Show WHAT IS WALL STREET Its Long Lens Lo Association on with New Neer York Hns Has Not H Helped It Any But But But- BY THOMAS L. L MASSON Wall street t a a. cense ot of humor HAS li Sho has been portrayed as M a a. nervous nervous nerv nerv- ous oua old lady starting at tho the noise afraid of or her own shadow had ow BO so timid that a change of wind Is likely ly to make mako her Jump out of or her skin But Dut she sho must have havo laughed at herself recently re recently recently re- re I when the ticker I people made a n mistake and sent out tho the wronG news about a supreme court decision several soy sev eral erM millions changing chancing hands In a short hour The Tho court decision was to the effect that stock dividends could not be taxed by tho the government Tho tickers ers were badly rattled and said that stock dividends could be e a taxed ed By tho the time timo the tho mistake had been rectified rec rec- some somo people were a n good deal I poorer Tho low muttered purses curses which emanate from a golf gol links when all 1111 four players got Into a bunker at atthe atthe the tIle same Barno time limo are aro as nothing at all nil to tho the sounds that rose from th the the- ex ex- exchanGe exchange change on tho the o occasion lon of or this blunder blunder blun bun der del on tho part of tho tickers Madam Wall street muttered to herself so 80 loud that sho ego could be heard clear across tho the continent and tho the abashed public pUblic from from which are arc tho the numberless lambs for Madam Walt Wall WallStreet's all Streets Street's luxurious table table blushed blushed with shame hamo to think It didn't even hL have hLo o a n alook alook look In during during- tho the proceedings 8 There are arc arca a n. great man many people who do not nol understand what Walt Wall aU street re really ly it It Some sa say say- It Is n a national vermiform appendix and antl ought to bo be removed Other Others declare that It t Is an au exhaust pipe and a n necessary outlet to keep tho the ship of from blowing blowIn blowing blow blow- In ing uJ up Wall l street Is 18 a a place ploce where you ou can buy and sell tell something you ou haven't got Jot with mone money that you yon au dont don't see from people that you never nC meet One man nods to another and either you OU are arc broke or you can go on en buying real too food Nobody sits ails down clown In Wall street yet et th the seats arc are worth about el eighty ht thousand t each You buy one for the I privilege e of ot standing up and antI throwing fit fits Tha The word or broker Is derived from broke which means that the only onh time timea a 0 broker Is broke In ix when ho he Is l la not nol nota a broker that that la Is when he becomes become a bull a IL bear or a L lamb As long an as ho does docs nothing but buy and sell Bell for others othe ho lie Is safe So No 10 broker will admit admIt admit ad ad- mit that he ho does docs anything else Yet most brokers do Many people also think that Wall str street et Is III a branch of or orthe tho the zoo In addition to tho the hulls hull bears nn and lambs Jambs the they have hao sharks and antl wild 1 cats Tho The animals are supposed to live on paper and aDIl to absorb large quantities of or water The public Is also tho the goat It will be seen from rom this that Wall Wallstreet Wallstreet street Is not al always w what It seems to be It Is not apparently U II a respecter of per persons person orul and yet ct It la is undoubtedly truer to some than to others It Is 9 mood moody variable fickle an as a weathercock weather weathercock I co cock ki and yet from hour to hour and from day to da day It declares It knows know s what everyone f Is worth in dollars TS and I cents centa no matter maUer how humble or remo remote that that- person ma may be It Il Is affected lJ bythe by bythe I the climate of Manchuria and th the e I feelings of ot folks in Indian and J Egypt t bear bear upon Its Us d decisions An atmos pressure over Icel Iceland nd or or- orR a R stab stab- I 1 bung affray In Bulgaria may through Wall street reach Into tho the homes o of f 1 America and send end little children sup sup- perlee to bed i i g A movement to aboU abolish h WallStreet Wall j Street has haJJ lon long been contemplated b by byi y I i highly Intelligent people For one I thing Wall street Is a part of oC No New NewYork w Noi York and ond it Is generally felt that th this i s leaves it JL open tt to grave suspicion If It however howe Instead of or being re ro- ro I It could bo be made to Include o millinery milliner ladles' ladles larm garments shoes as and d hosiery furs fun and jewelry and placed place d In charge of ot some lady as president who had her husbands husband's interest a aheart at t heart beart tho process of ot saving vIol this coun coun- I J try from financial rain ruin might hl be put pat on a n. business basis r At present a man may know at any I moment how mah many shares share of oC stock I have been bought ht and antI sold for or him and how haw much ho has won or lost but when ho comes homo home at night his wife's vICos financial transactions leavo leave him guessing A womans woman's Wall Vall street with the price of ot every hat listed would certainly add to the Joys JOs ot of home life lite besides lifting up the conversation conversation con con- of ladles Indies to the tho high level of or big business Two ladles would meet with the following fol tol- fol- fol l owing lowing results What do you ou think of ot ostrich plumes preferred Trifle Trine heavy Do you ou know anything any any- anything thing f bou bought ht a couple of ot beauties yesterday yesterday