Show I SHE TLTIBIED The Little Lecture That the Colonel Gave Was Necessary Did you ever see a bird like that alive demanded the colonel of the young man who sat next to him He was staring at the strange specimen speci-men on the hat in front which cut off his view of the stage says the New York Recorder The wearer of the hat became intensely interested in the play and the chivalrous i young man glared at the colonel savagely out made no reply I say did you ever see such a bird I alive repeated the colonel nudging the young man vigorously to enforce his attention at-tention Then he answered himself I No sir no such a bird ever lived Look at that combination of colors Nature I isnt good enough as a pattern for these miliners They must have impossible com binations and devise birds whose colors and shape would give an ornithologist the nightmare The young man glared The wearer of the hat Oceanic nervous rheres a whole lot of sentiment wasted wast-ed over tho slaughter of song birds for millinery purposes continued the colonel cg Jt nel Very few song birds or any other kind are killed They are not wanted Nature could not supply birds with such bills and tails and colors as these women want Its the same thing in flowers Why I know a woman who Insists on having the rose in her hat dyed blue because be-cause blue Is more becoming to her Apparently no one was listening to him hut the colonel knew the wearer of the I hat was not missing a word I I like to see a pretty hat he went on I but when I see an impossible bird like I that one it loses all interest to me Its like seeing a welldressed man wearing a celluloid collar It looks cheap The woman in front turned slightly and looked furiously at the colonel but he ap 1 i parently did not see her and continued I just as the curtain was going down on I I the first act i i You see natural birds are expensive t They cost three times as much as these i inventions of tho milliners made up of rubber wire glass and dyed g < > ose fea thers That hat is a beauty and 1 should I say it cost a good price if it did not have i i that artificial bird on it That makes me suspect that its all show and probably I cheap I Then the colonel went out to see a I man When he returned the hat was gone Its owner held It in her lap Tho IV rolonel chuckled to himself those about j him smiled and the woman in front was J apparently deeply engrossed in the ads I in her programme V |