Show POKER CRIMES OF WOMEN How Bad Sad Blood Bl od Is Stirred Up by the Frayed Phraseology Habit New Ne York Press Pe Few poker players layers are more deserving of capital punishment than Is the theman woman wo woman man of frayed fra ed phraseology Unfortunately Unfortunately there is no 10 fitting fiting redress Sex considerations obviate proper reprisals This particular pest loses no time If I there is a newcomer in the game it is a afine afine fine opening for Mrs Pest She chuck chuckles les ies for a while until she has attracted the attention her spirit craves Then she says sas gently gentS I 1 suppose you OU know our rules Mrs In Why Vh no says Mrs You see I play pia In so 9 many games and they have have different rules in each Do you take a card car exposed e pos in I the draw or do doL L you ou not take U it I That Is always more or less of a question queston Oh that the rule 1 I meant says Mrs Irs Pest This Is a different rule entirely Well Wel says ays Mrs Ir unsuspectingly what is this rule Why says Mrs Pest slowly and demoniacally if it you are arete arete te he he caught bluffing ha ha hayou you lose the pot Haw Han haw haw hawI It may be that Mrs is 15 will willing wi willing ing I to admit the exquisite humor of this novel conceit and If it so she will wi join in the laughter which Mrs Pest starts Again it i is possible le that Mrs is a a woman of o some ex cx experience in the matter mater of poker In the latter case Mrs Irs may look studiedly later blank and say sweetly sweety Do you ou mind saying that gain again I 1 quite catch It So Mrs Pest may go over ov It once more and at the finish Mrs Irs still sti innocently bland may protest I know it Is awfully stupid of or me but really realy I get the point of at that rule I dont want to tax your patience but if I you 0 would repeat it once more Id Id be ever so much obliged I Even ven Mrs Irs Pest cannot get away from froma fromI a realization thai th eh 61 tl Is being ridiculed and she may git gi l er ter any repetitions of that ob observation for the rest of the evening But she may still sti be depended upon to trot out other scarcely scar ly less timeworn expressions and with wih them make an appeal to the appreciation of her fel id fellow low how players player There she sine will wi exclaim as she ex cx exposes poses an opening hand made up of two I puny pairs a hand she should be very ery grateful there was WS no competition I against There Opened the pot on two pairs and not a single player Ev Everybody E Everybody looking out the window This Thus does very er well as a figure of speech designed to show the lack of oC in interest Interest Interest I terest displayed by b the other players That is it I does very ery well wel for one time But the of Its introduction destroys its charm It is a good bit like country countr sausage This may ma be a homey homely comparison but it Ils is most time timely timely ly I in the opinion of the recorder The recorder has a friend who has a friend who lives in tha country where sausage comes from The friend fren of the coun country country country try friend said sid some time ago to the historian I had the most delicious country sausage this morning you ou ever stuck your teeth into I guess it I went I bad with the buckwheat cakes and ma maple mapie mapie pie syrup What You should have haye declared me mp in said the historian I am amstrong amstrong amstrong strong for the country sausage but my better positively declares de lares there is no such delicacy to be had in all ahi al New York The next time I 1 get a a job lot Jot of it said sai his friend I will wi send you ou a bag to your our house I thank you very er kindly kindl said sId the recorder You are a proper pal So the tine country sausage came and was w s enjoyed at af the very next breakfast Great said the historian and his wife wie agreed Next day there was coun country country try sausage for breakfast and it I was still sUI great The third morning there was country sausage for breakfast and the writer wrier looked troubled I think this country countr sausage gets better beter and better beter said the wife of his bosom Possibly you are right agreed the historian somewhat shortly short Next morning the recorder knew be before before before fore he entered the breakfast room there was country count sausage Now see here he said to his life companion I yield to no man woman or child on Manhattan Island in my admiration for tor country countr sausage but when you deal it out four times hand running Im Im bound to pass Scramble me up three eggs or orIll orIl orIll Ill Il forget Im Im a gentleman genteman and make this flat fiat fat look like a couple of elephants had been doing the Merry Widow waltz in it Which digression has nothing at all al to do with wih poker expressions but may my serve at that The woman with wih the frayed phraseology ogy habit anywhere near through og She may pick up a hand that by b no stretch of imagination could be termed flattering My Iy she says to no one in particular but so all al may hear Ive got a hand like a 3 foot Then she leans back in her chair ch ir and giggles hys hysterically hysterical But no one joins In the each cach i All Al the te others are filled file with pity Pity for her poor thing but infinitely In Infinitely Infinitely finitely greater pity for themselves that tat they the have to submit and politeness for forbids forbIds forbids bids their expression of opinion of one who will wi insist on lugging in these bo bovine vine vind at an otherwise enjoy enjoyable enjoyable enjoyable able occasion The possibilities within the scope of oC Mrs Mr Pest are almost Inexhaustible If I one Incident of play give her the opening her soul so covets another will wil Sometimes a single situation will serve sere serea a a double purpose Thus after our lady has declared of a certain set of five cards that hat she has a hand like a foot toot she may on the very next deal be served with wih a similar hand The only prerequisite to the delivery delvery of another of or her ber decrepit phrases is that tat the te pool be a jackpot This will wi give gle her th thi opportunity to say sayI I 1 open a door The materialist in the gathering may ma murmur The point may ma be ral that thet no 10 request for opening a door dor has been put to Mrs Ir Pest It makes make no differ difference difference ence In the face of a liberal guying she will wi insist Insist that she could not open a adoor a adoor door and will wi be at some pains to ex ox explain ex plain that here is 15 a joke Finally Finaly Mrs Pest will conjure up the wraith of ot a poker jest that died dIe before the birth of neighbor Noah A Afew Afew Afew few losing pots pot will wi do as a excuse fur foi unearthing the mangled mangle remains When hen conditions are right Mrs Ir Pest will wi cry out In iii a loud voice olce This reminds me mc of the time I haul hail my misfortune It is Improbable even the most venturesome will wi ask ak for par particulars but she will wi not be allowed to t interfere with wih the consummation of thc crime I lost my voice says sas Mrs In Pest slowly and determinedly d while a shudder runs through the t helpless gath gathering ering eringI I lost my voice saying thaUs tats good Start the final round of oC Jackpots jackpot says sa s the hostess stonily And this really realy is the only way of oC checking the champion of frayed ed phraseology |