yesterday yes yes- on margin mars Im I'm looking for tor a abig abig abl bl big rise I r I suppose you'll ouli pyramid But Dul bo be careful and look out for a slump Parisien models models models' 4 second debenture stood mo me in for tor a n poInt 10 loss fortunately for for- I 1 made good on a B. sport skirt I sold short But I must say my dear the market Is soft and I advise you tobo to tobo tobo bo careful cardul Trust me mo for tor that But nut I must give you a piece picco of Inside n news ws You know Bessie Well WeB she sho tried to corner the tho market In husbands husbands' sack eack suits common Suddenly however someone omeo began a big selling movement move move- movement m ment ment nt th the bottom dropped out and 1 l 1 will take her hor months to recuperate Serves her herrl rl right ht to bother with male malo holdings s as ns for tor mo me I stick to toc l legitimate c offerings Men may have hav to stop slop wearing clothes at any time but even fn when women do o stop they will wll buy buy- them Just the tho same Wan Wall street Indeed Is but the narrowest narrowest nar nar- expression of ot a a. universal ac ac- tI It Wall all street expresses Itself only in dollars and ancl cents but hut It stands as nil a representative of oC the gambling Instinct Inherent In mankind And the singular part purt of ot It Is that the men who are arc cn engaged In It are oro quite Quito lar largely large large- e- e ly 1 philosophers As an an offset to tho the nervous nonous strain of tho the exchange they seek Keek outside methods ot of mental tran- tran umU I knew a n. broker devoted to the classics another who has a fine fino collection of or Whistlers These gentlemen gentlemen gentle gentle- men Indeed rarely talk business It la is anI only the called so-called trader the man who dabbles s whoso conversation con Is Interlarded with shorts and rutur futures s and antl Ups tips and private deals Human beings old and young youn r feelIngs feelings feel feel- In ings sentiments heart burnings Jealousies jealousies Jeal jeal- oude loves an and hates are aro bought and told cold over ocr every day In the great creat human mart Yet there As s no accredited Wallstreet Wall Wallstreet all street of af humanity as well there thero might be If It thero there were We wo might open our paper In the tho and read our market letter In human values Yesterday the tho market In human beIn beings beings be be- In ings s reached to various Influences man many of them Invisible and others morn mor apparent Politicians were Wro offered treel freely the bl bid and asked d quotations being far apart Toward noon there thero was a wide wido selling market mark t. t with little lItto support but accompanied by later lator rallies rallies ral ral- lies lieI resulting In substantial gains Slums Blums ruled firm there being no appreciable ap p diminution In the tho supply and child labor common comm was wall freely offered In largo quantities the tho demand however how how- over ever keeping the tho market well up Husbands Hus Hus- b bands preferred were among the attractions attractions at nt- tractions advancing ad some lome ten points under pressure sure and western rn buying or or- ders while suffragettes ette continued their popularity shown hown early in the tho week In the early arl afternoon there thero W was a distinct slump noab notably a a. fall In school teachers common demoralizing the tho tn- tn en tire Un list last military securities were ero also abo weak Amon Among the price high s special special- tics ties ver very closely held may bo be mentioned Society Queens and Debutante Flirts a a. largo Jarc pool In tho the latter lallor having been r I developed b by a n. few fow of ot our leading mil mil- Just before the close cloeo tho the market broke It Is tho the custom of or Various gentlemen gentlemen gentle gentle- men who like the side shows s around the tho main tent offer their wares to the public to H send 11 out week weekly financial letters In which tho the prospects for tor buIn buyIng buy buy- In lag Ing and selling arc are set forth with great skill It ee seems ma ms a n. sad lack of or business acumen on our aur part especially with I our commercial reputation that nobody nobody no- no no no- bod body has sought Bought to do this with regard res to tho those so matters which supposed to tom tomake tomake m make Ic us really happy happ or unhappy ItIs Its It ItIs i Is s not probable however that the rea rca reason reason son for this Is because no material re results results results re- re are arc brought Into Inlo view Yet ot after atler all all It Is not important that our future futuro gamble amble with fate tate should be reinforced lJ by the kindly services of ot tho the ex expert erL For lor example Our Weekly Human Service Letter Follow our advice closely and you ou will be bo well repaid Tho The prospect for early earh adjustment of ot all matters of tho the heart must bo be considered con con- considered red alon along wl with h the reports from tram osculation os osculation osculation os- os centers which bear out what We wo said Bald last ast week vampires still running running running run run- ning stron strong an and tho the cost of or domestic goods oos making all unions precarious While mothers mothers law law In-law an und and aunts continue continuo continuo con con- firm honeymoons have gone up anti and all s are at the owners owner's risk Wedding exchanges es aro arc lI el lively with few takers however and parents parent continuo continue to be active Great caution is advised ad stand pat being tho the order of tho the day ny especially In Great Britain a |