| Show HES REAL ESTATE He Becomes an Active Member of the Plug Hat Brigade A MINNEAPOLIS INVESTMENT It Fronted Mr Pansloy But Filled Bills Bis Soul With a Great and Growing Grow-ing Grief FOE Tnc SUNDAY HERALD By specia arrangement with the author MEfXEAFOLIS jtfDfX t 1 IK TEE FALL OF THE YEAR f j I have just returned from a visit to my property here and cannot refrain from referring to its marvelous growth The distance between it and the business center has also grown a good deal since I last saw it This is the property which X 1 purchased some three years ago of a i b r 1 a 4 k I STROLLED OUT THERE real good man His name was Pansley Flinton Pansley He has done business in most all the towns of the northwest Entering a place quietly and oven meekly meek-ly with a letter to the local pastor he began reaching out his littio social tendrils ten-drils by sighing over the lost and undone un-done condition of mankind After regretting re-gretting the condition in which he had found Gods vineyard he would rent a store and sell goods at a sacrifice but when the sacrifice was being offered up a close observer would discover that Mr Pansley was not in it In this way he would build up quite a trade only sparing a little time each day in which to retire to his closet and sob over the altogether godless condition in which he had found man He would then make an assignment Pardon me for again referring to the matter but I do so utterly without malice mal-ice and in connection with the unparalleled unparal-leled growth of my property here So if the gentle and rather attractive reader will excuse a bad pen and some plain stationery as my own crested writing paper is in my trunk which is now in the possession of a well known hotelman hotel-man whose name is suppressed on account ac-count of his family I will refer again briefly to the property and the circumstances circum-stances surrounding its purchase I had intended to put a good fence around it ere this but with these peculiar circumstances circum-stances surrounding it I feel that it is i safe from intrusion The property was sold to my wife by Mr Pansley a sacrifice but when tho i burnt offering had ascended and tho i atmosphere had cleared and the ashes i on the altar had been blown aside the > suspender buttons of Mr Pansley were > not there He had taken his bright red I markdown figures and a letter to his future pastor and gone to another town He is now selling groceries From town lots to groceries is to a versatile man avery a-very small stride Ho is in business in St Paul and that has given Minneapolis quite a little spurt of prosperity We exchanged a cottage for city lots unimproved as I said in a former letter and got Mr Pansley to do it for us My wifo gave him her carriage for acting act-ing in that capacity She was sorry she could not do more for him because he was a man who had found his fellowman fellow-man in such an undone condition everywhere every-where and had been trying ever since to do him up The property lies about half way between be-tween the West hotel and the open polar sea and is in a good neighborhood looking i look-ing south at least it was the other day when I left it It lies all over the northwest north-west resembling that respect the man we bought it of Mr Pansley took the carriage also the wrench with which I was wont to takeoff take-off the nuts thereof and grease it on Sabbath Sab-bath mornings We still go to church but we walk Occasionally Mr Pansley whirls by us and his dust and debris fall upon my freshly ironed and neat linen coat as he passes by us With a sigh He said once that he did not care for money if he only could let in the glad sunlight of the gospel upon the heathen Why I exclaimed why do you wish to let in the glad sunlight of the gospel upon the heathen Alas he said brushing away a tear with the corner of a gray shawl which he wore and wiping his bright piercing nose on tho top rail of my fence so that they would not go to hell Mr Nye And do you think that the heathen who knows nothing of God will go to hell or has been going to hell for say ten thousand years without having seen a daily paper or a Testament I do Millions of ignorant people in yet undiscovered lands are going to hell daily without the knowledge of God With that he turned away and concealed his emotion in his shawl while his whole frame shook But even if he should escape by reason of his ignorance we cannot escape the responsibility of shed ding the light of the gospel upon his opaque soul said he i So I gave him 2 to assist the poor heathen to a place where he may share j the welcome of a cordial and eternal damnationalongwith the more educated j and refined classes Whether the heathen will ever appreciate it or not I cannot tell at this moment Lately I have had a little ray of fear that he might not and along with that fear like a beam of sunshine comes the blessed hope that possibly something may have happened to the w and that mayhap it did not get there I went up to see the property with which my wife had been endowed by the generous foresight of Mr Pansley the heathens friend I had seen tho place before but not in the autumn Oh no had not saw it in the hectic of the dying yearl I had not saw it ivhen the squirrel the comic lecturer and the Italian go forth to gather their winter win-ter hoard of chestnuts I had not saw If 1 as ho god of day Baiats the royal mantle of the years croaking monarch and the crow sinks softly on the swelling swell-ing bosom of the dead horse lI had only saw it in the wild wet spring I had only saw it when the frost and the bullfrog wereheaving out of tho ground I strolled out there I rodo on tho railroad for a couple of hours first I think Then I got off at a tank where I got a nice cool refreshing drink of as good pure water as I ever flung a lip over Then rolling my trousers up a yard or two I struck off into the scrub pine carrying with me a large board on which I had painted in clear beautiful characters FOR SALE Tho owner finding it necessary to 20 to Europe for eight or nine years in order to brush up on the l ngu yes of the continent and return a few