Show T j I I The e Conquests on saes s o of C Constance ens once I 1 f 1 SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR AT THE H HOTEL TEL RICH EICH 1 I 1 1 I I BY ALMA WOODWARD RD 1 t T T ht t 1113 bj- bj Tte rr Press s I n. n TilE THE FORTUNE E TELLER I I Cit a n headache moaned tho I I S I Phone Maid clamping tho the pretzel pretzel- I 1 like knobs on her ears J I What from I asked concisely Jj Did OU over ever a you I have a a. drink drink- pale pink mostly J with little bubbles bubbles bub bub- bubo J bles In It It an an's an Constance I s shrieked in n alarm alamo She am smiled 11 od wearily Tc i Sounds batt batty At 13 10 a. a tn m. with wl h tho the sun Bun dont don't If It it But It lives jus jux the thc same anI nn an I helped kill WH one ov the tho rac race e last Jut night Hist Its name A Bulgarian Bagatelle Tuh Yeth know everything everything's s Bulgarian rib nowadays bono bone blouses hats bats an an ever everything e thing So why not drinks drinks' Welt Well Well did It did tt cr did Jt It Jl me Oh no like that Its It's one ono uv u thorn them drinks that tha t dont don't carry no bonus bonus- Its It's a n. pe penance o frum tho the very beginning First rho when whon on n yuh uh look at It yer or artistic eye I IsI la Is s I bruised fierce b by the pin pink l sk k an blue an on the lUllo fringe e uv Nile till green around tho the edge Then when n yuh set to It yuh begin t to wonder what society the In Inventor Inventor inventor In- In uv u It blon cd to An yuh ke keelon keep keel p on It In Jus jus' because yuh Juh uh aint ain to bo called 3 a a. quitter an an al althe aUthe all aU 1 the time yer dreams uv a raise In salary sal sal- salary ary ry an au maybe of It a a. millionaire In th the a offing otting pets gets less an nn less It Jus' Jus rip rips El I every pipe yuh ever got together r to An after arter given It t shelter Wr fir a a. a few minutes yuh begin t I I I I I 1 Jj J J s i 13 I t Co the theeR I eR CW cw Tort World to want to tell tel the the man at the next table to go homo home an tell teU his mother that yuh uh hate hate his whole family How ill you Ou must feell I soothed No not ill Hl I feel like I per per- perfectly able to move Grants Grant's tomb a 3 few Cew feet nearer the river It If It'd Ud benefit tho the city nn any but I feel so 50 cussed mean I feel lIko I could invent tho the grandest instrument uv torture today what tt uz o over ver invented The Thc Iron ho bo a s wrap compared to tott what hat I could build out uv IV m my brain brain Well considering considering- youre you're In that mood Isn't t there some Borne one you have havo a trudge grudge against that you'd like to tell ten mo me about today Sure The fortune teller One afternoon afternoon aft aft- some one ono gumshoed up behind no mo nn an whispers in my ear car 1 t will read cad the tho stars starR an an tell tho the you OU co complexion com com- uv uw yer yet future husband husband Well ell It it glue give mo me a oil shock because It i jus us' us two days das after I 1 sot the thc bald old Cuban uban planter loose loose- An his complexion com corn always my touchy point Jean In toward tho the cafe cate parfait as ns It did So I called caned this gU guy down good an hard fer ter to me meho who ho wu a stranger to him But yuh uh couldn't a hurt his with a gob Iob uv 1 jus jus' So he Us- Us stuck an an went k me qUick ck on in n his half me quick way wat until I forked over a Do dollar tel far goin to him ilm to tell teU me I wu cross s some mo water with a a. dark man an get to a no light lady Indy what to make mako trouble Well when i he ho dug up that d exchange for P up dope T c In tn my fifty naturally I 1 Peeved so ho said sald If It Id I'd to his studio 9 around d hed he'd tell mored me nW a 3 lot more fer a n n. quarter extra rI I game Iame I went An by gosh he fell right in off the tho reel far fer my my peerless beauty an an wouldn't t take no money fer far the fortune fortune for for- tune at all all' Then he began to hang around w for mo me to ho got more moie an nn an come out an more confidential o finally he let mo me Int into the until the secrets ts Uthe u U Ho had a little room with fow few cappers tappers always a In It It dames d cl look 0 they too Along comes a cu customer tomer fussy at to wait walt so ISO long an gets geta burdens her soul to one uv the tho unburdens un un- unI I cappers tappers Then when it comes her turn she she's a so eo excited she forgets what t she oho told out side Geel Gee I It wu a n. cinch His is rates a dollar for tor six months' months fortune fortuna two fer ter a 11 year three fer for five years an five fo fer a lifetime An thc they'd d for fork k up the tho tl e fl a an an como come back In six months months to see Bce whether he couldn't couldn t rake up a better lifetime for fer cm Well WeB all uv a R. sudden Budden the city begin n to enforce the Il vs la-vs about fortune fortuno tell tell- ors ore ers rho The woods IH JH full fun Uv U women do do- do teethes an ho gets pinched Ho telephoned telephoned telephoned tele tele- phoned fer me to come down to court Cour ih i I Ian an go o the tho two hundred ball hall ball me with wit h a fl nickel on my person person person per per- son So I did a 8 mean thing I wrote e Yuh Tuh charge chargo a n. dollar fer fey a no cl six x months' months fortune Im I'm I oin to bo be gon gen erous orous cull an nn give yun uh yours fer nix Its It's stripes what run round a n little e hammer r. r n lJ little stone t ne an coffee In Q a l I im tin cup O O l nurse I I ISAY SAY NOT MOT TilE THE STRUGGLE NAUGHT A 7 Say Bay not tho struggle naught Tho labor and the wounds are vain The enemy faints not nor And as things have o been they remain It If hop hopes s wore dupes fears may be liars It may be In yon yen on smoke make Your Tour comrades chase een now In I fliers And Anel but for you possess tho the field For the tired waves vainly breaking Seem hero ro no no painful Inch to gain Tar Far back through creeks and Inlets making Comes silent flooding In In tho the main Ah not by eastern windows only When da daylight light comes comes in the light In front the sun c climbs slow alow how bow 13 But BUi tat westward look took tho the land Is right bright Arthur hur Hugh T Clough Chough 1810 Brazil the largest of Amer ican lean countries has a population of and an area arca o of 0 square In miles lc v |