Show Pitching Horseshoes Billy Takes Notes as Met Dream Board Holds Meet By II Billy III 3 Rose nose In my last piece on the Metropolitan Metro Metro- politan opera house I suggested that hat the present board of directors hold one 1 lat last a st meeting and fire themselves I wound u up p b by y t listing 28 pros I 1 would like to see replace the 37 a. a amateurs w who v h ii o a- a recently threatened threatened threat threat- ened cued to close up the Met Today Id I'd like to imagine that Billy Rose this dream board boards is s in session for the first time To the left of the chairman sits Arturo pleased as punch that the he has al always always al al- ways detested have finally been given the heave To his right rights is s Bernard M. M Baruch who has consented to act as financial adviser adviser ad ad- iser and a few chairs down sits Anna Rosenberg in charge of la labor labor labor la- la bor relations Around the big mahogany table are arc opera experts like ike Boris Goldovsky and Laszlo Halasz men like Oscar Hammerstein II and Robert Edmund Edmund Edmund Ed Ed- mund Jones and technical heavyweights heavyweights heavyweights heavy heavy- weights like Hassard Short and John Murray Anderson Off in a corner taking shorthand notes is your old friend little Willie Long Range Plans The meeting has been called to discuss a the season of 49 and b a range long plan to mal make e opera more palatable and profitable profitable profitable profit profit- able in America But before the board gets going on these problems problems problems lems it has decided to devote an hour to cleaning up some of the nuisances around the opera house Some Sonic of these nuisances are re recent recent re re- cent ones others are as old as the Met On small pads in front of each member they arc are listed as Cliques Claques Clucks and Coast to Tours One of the box office men has been asked to tell what he knows about society cliques and their undercover deals with ticket scalp scalp- ers Cliques These deals have been going on for as long as I can remember says the box office man You see Instead of ot selling I our choice locations on a first- first served first basis we allot them to the Park avenue Long Island and Westchester society cliques Some of these subscribers ers of course are fine people and an asset to the Met but a certain certain tam tain percentage percenta e are arc not above chiseling Instead of using the tickets themselves they turn them over to scalpers for considerably more than they paid and when the public wants a choice seat it generally has to pay 50 to over the box office price How would you suggest we go about curing this 7 asks the chairman Heres Here's the thc Cure Lets sell our subscriptions says the box office man with the understanding that they're nontransferable And then go a astep astep a. a step further and stamp the name of the subscriber on each cach paste paste- I board With a bit of diligence we ve would soon know who was rc rc- selling elling his tickets and next seaon season season sea- sea son on we could freeze him out when he ie came to buy a subscription S like a good plan says the he chairman Clucks One of the bartenders at the Met has been asked for his views on how to handle the dumb clucks lucks whose opening night antics have been getting the Met a lot lotof lotof lotof of bad publicity Vell Well if it was up to me mc says the barman Id handle it this way vay Any time a dizzy dowager got gay and hiked her skirts above her ler knees I would have strong strongmen men toss her out A c beautiful solution says the chairman It is so ordered Claques One of the opera cx- cx erts asks to be heard The claque he says like the Japanese Japanese Jap Jap- anese beetle is a foreign importation tion and it has been disrupting performances since the Met was organized Its It's my opinion that it t will go out of business as soon as the artist is told that the first phony hony demonstration will mean cancellation of his contract Showman Speaks Coast to Tours A showman showman showman show show- man speaks up Last year the Met scheduled the most extensive tour in its history Everyone in the he entertainment business s knew knewt it t was a cinch to sell out wherever wherever ever it played played everyone everyone that is but jut the board of directors But instead of picking up a pencil anc and multiplying theater capacities by ticket prices and getting an estimate estimate estimate esti esti- mate of probable revenue the di directors directors dl- dl rectors handed over the booking of most of this tour to a couple of entrepreneurs In return for a flat performance per guarantee Its It's true the Met made some money on this tour but its it's equally true that it would have made more had it handled the bookings itself That sum would have wiped out 70 of last sea sea- sons son's deficit The chairman raps the gavel The hours hour's up ladies and gentlemen gentlemen gentle gentle- men he says Lets meet again after lunch The little man with the shorthand pad has asked for fora a few minutes to discuss ways am and means of making opera more appealing appealing ap ap- ap- ap pealing to the average American Copyright by Billy Rose Roce |