royal visits there will sell all this suburban property Terms reasonable reason-able No restrictions except that streetcars street-cars shall net run post these lots at higher rate of speed than sixty miles per hour vith out permission of the owner I think that the property looks better in the autumn even than it does in spring The autumn leaves are falling Also the prices on this piece of property It would be a good time to buy it now Also a good time to sell I shall add nothing because it has been associated with me That will cut no figure for it has not been associated with me for so very Jong or so very intimately The place with advertising and the freo use of capital could be made a beautiful beau-tiful rural resort or it could be fenced off tastily into a cheap commodious place in which to store bears for market But it has grown It is wider it seems to me and there is less to obstruct the view As soon as commutation ordin ing trains are put on between Minneapolis Minneap-olis and Sitka a good many pupils will live on my property and go to school at Sitka Trade is quiet in that quarter at present I pres-ent however and traffic is practically at a standstill A good many people have I written to me asking about my sul division di-vision and how various branches of industry I in-dustry would thrive there Having in j an unguarded moment used the stamps I I hasten to say that they would be premature J pre-mature in going there now unless in I pursuit of rabbits which are extremely j i prevalent just now I Trade is very dull and a first or even second national bank here in my subdivision sub-division of the United States Would find itself practically out of a job A good newspaper if properly conducted could i I have some fun and get a good many advertisements I i ad-vertisements by swapping kind words and regular catalogue prices for goods But a theatre would not pay Iwrite this for the use of a man who has just written to know if a good opera house with folding seats would paya fair investment j in-vestment on capital NOt it would not I will be fair and honest Smarting as I do yet under the cruel injustice done me by tho meek and gentle grocery man who while he wept upon my corrugated cor-rugated bosom with one hand softly removed re-moved my pelt with the other and sprinkled sprin-kled Chili sauce all over me I will not betray my own friends Even with my still bleeding carcass quivering under the 1Ialford sauce of Mr Pansley the skin and hypocrite the friend of the far distant savage and the foe of those who are his unfortunate neighbors I will not betray even a stranger Though I have used his postage stamp I will not be false to him An opera house this fall would be premature Most everybodys dates are booked anyhow Ve could not get Francis Wilson or Nat C Goodwin or Eosina Yokes or Edwin Ed-win Booth or Mr Jefferson for they are all too busy turning people away and I would hate to open with James Owen OConnor or any other mechanical mechan-ical appliance j No Wait another year at least At present an opera house in my subdivision to the solar system would be as useless as a Dull Thud in the state of New York One drawback to the immediate prosperity pros-perity of the place is that commutation gates so far are yet in their infancy I Eightyseven and onehalf cents per ride on trains which run only on Tuesdays and Fridays is not sufficient compensation compensa-tion for the long and lonely walk and the paucity of some suitable cottages when one gets there So I will sell the dear old place with all its associations and the good will of a thriving young frog conservatory at the buyers own prices As I say there 3tw i gi f t to a mow 4E J NYE AND THE GROCERY1IAN has been since I was last there a steady growth which is mostly noticeable on the mortgage which I secured along with the property It was on these when I bought it and as it could not bo removed re-moved without injury to the realty according ac-cording to an old and established lawvof Justinian or Coke or Littleton 2 tr Pans ley ruled that it was a part of the realty and passed with its conveyance Itis looking well with a nice growth of interest in-terest around the edges and its foreclosure fore-closure clause fully an inch and a half long I would be willing in case I do not find a cash buyer to exchange the property prop-erty for almost anything I can eat except ex-cept Paris green I would swap the whole tiling to a man whom I felt that 11 could respect for a good bird dog male dog preferred unless good references are given I could forgive things in a male bird dog which would not on the other hand be forgiven You know how sp ciety is hero where I live We cannot be too careful I would also trade the lots for a milk route or cold storage It would be a good site for some man in New York to build a country cottage provided he desired de-sired to lead what is called a double life I would also swap the estate to a man who really means business for a second hand cellar Call on or address the un dersigned early and please d0 nofpuah rudely jostle those in the linajanead of yon v f Cast off clothing express prepaid and free from any contagious diseases taken at its full value Anything left by mistake in the pockets will be taken good care of and possibly returned the spring Gunnysack Oleson who lives eight miles north ofthe county line will showy show-y over the grounds Please do not hitch horses to the trees I will not be ponSibleto horses injured while tied to my trees N BA new railroad track is thinking think-ing of getting a right of way next year which may be nearer by two miles than the one that I have to take provided they will let me off at the right place I will promise = to do all that I can conscientiously con-scientiously for the road to aid any one who may buy the property and in calling call-ing tho attention of railroads to the advisability ad-visability of a road in that direction All that I can honorably do I will do My honor is as dear to me as my gas every year I live J P SThe dead horse on lot 9 block 21 Nyes Addition to the Solar System is not mine Mine died before I got there BR |
