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Show The Meaning of Patience. Tha teacher naa teniae 1I1.1 meaning mean-ing of pntlcnce to the nmxll boy, so. after enphiinlni! thiit imtlence was waiting for things coutenttdly, she aid: "Now, suppose you wanted something some-thing very much, and your mother eouldn't give It to you Juat when you asked for It, what would she sayf" "She'd any, "(So away and don't bother me!'" said the boy. I Aft-r the Event. niatirhe- THI n'c. 1'lnrrnt.. how Fri-ik happened lo kl-i son. Fli r nee- It wh Mn.li-r funny. You 'e. Krmil! -'l c,i me If I was fond nf Vl'ilns. I ilc t 111,.- to show my Ik-rnniticc, Ik-rnniticc, an I nu lit, "Oh, yea, awfully font! of It." Illanrlie- And then? Florence - Then be kissed me. But 'tween you nnd me, lllnnche. my answer an-swer was right, after all. PROOF. Mrs. Rafferty Mike was a Sna aa' considerate husband. Mr. O llourke la that ao? Mrs. Rafferty Y la. He always bit me wld th' soft end of th broom. Had tha Right Idea. Mrs. En peck I think. Henry, that our daughter has made a very aatla-faetory aatla-faetory marriage, and that ahe will aucceed very well In tha management of ber husband. Henry Enpeck Why do you think aof Mrs. Enpeck I overheard ber talking talk-ing to him thla morning, and she got him toBKreo to a proposition like this; "If you will do aa I want, I promise to do the same." Knew What Ha Would Want Clerk I am lo be married ahnrtly. Couldn't you mnnago to Increaae my aalsry a little? Employer Couldn't, really. But 11 tell you whnt I'll do for you. my boj. I'll shorten your hours during tla Irst three months so that you em apend your evenlnga at borne, an! after that I'll lengthen them again. that you will have an axousa to g4 away. In Arizona. The Coroner Have you any Idea what caused the stranger's death? Broncho Pete Yep. He died from heart (nibble. The Coroner Are you ure? Broncho Polo 8nrtenly. Tha heart wua a ace an' be bad It up bli tlucve. Beet Ready for Action. Miles I understand Knox and Howell How-ell have at last burled tha hatchet and are working together for political advancement. Ollea ) h; may have burled tha hatchet, but I'll bet each of them has hammer up b: aieeve. Such Dear Frianda, Too. Clara I'll tell you a aecret, dear. If you'll promise never to repeat It Maude All rlpht Out with It Clara Fred proposed to ma last Ight Maude Oh. any, doeant he do M awkwardly, though? Force of Habit 1 appreciate the fact that Toa have honored me with a proposal," aald the dear girl, "but are yo aure your love for ma la tha real thing?" "Perhapa not." frankly replied the young drug clerk, "hut It la lea ex-penalve ex-penalve and Just aa good." HlB Philosophy. "How la It. old man. that whenever I pasa you way. you're Just adaaclng la the aunshlne?" "IIIobb Oodt" exclaimed tha old darky. "I got ao much trouble. I Jest baa to dance!" Atlanta Commotion. Wanted Distance. "Do you think I am capable of playing play-ing a part?" BBkod the BtaKe-atrucIt youth. "I do." replied the bury manacer; "and the farther apnrt wo are when you act tho hotter It will anil me." Tha Cynical Spinster. "If you were married." mild the Hummer Hum-mer girl, "would you believe every, thing your himbnnd told ynuT" "No," answered MIhs Cayenne, "hut for the snho of pence In the family I'd make him believe I bellevod It" Why 8ha Couldn't. Doctor- "I see what the mutt" l. It's dyspepsia. All you Imvo to 'io In laugh heartily before and after 'nch menl." ! Mrs. nilnkB "Iniposallile. I spl Mio meals niynoif and wash tho dl-iM'- Pasture Repartee. First Lamb "Well, how do e llliu the wether, my buck?" Second I-umb "Huh! You're trying to pull the wool over my eyei, but I'm too young to flocco." Presents From Cuba for Hla Wife. . "Yea, I have Just returned from Cuba," aald J. 0. Con tin nth ton last night "1 brought