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Show President Wilson is exceedingly fond of detective stories. When all others fail to please Try Denlson's Coffee. Over 52 per cent of the population of Pennsylvania is occupied in some 1 gainful occupation. Sticks In His Crop. "What's Badger looking so sour over?" "He was forced to swallow his pride and he can't digest it." Turtle With Two Heads. Ever see a living animal with two heads? No? Then you should see Eugene Smith's little turtle. It was caught in the Pee-Dee swamps and has two well-developed heads, each separate separ-ate and distinct from the other. Smith declares that the turtle eats with both heads. Mullins (S. C.) Dispatch to New York World. When the Worm Turned. "Your honor," declared Officer Mc-Pherson, Mc-Pherson, "I heard an awful yellin' back in the wagonyard, and when I got there this man was beating his wife." Judge Broyles turned sharply on tha prisoner, a tall, gaunt farmer, with clay-colored complexion. "Is this true? Were you beating your , wife, sir?" the judge demanded. , "Yes, your honor." "How did you come to do it?" i "Lord knows, jedge. For twenty years she alius wuz th' one what did th' beatin', but I Jes' happened ter catch her when she wasn't feelln' right." Case and Comment. Good Riddance. Andrew Carnegie said at a luncheon In his Fifth avenue mansion overlooking overlook-ing Central park: "The captain of industry has disappeared disap-peared and good job, too. "I refer, of course, to that type of captain of industry which is lampooned lampoon-ed in the tombstone story. " 'Did you hear about the horrible, horrible defacement that has happened hap-pened to the tombstone of the captain of industry, poor old Trillions?' said a banker. " 'No,' said his companion. 'What did the defacement consist of?' " 'Some scoundrel added the word "friends" to the poor fellow's epitaph.' " 'Yes And what was the epitaph?' " 'It was. "He did his best." ' " |