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Show Tiie Ladies. I Itiasaidtiod hears a widow when 'she scrapLd the bottom of her dour barrel.-. A Philadelphia woman swore that her husband s conduct was enough to "irrigate an angel." A Virginia lady has not tasted water for seven years. She takes only lea. This makes her a tea-totaler. An umbitious young writer declares that the crocodile dillera from the lover it does not let the moonshine ! through its ton!. When proposing to a widow, Ihe question whether her first husband is dead or divorced should bo put aa delicately aa pon-iible. The Chicago shop girla havpn't got permission lo hit down yet, notwithstanding notwith-standing the ladies agreed not to patronize the etand-uji stores. When a policeman marries he ia in a very short time ' onlronted by tho great problem of his lite, viz , where to hide his club so that his wife can't find it. A young lady named Viola, whoso father don't like young men, remarked remark-ed tho other evening, 'T don't see why my lather gave me such a name if lie didn't want mc to have a how." Venus is morning star now, but her boy Cupid is at his greatest brilliancy Sunday nights. He reaches his greatest elongation by Wednesday night, but it ia perigee again pretty soou. Anna Dickinson is writing a new play for the second week of her en gagement at the E igle theatro. i "Anne Boleyn," or, as it waa first 'known, "A Crown of Thorns," tvill bo presented for her entree, and will be strongly cast nnd eumptuously sot. "Yes, she's somebody's mother-in-law." said the old lawyer aside aB ho saw her set down a chair fur herself with a crack, and bridle into it, making mak-ing a hair-line seam of her mouth, and lengthening her chin downward about an inch and a half. "Madam," he said, "he's a villain undoubtedly. How much alimony does your daughter daugh-ter wish to appropriate?" "Ike," says Mm. Partington, "who's thia Electoral Bill that they're making such a loeomolicu about in tho house of rsprchensibles ? If he's any relation to that Florida fraud Cronin, I don't wonder that they doubt his voracity, and have a tribulation tribu-lation of commissionari. s set on bim.,' Ike replied that he run for congress ugainst Bufiaio Bill, but tho latter having stopped to teach Mor-lacchi Mor-lacchi a new step, had been distanced. dis-tanced. Then the old lady went to sleep, and Iko gavo the cat a aitz bath and a spoonful of bODesot. |