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Show ' Hannibal cross Ihe Alpt, my littlo man? My Little Man For the same reason rea-son a.i the 'cn crossed th' road. Yer don't catch me- with no puzzles. Sidney Sid-ney Buletln. severity. It seemed to hurt the child's feelings considerably, la the afternoon after-noon the little girl sat on the sofa Btarlug vacantly out of tho window, apparently wrapped In meditation. The mother relented and, comiug over to the side of the little girl, placed her hand on the child's shoulder and asked: "What arc you thinking about, dear?'' "1 'uz jus finkin'," said the little girl, ' If I want six or eight bridesmaids." brides-maids." Ev cry body's Maguziue, A True Gift for Fiction. In a New Iiruuswick village a town character who preferred emphasis to the varieties was a witness in a potty trial involving an auger. He positively posi-tively identified It as the property (ot the parties to the suit "But," asked tho attorney for the other side, "do you fewear that you know this auger?" "Yes, sir " "How long have you known it?'' he continued. '1 have knokn that auger," said the witness. Impressively, "ever since it was a gliuleL" Everybody's Magazine. JUST FOR FUN The Natural Deduction. His waistcoat was wonderful. His tie was tremendous. His socks were positively superhuman. superhu-man. In order to display which, his trousers trous-ers were tucked up to a ludicrous height. An urchm plucked him by the sleeve. "Lost somebody, guvnor" queried the youth sympathetically.0 The swell swelled with indignation. "Of course not, fellow!" he responded respon-ded contcmplotudy. proceeding on his way. "Cat or dog dead, guv'nor?" querried ' the youngster, following. "Bah Jove!" snapped the "nob," dls-tinctly dls-tinctly annoyed. "Why do you ask such stoopid questions.?" "Why? guvnor," called the urchin, "Cos I see yer got ycr trouaies at 'arfmast!" Answers. The Flatterer, They were discussing ages with a commendable degree of frankness. "Well, now that you have brought tho subject up. Miss Dobbson." said Age Brings Experience. Old Lady I want you to take back that parrot you sold me. 1 find that it swears very badly. Bird Dealer Well, madam. It's a very, young bird. It'll learn to swear better niter it's a bit older." Kery Woman's Magazine. Sizing Him Up. Never Jud-e a mm bv his clothes In this life. Yon ran judge a fellow by those Of hls wife. Kansas City Journal. Idea of Helpfulness. "Some men's idea of beln' helpful In dis world." said Uuel Kbeu. "Is Intlre-ly Intlre-ly confined to helpin' derselfs." Washington Star. On His Guard. Teacher (to new pupil) Why did Utile Ftibley, "how old are you'" "Oh. I am us old as I look," smiled Miss Dolihson. "Really?" said Frlbley 'I am astonished as-tonished You really don't look It, you know." Harper's Weekly. A Deserved Catastrophe. Our neighbors had a graphophoue, And kept it going night and day, Until its loud, provoking tone Took all our joy and peace away. Last night Is sang the song. "Take me Take me from this most dread adobe!" Did we obey? Well, you may sec-Some sec-Some telltale bits along the road. c.icago News. "Make Vay for Liberty." A fond mamma had found occasion during the morning to reprimand her small daughter with more thau usual t |