Show M t M im M M K telephone directory director y it vs encyclopedia f y by RING LARDNER i v e to like hit editor they beems to be a few people in th the e united states that belll thinks we babul jUb tilled or something bonn la ID declaring war on germany but I 1 grebs thebe biche bids would feel different it if they stopped flopped to mink that it was waa a germau that invented the telephone lione and e if 11 louvain and the sinking ot of the louisiana wua was a crime what about the Inen invention tion of tin the telephone which comes from the 2 greek words tele meaning nieu ning far off and phone meaning bemid and maybe it if Is on acal of me in ID great neck which far ar frow from tile the sound why maybe that la Is why hy the telephone service so BO well you know I 1 when a man stops to think that the telephones are invented by a herman german why you cant help but believe tile the brebt about them tor for insl hist inventing tear car gas und and etc but not only that hut but it also belowa how bow vs democracy they was when they invented something that but nobody but only tile the leisure class clasa can use because for insl I 1 and you could not cot uewl afford it even if 11 v we e only figured our time lime tin on loc per hr which nobody gets as little its as that now low days only the president ol of harvard college or a soldier or something F for or insl if I 1 am out here in ID great neck and want to talk to somebody in N X Y city why it only cost ine about to gu go down there ind see them a hy if I 1 telephoned it would be suc for the call and 2 i days to put it through and it if I 1 worked on a 8 hr br basis on we luc per hr why that would be a total of for or the 2 days that it took tor for them to put the telephone call all through where I 1 could go down and bee them and get back in 3 hrs or some such figure but in the case of the leisure class its different as tile alie only real work they half to do the whole yr around Is make out their income tax blanks which only takes 3 months to figure out how they can beat the goal and if it was riot not for the telephone they know what to do the rest of their time where cs as now when they get tired 1 poker and bridge and etc and have bae got a few days left on their hands bands why all as they half to do to kill a couple of days Is try and get somebody on oil the telephone but I 1 dont want my genial readers to think this crabby article means that I 1 dont hold no brief tor for the telephone company on the other hand if it was biot for is a german invent inventing lug the lie telephone houe why they of been no do american indenting the telephone directory which la Is the greatest institution we got left here from a amusement pt pl of view the telephone directory has never been gae the credit it deserves and per sonly I 1 have got 1 regret in n life aich which is that I 1 dant diant keep all the telephone directories which was ever gave to we me as it would sane sae me from buying a cyclopedia dla which costs SU a case which opposed to a telephone directory that dont cost nothing it if you ever get it and has got 8 or 9 times as many names in it and besides that the names in the cyclopedia dla Is goco 80 dead compared comp nied to the names in the telephone directory which Is only 80 dead when you try and call them up oil I 1 alsi wished webbed I 1 could bilag ath a modem vol to prove my assertions but unfortunately the only telephone books I 1 got in ili the house Is the latest one flow great neck where you already know kaow the number of the alie grocery store and the butcher shop and the taxi cab co and mr wh abi loans you money and also the N Y city telephone directory of may 2 1917 and I 1 suppose if I 1 hie here a couple more bearc they will ghe we me a october book of 1917 and keep me up to date so I 1 will halt half to prote proe my point if any by quoting from the N Y city telephone directory of may 2 1917 us as follows as they any in ili the kirbt place it says that usefull information can be found on page inge 17 so aou ou turn to faye 17 and the first thing filing that strikes you in the eyeball Is a ad that says we sell artificial limbs limbo that lit JIL well suppose that some morning you was MUS to wale wake up and have a craning cra eing tor for a artificial that fit you nod and you know how to go about it to get one und they was waa not no telephone directory in fit the home hoine why here would you be nt at you would half to call up and ask for information which Is another w word rd for practical juhe joke and they would woul d finely ile give you a firm that sold artificial limbs that coule come near fitting and you would buy I 1 bud and half to walk dim down dimo o the st it all out oui of kilter and people would look at you aud and make you feel like a tool foot un on page age 22 they hey give you information for or telephone tiger users which they dont cluan cluing Is useful but it says you can call allon free of charge and also the co wants criticism but it should always be made by telephone aby hy by the tinie you reach the iho party it would be 8 3 or 4 yrs ars later inter and the Binni gement would of changed all told it bool s to me 1110 like the telephone which was maile made in germany was enough excuse fillus fight lug jug them altere as tile hie telephone directory which was anade lit in Amerl ci Is a that mint ought to go down lu 10 hi citory tory like Hi ickleberry finn or cancy junes iones or soui something ething 1 S the book also says that they lisne imie tl gil rist ri st browns for operators but dont say nothing almu I 1 rest booma tot for balds fit it 11 eal til lit lip lal 41 b lb ilk owl te ine inc |