Show THF FUNNY FELLOWS Never ask an undertaker to recommend ommend you a good physician Patent medicines are now made that will cure everything except hams Oysters are not allowed to open on Sunday in New York Now that damn is pronounced not profane ministers are adopting the name damnation for donation parties The young woman who gave her land to a gentleman ninety years says that dried fruit is much better than it looks New style in hair Barber How will you have your hair cut sir Man in cbairIn silence Bridegrooms motto very free iranslation Veni vidif viol Ive been and gone anddoneitI A muff is described as a thing hat holds a girls hand and doesnt squeeze it This definition is almost al-most correct A New York divorce lawyers advertisement reads Hymeneal incompatibilities as a specialty 1 carefully adjusted Tis slavery to I detain the hand after the heart bath fled A Brooklyn lady caught burglar in her room and compelled him to marry her Since this terrible punishment ishment there has been a great falling off in the number of robberies robber-ies in Brooklyn A bad ending Well William whats become of Robert What avent you card sir No Not defunct I hope Thats just exactly actly what he as done sir and walked off with hevery cent he could lay his ands on A minister who was speaking about heaven said No feeble idiom of earth can describeor portray por-tray the beauties of that place He was ready to scalp a reporter the next day who rendered the sentence sen-tence No feeble idiot of earth etc Does your Helen remind you of Helen of Troy she asked sweetly as the springs flattened under a pressure of 160 pounds No not precisely you remind me more of Helen of Avoirdupois was the scaly reply In Westphalia Germany a list of notorious drunkards is published by the police and the dealers are forbidden to sell them liquor It seems a little hard on the saloonkeepers saloon-keepers to deprive them of a customer cus-tomer just as soon as he is educated up to a prc Stable basis An Oil City young man who has been speculating on the wrong side of the market received a letter from his sweetheart in Philadelphia Philadel-phia the othor day asking why he did not write to her He answered on a postal card Am waiting for the passage of the two cent postal act actA A model Memphis husband was called to the telephone to answer his wife who was inclined to think he was fibbing when he said he was going to the office Just as he called out in his pleasantest tone Are you there my dear lightning struck the wire and knocked him across the room AS he gathered limselt up he said Yes shes there |