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Show qJI Tew ISC Liltle t3 PERMISSION REFUSED A little village In Northumberland Is noted as being the site of an ancient battle, and the historian on holiday was collecting a little Information on the spot from a local Inhabitant. "And this Is the scene of the fight, I suppose?" said the learned man. "No, sir," replied the villager; "It were on top of that there hill." "Now, I wonder why they fought up there? Can you tell me why the battle bat-tle wasn't In this field?" "Well, sir," said the local gravely, "It be Farmer Giles field, and 'e be so mean e won't even lend It for village sports." London Answers Magazine, IN THE FAMILY "Don't you know It's wrong to fight, little boy?" "No. There ain't a Pacifist la our family." Long Sentence "Prisoner, have you unythlng to say?" "Assuredly, yoar honor. I desire to state without reserve or circumlocution, circumlocu-tion, that the penalty Imposed should be in keeping or, as It were, commensurate commen-surate with my station In life, which has hitherto been one of no Inconsiderable Inconsid-erable Importance." "Well, you seem to have a liking for long sentences. Ten years." Candid "Now boys," said the Sunday school teacher, "It Is our duty to do acts of kindness to others. Johnny, have you done anything lately to make some one happy?" "Yes," answered Johnnie, "I went to see my aunt, and spent two days with her. She said she was happy to see me start for home." The Overhead "You say you pay only a very low rent for this beautiful apartment?" "Yes, but I'm going to move." "Good gracious, what has come over you?" "An opera singer." Answers Magazine. Maga-zine. Good Example Registrar (to Freshman) What Is jour name? Freshle Jule, sir. Registrar You should say "Julius." (To next boy) What Is your name? "Bullous, sir." A Proven Canard Customer I don't want your crackers; crack-ers; they tell me the mice are always running over them. Grocer That ain't so; why, the cat sleeps In the barrel every night. WRONG CALLING f" eVi "They seem to have a lot of trouble with their car." "Ye3. Der husband Is one of those expert accountants who Imagines he was born a mechanic." Elegant Discourse "I wants to be procrastinated at do ner corner," said Mr. Erastus Tlnkley. "You want to be what?" demanded the conductor. "Don' lose your temper. I had to look In de dictionary myself befo 1 found out dat 'procrastinate' means put o(T.'" Too M uch Roistering Patient Do you think I ought to sP'nd a few days In bed, doctor? Doctor a few nights would do you more good. Social Simile "That young man Is always talking aout his family tree." "1"es." replied Miss Cayenne. "A lamiiy tree Is like the ordinary tree. a He twig ti,nt ,s farti,est from the main root does the most fluttering." Daily Dialogue . TA trlp t0 tl"i uon would take two days. oo-lR7T,,en what? Well, I suppose a picnic lunch hLu" Vlcl,es aU(J Pickled olives ou a blck of lava, and rHUrn. |