Salt Lake Herald | 1891-12-06 | Page 11 | Recipe to Cook a Husband

Beslpo to Cook a Husband A good many husbands aro utterly spoiled by > mismanagement Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders and so blow them up others keep them continually tinually In hot water others again let them freeze by their carelessness end indiffer nce others roast them while some keep them in a pickle all their lives It cannot be supposed that any husband will be toner ton-er and good managed in this way but they are really delicious whoa properly treated In selecting your husband you should note not-e guided by the silvery appearance as in buying mackerel nor by the golden tint as if you wanted salmon Be sure to select him yourself as tastes differ Do not go to market for him as the best are always brought to your door and even then it is far better to have none unless you patiently patient-ly learn how to cook him A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is best but if you have nothing but an earthenware pip kIn It will do with care See that the linen you wrap him in is nicely washed and mended with the required number of buttons but-tons and strings tightly sewed on Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord called comfort as the one called duty is apt to be too weak They are apt to fly out of the kettle or to be burned and crusty on the edges since like crabs and lobsters you must cook them while alive Make a clear steady fire out of love neatness and cheerfulness Set him as near this as seems to agree with him If he sputters and fizzes do not be anxious some husbands bands do this until they are quite done Add a little sugar In the form of what confectioners fectioners call kisses but no vinegar or pepper on any account A little spice improves im-proves them but must be used with judgment Judg-ment Do not stick any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becoming tender Stir him gently watching the while lest ho lies too fiat and close to the kettle and so becomes useless You cannot fall to know when he is done If thus treated you will find him very digestible agreeing nicely with you and the children and he will keep as long as you want unless you become careless or set him in too cold a place