls Iv Peking th banner ho says Iv th cross an ho says tIm double cross he says An If be chance ye shud pickup pick-up a little land be th way dont lave eer a Frinchman or Xtooshan take It S frm ye or ycll feel l Inc spccyal delivery deliv-ery hand on lh back o1 yeer neck in away I I way thatll do ye no kind iv good Hock Garman Michael he says hock me granfather hock th penny postage Osthe says hock mesllf he says An tim Garman Impror wint back to his bedroom fr to wurruk on th book bos goin to brrlng out nex year to take th place Iv th Bible Hes thbo r fr mo money Whin lh Garman throons takes their part in th destruction IvPeklng theyllbe S none Iv th allied foorcesll stick deeper or throw th backbone iv 1 th Impresss ol father higher thin th laads frm th home Iv th sausage 1 hope th clllybrationll occur on Chrlsmas day I Id like to hear th sojers singin Gawd rrest yc merry Chinymen as they S punchcrcd Ihlm with baynit II Twill be a good thing said Mr Hennessy S It will thaV said Mr Dooley Twill civilize th Chinymen said Mr S S Houncssy S 14 Twill civilize thim stiff said Mr Dooley An it may not be a bad thing I fr th rrest iv I tli wurruld Perhaps contaclc with th Chinese may civilize th Garmans Copyright 1900 by It I II Ilussell |