Show Big Big Fight Over Crap Game Grew from London Condon Bobbys Bobby's Lack of Sense of Humor nr Dr T WEILES Correspondence Universal Service ft T ONDON April CO If IC If this little SunI Sunday Sunday Sun- Sun L LONDON I J day row our sailors d ar doughboys bobbles hooked up with the London h here Jere re had hul occurred In Paris It would have haveres res resulted ted In what the solemn editorial writers call an International I Incident ent of or gravest importance As 5 It was with more Canadians and Australians In the up mix-up than to honest Yanks It was 81 just a n. beautiful row row which skirted on the tho th borders border of or unpleasant un un- plea pleasant nt con p to be sure but did dill not quite Quito touch them thorn Not ot to condone thIs this violation of or ft n friendly city's hospitality or wl wink l at tat atthe the very rude conduct of oC the sobs who started tho whole blooming row b by objecting to to being pinched ono who happened by good luck to be bo a witness witness wit wit- ness to the he whole may Y van ven venture n- n ture the opinion that there were two to f sots Rots of or gentlemen who vho were were- looking looking- for or trouble trouble and and both pot Jot all they Lad bad hoped for So everybody was satisfied d dand dI I and and that's thatA the end ont Naturally i somebody will m be made the goat zoat M MI as I we cans Americans say in our highly h rep rep- slang and It will not bethe bo be botho the tho Metropolitan police force Corea of Lon Lon- don But this minor fact tact Is the tho price th gobs and doughboys h havo vo to pay for or starting something in a city cast ol or orthe the tho Narrows They've tried It In pork cork and aDd they've tried trl d it in Liverpool and the results are arc always the same the thc the umpires rules against cm ern Hut But as ns u a smart amari coot cout who wore a temporary dressing where the top of oC hl his hair hiir 1 patch ought to ha have o boon been phrased It I We Re e gave e a these sparrow cops A run for Cor their mon money and we aint int pot gut no kick coming if H somebody hangs tho the I bl big Jinx onto us guys gus for the show hoa ho As a matter of or fact you ou know tho the whole fuss fus UM started 0 over 01 1 a H crap gamin game gam am amIn in a little alley back baek of oC the Eagle Io hut of tho the Shooting the crap some London papers h have called it and shooting the crab was tho ho wa wiy tho on one of oC the afternoon sl sheets let It go 10 by br the English n h hAvIng knowledge c of or orthe no deep deer and mastering mastering- the great preat American pastime As ts crap crall games go 10 It was not a vor very vary hefty pro proposition O nothing higher than n a sixpence being put up to rob Little LittleJoe Joe Joc of or shoes I I Hit III S nut Hut somebody In tho the Eagle hut but was wasI I mortally shock shocked d at the persistence o of this Sunday Sunda morning crap crap game when h n nood I good gobs should be lie lined up In a achurch achurch I. I church church pew and telephoned the Uio Bow Street police ponce station asking hat that a truly policeman be sent around to stop this violation of or tho the law The cop who camo came was a rough old grouch who must have missed his hu sugar from his mornings morning's cup o of coffee Other bluecoats from Bow Dow Street had strolled down Into the alley and prowled growled I Cm on now about bont your our business you ou scallywags scallywags' and the Eagle hut but backsliders backsliders back back- sliders had grinned and pocketed their bones But when the tho rough old grouch got I morning some back talk last Sunday Sunda m ho drew his truncheon no truncheon no policeman carries a cl club b In London Its It's a truncheon trunch trunch- eon eon and and started to fan tan tho the sailors who cussed him out Then trouble trouble- large larse bunches o of trouble I By the mercy of C the Park Row flow god sod who directs tho the footsteps of New York Tork reporters reporter I happened to walk down own the Strand at 1 o'clock and straight Into trouble Thoy They were milling It round In front of ot the Hotel Waldorf Waldor and tho the Strand theatre on street in as pretty a row as one would as ask I to see sec awa away from a n Timothy D. D Sullivan an chowder party part at Grove Grov Long Lon Island City Oddly enough tho ho first person 1 asked as to tho the and of or what was going on was a astock who was stocky stock little Australian wiping the thc blood from a wicked cut cuton cuton on his cheek He lie cocked his slouch hat at a a. rakish angle on his head bead and ana spoke poke winged words words' An we Explains now Row Its Ita the bloody bobbies bobbles wot starts th lh show said he They thinks they ther owns tho earth these London bobbies a a round roond with their chests thrown n out What did thc they do to help belp win th war I An here hero they starts mashin of oC th Tanks Yanks Us an an th Yanks Tanks Is friends an pals Wo We 0 busted the bloody blood line lino together at Lc Le Catelet Catelet- Sos So's when we cars ears th cry Mob blob C bl an sees secs th lh Yanks Tanks n- n a nellin ellin th wo worst wort t end ot we cuts in on th lh deal Me I Mc I bashed one bloody peeler to th kings king's s taste an pets Jets a a. crack on th arm from another's truncheon But Im I'm no casualty L Ere ereSo re So goes s for tor another crack at em ems SayIng Say Say- ins Ing which this Aus Australian kan kangaroo bounced into the fray ray alain again a picket torn from the l Eagle gle but hut fence his only weapon P Fence Fence- n Pout Pot for tor rapo Another tough guy puy u from the Antipodes An An- t Odes near at hand was struggling with a a. fence post well sunk Into the theroun ground around roun He heaved and he strained to yank ank the h heavy a timber from the ground round alone ho he complained to companions who had satisfied th themselves them them- mI m- m I selves es with pickets Yuh Tuh do anything with those penny jackstraws jack- jack straws Wot ot yuh uh wants Is some- some thin solid an hefty to bash basi em emIth Ith c Eventually 1 he dragged raS' raS ed the post from from tho the ground by bull strength th and dashed happily up the street with It The Tho So Robs gobs s and the doughboys meanwhile mean mean- while e ha had not been lapping lagging la Thero There were some very ven pretty prett fights bare riGhts bare fists against club with clubs winning winning win win- ning every e time Tho The London bobbles bobbies swing n a very rr wicked club speaking as a critic I have never seen a D. better na 1 away from San sm Juan Hill Hili or or New 0 NewYork NewYork York on a quiet Sunday afternoon Moreover they wear a helmet which must first be knocked off ort before a real wallop can be bo administered Preferred Fl 1 t to Go GOBI Gua I Hotheads urged that somebody be besent besent sent nt Into the Eagle Kagle hut but hu to get ct guns guns Juns- known to have havo been recently deposited there by a n. bunch of or men leave Just Justin justin in from France But for or the tho eternal I le hea of or the Anglo S Saxon Anglo xon be it said that this Idea did not I catch f on n n. n Whether Canadians Australians Australians Aus Aus- or Yanks the boys bOs wh who were j battling tho the hobbies bobbles preferred not to tot toI tomake t I ma make e It a shooting affray affra Not entirely devoid old of ot humorous I elements was one ono development of nf the I I ruction Not two hours after the affray affray af at- fra fray was over tho the Canadian Military I headquarters In London sent to th the newspapers and American news association association asso asso- elation an denial that any Canadian soldier had any my part In the unfortunate occurrence But next morning both the Mirror and the Sketch Illustrated dally daily papers displayed displayed dis dis- played on OIL their front page photographs photographs photographs photo photo- graphs showing a Canadian soldier getting what is ts vulgarly known in the States as the bums rush at nt tho the hands of a n bobb bobby And the first person person per per- son lion call called ll to answer cr In the police court was Wa alas a Canadian soldier |