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Show A Daring Feat. Snooks was one of those conceited,, make-believe hold hunters, and was ilways spinning his yams about his experiences in Africa, and he general, y wound up by saying he never yet saw a Hon he feared. One night al-:er al-:er he had finished yarning, he was a little taken aback by one of his audience, audi-ence, who said: "That's nothing. I have lain down and actually slept among lions in their wild, natural state." I don't believe that, I'm no fool," said the bold hunter. "It's the truth, though." "You slept among lions in their wild, natural state?" "Yes, I certainly did." "Can you prove it? Were they African?" "Well, not exactly African lions. They were dandelions." An Awkward Situation. A visitor to a hospital for soldiers, was surprised to hear one of the patients pa-tients being addressed hy the nurses, by his christian name, it toeing customary cus-tomary to address patients by their surnames only. Upon inquiry as to-why to-why this distinction was accorded to-the to-the particular soldier referred to, Hie. reply received was. "Well, we can't well call him hy hie surname." "But why not?" queried the somewhat some-what astonished visitor. "You see," was the overwhelming; answer, " his surname is Love, and it's, rather awkward." Tit-Bits. He Knew. The landlady of a well-known boarding board-ing house always made a point of asking ask-ing departing guests to write something some-thing in her visitors' book. She was. very proud of it of some of the pec pie whose names were in the volume-and volume-and the nice things they said. "But there's one thing I can't under-stand," under-stand," the woman confided to a friend, "and that is what an American Ameri-can put in the book after stopping: here. People always smile when they read it." "Wliat -was it?" queried the other. "He wrote only the words, 'Quo.h. the raven 1 ' " Wealthy. The boys were bragging about their parents. "I bet my father is richer than, your father," said one. "He has to-pay to-pay lots and lots of money for taxes-every taxes-every year." "That's nothing," retorted tha other. "My father is so rich that he can afford to hire a lawyer to fix things so he don't have to pay any taxes." Still in the Market. The centenarian was being eagerly eager-ly interview by reporters and wa asked among other things to what he-attributed he-attributed his long life and good-health. good-health. "Wall," the old man replied, slowly. "I'm not in any position to say right now. You see, I've been bargaining with two or three of them patent medicine medi-cine concerns for a couple of weeks, but I ain't quite decided yet." The Motive. "My wife is crazy to learn to skate." 1 don't blame her. It's fine exercise." exer-cise." "That's not the reason she is so-keen so-keen about it. She wants a chance to wear some of those swell skating costumes cos-tumes she's seen in the fashion papers." pa-pers." His First Attempt. "Jim told me last night that I " the only girl he had ever kissed." "Did you believe him?" "Yes. And so would you if you had seen the awkward way he weDt about it." The Idea. "What's a philanthropist, pa?" "He's a variety of things, my son, but oftenest he's a man who robs Peter of his savings to pay Paul's rent." Baltimore American. Most Likely. Bix By the way, who is, or, rather, was, the god of war? ' Dix I've forgotten the duffer's name, but I think it was Ananias. Indianapolis In-dianapolis Journal. One Way Out. "The- Smiths used to have a splendid splen-did cook." "Yes, but she and Mrs. Smith ' could not' get along." "Dear me! s0 1 suppose" Smith nad-to nad-to discharge hsr?" "Oh, no. He divorced his wife." No Use for Him, Visitor. -We are getting up a raffl for an old soldier. Won't you buy a-ticket? a-ticket? Miss InnotenA. Mercy, no! What" would I do with hiui Jester. |