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Show THE LADIES. (At a parly.) He Shall we eit down? Hlie I should like to, but my dreismakcr s.; s I must not. Talleyrand once s;iid: "A witty wife can compromise her husband, but a foolish wile can only compromise compro-mise herself." Rochester Democrat: "Dr. Mary Walker was never beard to swear but once, and that wm when she got her pants on wrong side belore." One of the most beautiful young Kirla in Sacramento is a confirmed opium smoker, and is often fouud in a stupefied condition in some oue of the Chinese dena which abound in that city. "What are you confidence operators oper-ators ?" said a yrufl old lellow to two little beggar girls who asked for alms. "No, sir," said the smallest, with charming simplicity, "no, iir, but we 'opes to be." "Minnie has been to see me today," to-day," said little five year-old, "and she behaved like a little lady." "I hope you did, too;" said her mother. "Yea, indeed; I Lurned uomersaulta for heron the bed." A Mrs. Mitchell and her twenty-years-oid daughter are conducting revivals in Montreal. The unregen-crate unregen-crate newspapers of that city draw attention to the fact that many of the converts arc young men. It is the old, old story of Eve and the apple, save that in this cae Belknap Bel-knap becomes a mute, inglorious Adam, refusing to confess, aa did his cowardly predecessor G,000 years ago. "The woman tempted me, and I did eat." Belknap showed in a nobler light than his illustrious ancestor, when he begged of his accusers, "Punish me, but spare my wife." An Iowa paper gives the following gratuitous instructions in waltzing: "Youug man, if you will waltz, and wish to do it in th highest style of art, do it thusly: Place your right arm around her waiat about two inches above her pin-back, throw your left arm under her right fin, ,:ien etick your nose in her left ear, and whirl. Do this, and you have the thing down to a fineness." Oh, she is ooly the wife of a post trader. They have no position in New York society. These were ugly words to Ciime from the fascinating mcuth of the beautiful Mrs. Belknap; and when they were borne to the ears of the fttir woman of whom they were spoken, Bhe but obeyed her womanly instincts when she retorted: "Wife ol a post trader ! Well, I guess the wifo of a post trader is quite as good as a woman who takes a bribe for appointing appoint-ing a post trader I" It was all out then. New York Sun. A short time aft-r the marriage oi the Duchess of Edinburgh, a lady correspondent was in Worth's, at Paris, with a friend who was selecting some dresses. Mr. Worth, who rarely makes a fcilk droi of any kind under $1,000 francs, w;ia advising her to trim with imitation lace a dress for which che was to pay $2o0 in gold. She said she could not think of wearing wear-ing an imitation. "Wait a moment," saiJ Worth, sud he camo forward with one of his women waiters showing show-ing an exquisite morning drew just complettd for the duchess. It was a pale shade of pink gros grain, trimmed trim-med intricately with iinitnton of Valenciennes; the prire was 1,500 francs. The humble republican was not moved by the example of the "Grande Duchese Marie," and would not take a leson in imperial economy. |