| Show LIGHTS AND SHADOWS I Societys Latest Fad Theyve reached It at last the climax has come Tin up to the very nick Tho dress of the hostess and that of tho In color room must match to bo chic Theyve had all sorts of fads but Jhls litho li-tho wont < And narrows tho circle once more I I For to follow tills fad most surely would 1 burst I Any man without mllllom galore I Just think of It now a woman will nocr Receive III the muno garment twice I So out goes the furniture uj i il l downstaIrs i down-staIrs t No mailer how pretty and nice 1 The dressmaking whop has now control I Complete of the furnIture trade For out goes the furniture past on tho I whole I Wren oor a new gown has u < jcn mane I Oh woman no tongue can your wild fads express j I I tf you keep very long at this tilt The limo la I not lar when you got a new dress A new houso will have to bo built I 1 I Humorists Wail Tho most excruciating pain 11 j A mortal ever had Is to work with might and main To bo funny when youre sad I I The Rhyme of Bachelor Jim He struck a rich vein In the Spoonhandlo mine And look out his thousands galore lie had Ixicn I In tho camps since about eight ynlno And had never been heard of before But now iho wholo city just rang with his name They gotslpud about him at will The spinsters at least were in this not to blame j For Jim was a bachelor still Hut the wav they went at hlm wos dreadful I dread-ful to tell They gave him no ponce night or day And the traps that they SOL to ensnare I hlrrt were fell 1 But front all he got aafclyy away I r They met him at church and out on tho I street At thonler concert and ball ° I They planned up swell parties where him they would meet Of peace ho had scarce none at all I In tho course of a month or two at the moat Ills ace looked quite haunted and palo llod fly round a block ere a woman accost Or up any handy stair sail Twas useless theyd meet him and hold him enthralled And then no escape was for him The young tho lively the toothless and 1 I bald Seemed to all dote on Bachelor Jim Till In pure desperation at last ho was I driven S ITo I-To accept them as fait ns they came So to each and to all lie told tales of love And proffered his hand and his name Till old maids and young maids and maids of all kinds The tall and the stout and the slim Tho rich and the poor all sorts and all I grnclca Engaged were Bachelor Jim And then he cave out that the Spoon handle mine Had pinched and Its output was slim Twas the stroke of a genius the trick worked so line For they all jll ted Bachelor JimA Jim-A Romance Its nil over Murru > My I father will never consent to our unlpn she said I sadly Tho only thing wo can do now Is to elope Your falhbr YOU think will forgive you afterward he asked nervously I No he will never forgive me 1 know him too well for that But then Murray dear 1 can be happy on sollttle wRit you Just a little cottage of eight or ten rooms anil two servants with a coachman who cun act as gardener will do for 1 beginning be-ginning dear You love mo PO well O Yes Murray completely And could put up with so very little for my sake Yes love 1 would even do with only three dresses from Vorth In a year How proud I am of your love he murmured Now Ill show you how self acrlllclng your Murray Is I lie continued I will not lake you from your home of luxury to the poverty of which you spoilt J love you too well for that 1 will wall until your father smiles on our union My every act will show him how sincere Is mv affection lie kissed her and went down the street Two hours later he was found In the back room of a downtown saloon drunk but happy Sho would do with a tenroom cottage and two or throe servants he murmured 10 himself Wanted a coachman who I might act an tho gardener and inl ht possibly pos-sibly get along with three dresses from Worth In a year DltliVt want a thing oh Just because she loved me HO and 1 was expected to do It nil on S7W year Here waiter some more whisky Ive escaped I I tell you anti I want to celebrate cele-brate 1 > I Am Gennerly Caught Bluffing Tls useless to struggle I 1 give It up now Ive tried Ito thing oft I declare Tls too blcssud 1 II folt It works Ii must vow To beat a full house with a pair Wanted a Reason Lovely woman wo can sec That your ankles sharply are Know your shoes are No3 Costing quite ten plunks per pair Then pray tell the reason why When to knco than ground theyre nlphcr When street crocsliips you paps by Those high skirts you lift up higher |
