Show I SOTTO VOCE ACCOUNTS the experiences of the Jew home missonaries are coming in In one of the outer settlements a Sunday Sun-day or so ago while the meeting which was held in the afternoon was in progress pro-gress the speaker being two youthful promulgators from the city it so happened f hap-pened that four of their fellow laborers who were returning from forenoon appointments ap-pointments in surrounding settlements i stepped into the meeting making six home missionaries at one small meeting meet-ing and all from Salt Lake After the last speaker was through the bishop in behalf of his congregation thanked the brethern in a kindlv manner for their entertaining and instructive remarks and closed by saying The choir will now sing the hymn on page 116 And are we yet alive 1 WHAT DrOUGHT you here sternly inquired Judge Speirs of a hiccoughing Tagabond who was slaking on he bench beneath his gaze Two policemen yer honor was the watery response Didnt whisky have anything to do with it j Yes yer honor they were both drunk i Poor MAC His dreams of revolutionizing revolution-izing Utah fallen through he has beet moving heaven and earth to get back the consulship of St Helena again Fortunately for him that the administration adminis-tration is not likely to hear of his grand newspaper Democratic scheme and his plans for making a Democratic voting strength here that would have the Territory admitted to the Union within a year Mac gave St Helena some pretty hard blows in his Bonaparte lecture and when inveighing against the barbarity of the English said the island was not a fit abode for savages ranch less Christians or something to that effect It will furnish 1500 a year to a consul however and that atones for a multitude of shortcomings t Jin VAUIAX we learn is thinking off of-f making surveys for another route that j will bring back the underground del de-l parted Rumor has it that the most i rigorous measures will be instituted looking to the fetching back of the i missing ones which very forcibly brings I to mind the old revolutionary recipe Tohang a man first catch him Inn ONLY good word the Tribune ever said for THE HERALD was on Friday When it stated that a young man in j Walker Bros store who had subscribed 1 I for the daily one year and received his I five premium numbers was anxious to I s sell both for 5 Next day two new subscribers sub-scribers to THE HERALD were reported j from that same store As for the young J man in question if there is any such I I I person he can find a good many around this institution who will take his offer without a moments delay Apply to this office iy sAN s-AN INDIGNANT deputy marshal thus j declaimed not long ago The papers I say these sneaks and spies who are I I crawling around windows and keyholes are deputy marshals There is not a t word of truth in it not one of their I I names can be found on the government I pay roll The are simply individuals l I picked up by Messrs Dickson and Var i lan who pay hem percentages of the fee un 411 cases theyy carl work up I belieptha eton halfbutitsad d outrage to aLtheui depntymhrshals 9 We cheerfully ntiFe < tC correction hOT Loxoago aJittle fellow appealed at one of our dentisls offices and with many awry face said i had the tooth ache and his mother had sent him down to have three of its first teeth pulled The doctor gave him a whiff I of ether and jerked out the three ten l der little molars when the boy came toy to-y he commenced to cry bitterly saying he wanted to take his teeth home to show to bis mamma he absolutely refused to I be comforted without them and as the doctor had thrown them into the r i French horn cuspidor that adorns the arm chair he went into the next room I picked up three terrific molars which he i i I Lad extracted from the head of a miner the before and day wrapping them in a I 1 paper gave them to the child He at once ceased his crying and danced or in delight to show his teeth to mamma That lady awaited his appearance with anxiety and when she had unwrapped the paper and saw there the emblems of his suffering she clasped him to her I bosom with hysterical sobs exclaiming Oh you poor darling how could I I let you go alone Somewhat to his I astonishment and considerably agains his will the child was hastily undressed and put to bed and it was not till his father came home at noon and had m i I been dragged into the sufferers room t that the hoax was perceived and the sufferer released 1 ALKEADY THE Tribune sees the neges sity of palliating the crime of forgery i committed by young Kinsey and in pursuance of the same old policy which has marked the steadfast inconsistent of its career lays the blame upon the shoulders of the Mormon Church Now as young Kinsey is not a Mormon bu is the offspring of Gentile parents ant owes his proficiency in penmanship it i is said to instruction impartedjat one o f the leading Gentile schools of this cit the connection between his crime and Mormonism is about as clear as the sediment of the Jordan or the headwaters of the Salt Lake Tribune But then it is urged he lived in a Mormon city which i3 fact sufficient for Tribune purposes and pricstcraft and J1olygamv must henceforth be responsible for the t young Gentiles moral defection in the minds of allwho draw their daily bread and inspiration from its pages True S the Tribune is not brazen enough this i time to assert as much in its own words t f which mar or may not be a i faint symptom of reformbut then it quots so exultantly the views of a San Francisco paper after its own heart which says it in so many sentences that it might as well be true to its own conscience say thems my I I sentiments and have done with it t Tie trouble mss the Tribune is not true r to anything its readers are its dupes x and it plays the fool with itself in every 9 t issue While as for conscience if there y is a better definition for nothing than a E Sr SrL footless stocking without a leg ° f ft God without body parts or passions he of it must certainly be the conscience the Salt Lake Tribune THE Tribune wants the Mormon chiefs to stop this business and come back within the holy circle of the laws and puts forth as the reason for its request that the effects of the antiMormon crusade now in operation will hurt the business of Mormon merchants Of course the latter will feel correspend ingly grateful for the Tribunes interest in their weltare and if a goldheaded cane or a giltlettered testimonial be not forthcoming they will at least unite in a demand upon the First Presidency hat they forthwith haul down the flag ls We Ilae surrender to the nations laws and Tribune logic and philanthropy Some illnatured vendor of Mormon peanuts is as liable as not to dissent from this and start the report that the Tribune is speaking one word for Mormon merchants mer-chants and several dozen for itself and other Gentile houses butwe feel assured that the great majority of the former will see only the high motives the generous impulses the altogether disinterested intentions of that consistent con-sistent lifelong friend patron and advocate ad-vocate of Mormon business men the Salt Lake Tribune Letting alone the question of how far a man ought to sacrifice his religious convictions convic-tions in order that the busy wheels of commerce may not stand still and conceding for arguments argu-ments sake that the abolition of polygamy polyg-amy would put a stop to the relentless crusade now in full blast is it not a little bit ridiculous that the Mormon leaders should be asked to stop the ball that other hands have set rolling in their direction because forsooth threatens to grind in its sweeping course some of those who were instrumental in starting it We would like to know what unheard un-heard of miracle could be performed that would satisfy the demands of squawkers like the Tribune It damns the Mormons if they do a thing and it damns them if they dont Theres no pacifying The put ing away of polygamy wouldnt do it It would be the first to cry coward and poltroon if the Mormons relinquished relin-quished their religion to appease its enseless clamor It has proved this in a hundred ways The only thing wean we-an think of that resembles it is the bullying urchin who was beating his little brother and exclaimed when the latter cried out under his cruelty Mother make Bill quit every time I hit him on the head he hollers |