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Show THE ZEPHYRDECEMBER 1995 PAGE 16 ack in my ranger years at Arches, I used to dream of the day when I had the park all to myself.. J imagined that all the tourists and even my acres of fellow employees had magically disappeared. Seventy-thousan- d rock, junipers, critters, and me. It was selfish, of course, and hardly in the public's best interest, but I really didn't care. Just once, I wanted to experience True Solitude at Arches National Park. My only hope for such a miracle was a government shut down. Even then, the Congress frequently threatened to close the government down (and thus the parks) but they always ended up working out some kind of a last minute deal. It came down to a matter of hours once; I was even told I was "essential personnel," which made me proud as punch. It meant I'd be able to stay on the payroll and drive around an empty park, in search of would-b- e park interlopers. Those were the days when I was still young and really mean it. But an eleventh hour enough to be Congressional compromise once again killed my dream. I left the Park Service, never realizing that dream. And then it all came to pass, nine years later. Because Newt Gingrich had self-righteo- us People still in the campground could remain, but no new visitors were allowed to enter. He expected the park to assume a "hard closure" mode in the next couple of days if the shutdown continued. He was right. By the weekend, the park was closed to everyone. All the campers had been driven from the place and the gate on the main road adjacent to the visitor center was locked up tight. I was indignant. Rotating a good 180 degrees in attitude but with the same self righteousness I felt all those years ago, I was now outraged that these lazy, government employees were going to all this trouble to keep me out of my park. I knew they were getting a good chuckle out of this; after all, these used to be "my people." They were probably hunkered down under a tree somewhere, catching a little nap while they drew their pay...probably the same tree I used to hunker down under. Get your own damn tree, I'd like to tell those uniformed monkey boys (and girls). Anyway, after careful deliberation and the fact that I've been feeling a little on the edge lately...OK, really on the edge lately, and also because once again I had nothing to write about this month, I decided to try to get myself do-nothi- ng West Entrance: The sign said 'Keep Out to sit on the back of the President's plane (and a few other points of contention between Wild Bill and the Republicans) the government shut and were sent home, down, bureaucrats discovered they were and Arches National Park closed its gate to the public. I drove out to the park the day following the announcement and found two rangers at the entrance station, including Chief Ranger Jim Webster. Webster informed me they were in a "soft closure" stage for the time being. non-essenti- Cg al Taking a nap on the highway at Balanced Rock... The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of. arrested for illegally entering a national park. I hoped for the whole nine yards, in fact. I wanted to be apprehended, cuffed, placed in an official Park Ranger Law Enforcement Police Cruiser and driven to the federal magistrate to be "processed." There was no way to get through the main gate. I wasn't prepared (at this time) to cut the padlock with my bolt cutters and get charged with petty vandalism as well. The day I commit an act of vandalism, I want it to be BIG! But knew there are other ways to penetrate the park perimeter, so I drove north on 191 to the old entrance road, a dirt track that is now accessible only by 4WD. On the way in, I encountered Don Holyoak and his wife. They were herding their cows to another allotment and Don I although abhors heart, my bleeding generally philosophy, he supported my plan to get myself arrested 100 percent. "Stiles," he said, "if you get arrested by those damn rangers, I'll come bail you out." Knowing that at least one cowboy was prepared to post my bond, I sallied forth with new confidence and conviction. Grinding slowly across the bare slickrock and in and out of dry gullies, I finally came to the west entrance. Blocking the road and flanked by yellow pylons was a white "road closed" barricade with a personal message from the park superintendent Noel tal Poe: Every ranger's dream: an empty campground. PARK CLOSED DUE TO FEDERAL BUDGET SITUATION SORRY! |