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Show IMmhd about Apache's Going Sissy SANTA MONICA, CALIF. A missionary on an Arizona Ari-zona reservation says the Apache, once the fiercest of the tribesmen, is going plum' sissy, and when a movie company took a group of Indian extras on location these original Americans, being stripped for action, got terrible cases of sunburn. They'd worn clothes so long their tender skins couldn't stand the heat. There's a lesson here, although, so far as the victim Is concerned. It i probably too late to do anything about it Once we'd backed the noble red man Into a pair of $3 pants we had him tamed. Sitting Bull, in war bonnet and buckskins, was a splendid savage, but, wearing overalls over-alls and a hickory shirt, he became : I ff Bun n Just a brunette farm Irvfa s Cobb hand. The derby hat may be the homeliest home-liest creation ever devised for human hu-man use, but It's the crowning triumph tri-umph of civilization, and the most pacifying for alien folks, as witness wit-ness Haile Selassie, looking now rather like a Filipino bellhop on his Sunday off. Humana Becoming Monkey-Like. A professor of psychology advances ad-vances the thought that mankind, in ages to come, may be headed for the all-fours posture which once the species did use if you accept the evolutionary theory, which most of us do, because we like to think of some people we know as having had ! monkey-like creatures for ancestors. We say to ourselves, the poor things aren't entirely over it yet But the learned gentleman who's trying to lift the veil of the future overlooks the lessons of the present Ha should study New York and Newport society when European royalty is in our midst. Denouncing the Baby Derby. When Prime Minister Hepburn denounced de-nounced Toronto's so-called baby derby as "the most revolting, disgusting dis-gusting exhibition ever put on in a civilized country" a lot of us gave three loud, ringing cheers. That eccentric Canadian millionaire, million-aire, who left his fortune for a contest con-test seemingly devised to prove that the human species has a strain of Potomac shad in it, unintentionally came near to making cheap and sordid the loveliest tiling on this earth, which is motherhood. To see families engaged in a race to bring babies and yet more babies ba-bies into the world, merely on the hope of getting paid for it; to realize the certainty of vulgar squabbling over the prize; to know that inevitably inevita-bly lawsuits will absorb most of the money well, there are many who oppose birth control. But deliberately de-liberately fostered birth uncontrol may have its drawbacks, eh, what? The Fate of Big Bolshevists. Here's what has happened to the original Bolshevist leaders, the fathers fa-thers of the Soviet setup: Trotsky, in exile and due to stay there if he values his health; Kam-eneff, Kam-eneff, exiled, recalled, executed last August; Zinovieff, executed; Rykoflf, demoted, arrested and trial Impending, Impend-ing, hence regarded as bad insurance insur-ance risk; Radek In the same fix and said to be worried, and I wouldn't blame him; Tomsky, committed com-mitted suicide to avoid something even more unpleasant; Kiroft, assassinated; as-sassinated; Mikoyan, got out in time and stayed out; Bukharin, under suspicion and arrest Impending, odds against, 0 to 5; Evdokimoff, executed; ex-ecuted; Smirnoff, executed; Lenin, died a natural death, but then Lenin always was different; Stalin, Bub-noff Bub-noff and Krylenko, all going strong, but you never can telL so would do well not to play too far In advance. ad-vance. a a a War Vs. Preparedness. As one who saw the first few months and the last few months of warfare on the Western front, I'm like nearly every other man or woman who witnessed those things I hate war. It's the next morning of drunken glory. It's a stench, an obscenity, a vain wastefulness, an unutterable Indecency. It's ft machine which sucks in at the hopper the beauty, the youth, the hope of the world and spews out from the spout the finished fin-ished product broken bodies, blinded eyes, maddened brains; dead men and dying men and ruined men. , But because we are against war and because we believe the best in-' in-' surance for continued peace is prop-! prop-! er preparedness in times of peace, ! and because we behold half of civill-i civill-i zation on the edge of war again and wonder where they'll strike i after j they've torn one another's throats. , we do sort of worry to see our country cut down on its defenses, counirj v irvin & CQBB WNU Service i |