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Show AV Ullsll KOO.llaiV. Lady U was one of the nio.-i uwiabiu, guud creatures th.it ever ei tsteii; yet Lady II did not uc kuowtedge tutu the was no longer a young woman. Shu had arrived a-that a-that ticklish age lor women, lorty-twu, wucu her comjjlexiun was no longei fresh as at twenty-live, and her halt suddenly began to chow gray tiuto. .She did not like theso signs of preeoc lous old age. To remedy tho first jliere were a thousand ways, but it took lier some time lo refljet how to hiuc the secuud. At length she determined to have it dyed, very properly considering consid-ering that a wig, or even laiso hair, is always detestible. So she sent for Air. Doueganr ihe well kuowu hair dyer, and alter learning that the process itlf only lasied half an hour, aud that the following moment her looks would shtue in all the resplendency of polished pol-ished black jet, she determined as she was engaged that evening at Hertford iloue, to make her appearance there in ah the glory of renovated youth, bhe accordingly bid Mr. Donegan to come at eleven at night, when his entrance, en-trance, his exit, aud above all, his bus-mess, bus-mess, was least lieiy to be known or observed. ' The evening came; the dyer of hair was anxiously expected by Lady H . Her toilet completed, her lad ship began be-gan to watch anxiously the dial of her dressing room clock. But all in vain. Eleven struck, half past eleven came, and no Mr. Donegan. "Run down, (Jharkon," said Lady II to her maid, "run down and ask Matthew if the hair-dresser has not yet been." The appeal wa3 made to Matthew Riley, 'he Irish lootman, who stoutly averred that the coiffeur had not called. 'Tt is very odd," said her ladyship, when Charlton returned, ' for I heaid the bell ring twice. But never mind, he cannot be long,'' she said, and she resumed reading a favorite novel. The bell sounded attain, but without result, aud poor Bail,) H began to lear the would lose the pleasure of meeting the fnncn Regent for that evening. The patience of a lady has always a conclusion; so when the bell vuia repeated, otie turned round and desired de-sired her maid to ruu down, as she felt assured that no one but her hair dre.-s-er oouid pu.-sibly call also late an hour. Uharhou went, and found Matthew in a towering passion. "Is ihat the hair-dresser?" the asked. 'jNo, it's not," replied Matthew, and he turned angrily away. "Who was it at the door?" continued contin-ued Charlton. "Don't bother," said he. ''The dirty-blackguard dirty-blackguard I" And the footman turned away, muttering. Charlton returned to her mistress, who, being anything but satisfied with the answer, again sent her down to know who it was had been. Matthew looked very angry when the query was put to him, and began murmuring something to himself about "the rascal," . and "kicking," and "beating,"- and all sorts of ill-tempered threats. "That's nothing to do with it," said the maid. "Who was it rang?" "A blackguard," replied Matthew. "Who?" said Charlton. "An impudent blackguard" said ' the footman, 'be dad, if I bad him in Ireland I't deach him better!" "Who was it?" demanded Charlton again. "I don't know the thief of the world." was the sharp reply. "What did he want?"continued the maid. "Want, is it? Want? Sure I'll be after telling ye, ye' re so curious, for it's meself asked him the question," replied Matthew. - "Wed ," said Charlton, "go on." . "'Well,' says I 'what do you want this time o'night my fine lad?, 'I'll tell your missus,' said he, 'Divel a bit, ' 'till y've told me first.' 'My business is with the lady,' says he. 'It will keep warm till to-morrow, then,' says I, 'for the duce an inch you'll get in till I know what you want.' 'Can you keep a secret?' says he. 'Can a duck swim?' says I. Upon that he came close to me, and says he but arrah, you wont believe me." " Indeed I will," said the maid. "Well, then," says he, " I come to die hare." "Die hare!" said I. "Yes," said he. "And where would you wish to die ?" says L "In your missus's room," says he. "So with that I slammed the door in his face." "Indeed then, you've done wrong," said Charlton, ready to die with laughter. "But be dad, he came back again just now," resumed Matthew, "and says again, as pert as may be, ' Tell your missus I'm come to die hare.'." "Well, and what . did you say?" asked Charlton. "What did I say!" exclaimed Matthew, "sure I said what every honest hon-est boy would," "And what was that?" she asked. " 'Be jabers,' said I, 'yee a big blackguard, and an ugly Christian, and you'lf not die hare. Go somewhere else and die, you scamp of the world ! Die hare?' Sol gave him a push, and shut the door in his face; and be dad I'm thinking he'll never come here again to die." "The mistake was so ludicrous that even Lady H laughed at it, al though deprived for that night of a pleasant rout. |
