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Show "1 suppose Hint when jou go home M jour rather will kill the fatted calf';" "I wouldn't wonder," replied the prod- BVJ Ignl son, "but I'm afraid he might H think I'm It." -Houston l'ost, H "Fa, why i'o jou alwajs Insist on my H singing when Mr. Sivonlcton comes H here?" "Well, 1 don't like the fellow, H and jet I hate to coino tight out nnd H tell hlui to go," Chicago Itecord-Hur- H "So your wife does not approve of H bnsehallV" "No," answered Mr. Meek- H ton. "Henrietta en n't stand It to see H any mere man bossing people around H the way the umpire docs." Wnslilne H ton Star. H If "money talks' H I wonder why 1 only hear HBl It say "unod-liy." Philadelphia Public Ledger. "There are test many grafters In tho H world," said tho patriotic citizen, H "Unquestionably," nnsweied Senator BH Sorghum, "l'relty soon there won't H he enough graft lo go 'round." Wash- BH liiglou Slur. BH "Why," asked Ihe fat policeman, "do BV jou any the prisoner Is a mnirled BH man)" "Heeauso," replied tho great Bfl detective, "he Is wearing safety plus Bfl Instead of suspender buttons." Hart- Bfl ford Teb gram. Bfl "Young Kallow's time seems to be BJ fully occupied Just now," "How's Bfl thnt? lie has Just left college, nnd Bfl he (Qilnlnly hasn't gone to work yet." Bfl "No; but he's raising n mustnebe." B9 Philadelphia Ledger. B "Ami when jou told lilm I wns mnr- H rlcd," said the girl who had Jilted him, Bfl "did ho seem to bo sorry?" "Yes," re- Bfl Idled the other, ''ho snld ho was very Bfl sorry-althotigb ho didn't know the Bfl man personally." l'hllndelphlii Led- Bfl - r B Kdwln "I'm poor, denrest. We shnll Bfl have to live very simply." Angellnn BJ "Why, of course! When we're mnrrlcd Bfl 111 golf and yacht Just lots! Ilccauso BB one can do those things In such simple dresses, you know." Chicago Daily BJ BJ Stranger "Is the cashier of the local bnnU n tall man?" Natlve-"Fhyslcnlly H speaking, yes." Slrungor-'Tliyalonlly H speaking!" NnlIvo-"Yes; otherwise ho Is short-something like fno.iKK). H That's why be has taken n trip HB abroad."-Chlcago Dally News. Bfl "It's funny," said the little pig, "Tiny didn't build me right, And make my stomach just as big As is my uppetue." -Philadelphia 1'rcM. Miss McCall-"So that's really yout family coal-of-nrius?" Miss Nevvilch BH -"Yes." Miss McCall-"Wlml's that BJ queer device lu the centre?" Miss HB Newrlch-"Why-er--Hiat's pn's trade- BJ murk. Ho Insisted upon ringing Hint In." I'liltnilolplila Ledger. "Hraekett, It appears, was unable to BH got Into any of tho college fralern- Bfl Hies. Why was he so unpopular?" "Oh, Bfl I guess the hoys didn't like him he- Bfl cause ho studied so hard that his pitch- lug sulTcreil, and the team lost most BJ of the games when he was In the box." BH -Chicago llecord-Heinld. Bfl |