Show flEa EVOLVING MULE Still on Jb Phoenixs Invention Johnile War Department File in the I r j las t time I was in Washing = The officer to veteran army aid a J ton respondent t those fellows up a cor hfl Navy Department were in at t huff overall effort looking to ita 1 fchange in their uniforms and change ih was as great a commo there the one that existed as t Ion President Pierces ad during talked of ion when they inistratlon min l the styles of uniforms in r hanging c attended That event was at the army 1 hv8 very musing incidents b some I but y tbe most laughable was the part f taken in ic by the late Captain Derby or John Phoenix as he was 1 known in journalistic and literary I circles He was a lieutenant at the time and stationed in California Jeff Davis who was Secretary of War issued a general invitation to officers of the army who were skillful skill-ful draughtsmen ro send in suggestions = sugges-tions for the new uniform which it had been decided to adopt One such invitation was sent to each office Lieutenant Derby was ready with his pena really ingenious artist In reply he sent to the War Department not exactly a design for a new uniform bat a < peculiar addition to the old uniform the amendment consisting merely of a ring attached to the seat of the trousers of each private soldier Each officer was to carry instead pta pt-a sword a long pole with a hook in the end like a shepards crook The pole and the ring enabled officers to keep privates from running away in battle Fugitives could be easily caught by it and brought back stragglers could be kept in line Moreover the ring would be very i useful in the cavalry service to i fasten soldiers to the saddle to prevent pre-vent them from falling off and in the artillery service the rings were to be used for draught purposes in the absence of mules These specifications were accompanied by the most grotesque figures representing officers hauling t back cowardly recruits by the serviceable f ser-viceable ring cavalrymen securely J fastened to the tops of their stesos J by the same deviceand artillerymen i harnessed to cannon drawing them I through narrow defiies or up an acclivity ac-clivity inaccessible to mules o On another sheet of Bristol bo ir j was I an illustration in gaudy col r5 of Derbys Rotary Mule Howi r I accompanied by a written insesip tion to this effect Upon the back of a young and vigorous mule strap a mountain howitzer the muzzle pointing toward the tail A similar piece of ordnance is fastened with iron bands under the animals abdomen ab-domen the muzzle aimed between his fore legs in the front There are four gunnerstwo to each piece 3 and a persuader as he is called whose business it is to persuade the mule to stand firm and not retreat by stuffing him with oats after each discharge with a tin sausage stuffer When Indians or other legitimate game appear in view the mule is by a crank movement on the tail brought to the front It dont make any difference which way the mule l facesand here is where my patent comes inone gun is always pointing to the front At the command com-mand Fire the top howitzer is discharged dis-charged The recoil throws the mule on his back bringing the second J sec-ond gun into position This discharge dis-charge suddenly throws the mule on his feet again when the gunners swab out the mules throat with hay and reload i The illustrations which accompanied accom-panied these directionsin brown red blue and gOld and still on file j in the War Departmentrepresented the rotary mule in seven different differ-ent attitudes looking contented and happy all the time This was felt I to be outrageous on the part of a J sabaltern The clerks in the War I Department laughed at the funny letter immoderately the superior looked serious Jefferson Davis the secretary was terribly indignant in-dignant and had I resolved to defend his wounded dignity Charges and specifications were drawn up against Lieutenant Derby and the officers were actually named i for his court martial when William 1 L Marcy Secretary of Statea j man of considerable sense and self I poise said to the Secretary of War t Now see here General Davis dont you do it This Derby has undoubtedly undoubt-edly a superfluous development of humor but he is shrewd and ingenious in-genious and really a fine draughts J man You can organize a court that will convict him but you will be the butt of ridicule on account of it all your life Better file the suggestions of the crookand ring and the lively rotary mule and say nothing and he did it Poor Derby subsequently became an inmate of an insane asylum and later died bv suicide |