hack with mo some nice presents for my wire What are thoy? Well, a box of clnnra. a fine pannma hat and an old Spanlah pipe. "Do I think aim will enjoy such presents? pres-ents? Well, why not? IjihI Chrlmmne he gave ma a buttle of perfume, a fur mud and a lady's diamond ring" Resourceful Widow. Mrs. llnnua So that pretty widow Is really nmrrled so soon agnln, eh? Old Uiinga Yes. Mrs. Hangs lint her late htinband'a will expresaly stipulated that If ahe took a second husband her legacy waa to revert to hla most distant relative. Old Bangs That's whore aha waa foxy. Klin hunted up tho relative and married him. Righting a Wrong. I "But," ahe protested. "1 have been I told that you are a reformed rake." "Tla false," he repllod. "Why, I never even thought of reforming." Asked and Answered. Little Willie What's a cannibal, 'pa? Pa One who lovea his fellow man, my son. To tha Point. "What are you hero for?'' Inquired I Din priNon visitor. ; "For two reiiHiin.H." replied tho Hob- . ton bnrninr "1 was k nt hero for j l.reaKlriK In: I'm "till I"'1'" '"' '" ! reason Mint I linvo not broken out." j Between Friends. j Frod-Tl.o Kin I inn onmim-d lo l very poor: In fuel, bi.m Inini t any-j I tlilni; at all. Joo Thut's loii'ih. And "h" will I I l.ava aat 111 I.-, iii'ler she umrrlea you. I Not a S.ile Bet. "Yes. my h..v." said the parson dur-IrR dur-IrR a rill, ns lie laid hla band on the family bible, "every word In Ihla book Is true." "Well, I know the words are true," rejoined tho nine ynuhCTter, "but I wouldn't advise you lo hot on tho flKiirea alMer has been monkeying with on the futility record page." Chatting at Breakfast Time. "Confound this breakfnst food," roared Htohhs, bringing hla flat down on the table like a trip hammer. "I want ep.Rn! 1M you henr? Kgga!" "That's rlcht." sold Mra. Btubba. "I Ilka to aee you mako an aas of yourself." your-self." "I aupiHise yon do, madam. You think If I'm an asa I ran cat oata." Enough of Trouble. "I suppose you will marry when yon grow up," aald the visitor. pleasantly. "No." replied the thoughtful little girl Innocently. "Mamma aaya papa la more care than the children, ao I guess the care of my children will be enough for me without the care of a husband." Hla Explanation. "But why," 1 asked tho good wife, "are you so anxious to aecure the top flat In that ten-story apartment house?", "Itoonuae" explained the bonaehold freight payer, "the elevator would ha a grenl help lo ua In bringing up the children." Fine Finish. Got It at Once. j "Fact la." aald the one man, "I : married because I was lonely, aa much ; aa for any other renson. To put It i tersely, 1 married for sympathy." 1 "Well," suld the other man, "you i have mine." Iiondnn Tit lllla. i Mlaunderatood. ! "I.uk henh. ItemiiH. how It ib Ab ' doan see yo' at meetln" eny mo'?" I "Why, do pnwaon Insulted me." "How so? He only aed: 'Cum on, yo horny-handed sons oh toll.'" i "Ah thought he aed 'hornoy-bendod.' Dat mesne old Halan." j A Bleep Walker. Newltt Hes a somnambulist j Poploy I gueaa you might call ma one, too, Newltt Why. surely you dont walk In yoor sleep? Popley Oh. no; but I walk tba baby In hla sleep. Now They Dont Speak. "No man could kiss me," said Miss Plalnun. with declndod emphaala. "Oh, I don't know," rejoined Miss Dimples. "Some man are awfully reckleaa." EASY. Mra. Ilenton Holme Doctor, my huMband'a heart henta very weakly. Dr. Phil (iraveH--I'll boob atop that Such Inconstancy liu I wonder If thoro la another girl In thu whole world ho aweet as my littles sweetheart? HJio What's that. How dnre you think of ani'thi r iilrl? I shan't spoak to you for a week. Stray Blorles. The Scare That Failed. Edgar Thorn are 3ii.OH0.u00 microbes mic-robes In one plnio of Ice crenin, Ethel Oh, let'a have aomel How delightful lo c,''t no much of anything fur if 's'Sie Honey! |