Show I IT IS AN OPEN SECEET THAT MAPLESOIT never intended Ravelli should sing in Salt Lake THAT MAPLESOS never yet fulfilled his promises to a Salt Lake audience THAT SOCIAL events during the present week have been few and far between THAT A resignation docs not consist of a promise to go out when kicked out THAT HAETE of the Tribune is well pleased with his newfound respecta ility THAT THE local scribe of the Twinllt I is said to have been forced into his present position THAT THERE are several Bore heads in town over the recent confirmation of Postmaster Browe THAT THE coining benefit concert for I Willard Weihe promises to be amos artistic v performance THAT TUE sight ofa telegraph messenger mes-senger boy is allsufficient to throw some of the remaining F 0 Hs into a spasm THAT THE Salt Lake dudes are already looking to the securing of the front rows during the coming Mary Anderson Ander-son performances THAT THE night telephone service is not nearly as efficient as It might and should be and that something should be done to remedy the evil THAT SENATOR RAMSEY of the Utah Commission will probably not again return to Utah his resignation being emphatic and unconditional THAT THE good peoplo of Provo are very much pleased with the action of the Church authorities selecting the Garden City as the placefor holding the April conference THATTHE Groesbeck Brothers are riot responsible for the existence of the underground beer cellar on the Wa satch corner the proprietor rents the room from the Union Pacific THAT THE man who gravels his sidewalk side-walk so that it is passable during such weather as yj are now having does more for the cause of Christianity than he who hires a fashionable pew THAT THE Salt Lake theatregoers who attended the Carman performance owed it to themselves to have hissed the alleged tenor off the stage and given Mapleson a lesson honesty THAT THE new City Council havej within their power to cover themselves with imperishable glory by spending a few dollars on the street especially es-pecially in the business part of town TIIAT TIlE friends of His Departed Greatness would show a vast amount oC irood sense bv indulcincr in a Miil pn diminution of the amount of slush now being poured out upon Eli the First THAT MB A C Hammond of Park City leaves this morning Baltimore and that when he returns the population popula-tion of Utah will be increased by one a very popular youhg lady who will be known as Mrs A C Hammond THAT A great many of the better class of U tabs business menMormon and nonMormon would rather see Col Meriitt Governor of Utah than anyone else who has aspirations for the position posi-tion THAT A wellkHOwn Salt Laker refused re-fused to go to a party because it was Lent and the same evening he visited a gambling den lost 50 got very drunk and was taken home in ahack at day light next morning THAT IF the new local of the Tribw could only foresee what he will pom pelled to put up with from thegafigsvitl which he is now associated he would hie himself back to Cheyenne whys cheap railroad rates are popular THAT A hotel man and a newspaper reporter manufactured an elegant boquet consisting of onions and cab bagcleavcs for Maplesons alleged tenor and that the only reason for il not being thrown at the maccaroni eaterwas that during the last two acts he did not appear on the stage alone THAT TUE following incident though originally occurring abroad recently had its counterpart in Salt Lake Sarcastic Sar-castic Wife Coming home as usuaL I suppose Musband who sometimes attends at-tends a session of the lodge every night in the weekYes certainly Sarcastic Sarcas-tic wfrWell put this letter in the mail in the mornmg and if you meet the milkman tell him to leave two quarts Tableau |